Transcript
Cover Page Working title: The Cell Block Society Post-Release Master Plan Author: Levert Brookshire Subtitle: Protecting Legacy Third Calendar Year Post-Release Work count: 19K Page count: 22.5 *Reaching the end of all forms of state controls over personal forms of freedoms. A new start with no authority above my head threatening to take away my freedom. Now I'm really a free man in every sense. I take a look back to remind myself that I got to reach this goal where it all began. What inspired this plan in the first place: *How to reconcile my strained relationships with my kids to establish a connection with them, getting actively involved with their lives, bringing them into the volunteer way of life, showing what it means to appreciate what we have. Treating myself to a well-deserved road trip after finishing parole. *Leaving, reminders throughout this section of my plan to inspire motivational spirit that helps to maintain my focus. Follow one course until successful. Rescue legacy. That's my focus in the final stage or last chapter of my plans. *Reference specific early childhood memories which are special memories used to generate ideas and stimulate my thinking at key times in my life. 'Archaeological notes.' There will be occasions when I'll be discouraged and lose motivation. To reignite my torch, I'll depend on the key sparks left inside these plans when I re-explore its contents later on. *To create a grassroots movement that assists prisoners who are planning to be released and those who are released. Using this model I've used joining up with other groups such as W.O.M.M.B. Institute to collaborate with my group Cell Block Society Initiative. Produced by: The Cell Block Society Initiative Working Title: Cell Block Society Post Release Master Plan Author: Levert Brookshire Protecting Legacy Third Calendar Year Post-Release Welcome to the future, if I'm reading this part of the plan while still standing on the outside perimeter of prison fences on my third calendar year of post-release. It could only mean one thing, I made it to the future. Using these plans to help me get here. What seems only a short time before my future appeared to look so different. But that's an entirely different subject for later on in this plan. So far it's achieved what it's been designed to do. Helping me to protect my life, practice healthy living habits and keep steering me away from strife and hardship. Its mechanisms have helped to protect my freedom too. Following course of action that's been mapped out and precalculated in advance with only moderate adjustments that have been needed along the way for adaptation to work what started out as an experimental self-exploration project, confined to institutional fences and graffiti marked cell walls would not only forever change the course of my life, but alter the course of my entire thinking process, and hopefully my lasting legacy, from this third year of post-release and beyond. Plans that were not meant to be drafted, not expected to formulate and definitely not likely to work, having all the odds stacked against them. With the day to day ongoing changes of tormented personalities, inside here with a limited amount of space, constant clashing of illiterate, tortured souls, feuding over what scarce, desperate scraps they can find, granted me very little room in a remote corner of the animalistic and barbaric world of 'cellblock life', to finish the work needed for these plans Constructed based upon what I have started to envision for my future life. Even as I sat shackled to one place, surrounded by men with malice, treachery, and hatred in their hearts, pumping through their veins, waiting for a chance to unleash their violence and intolerance, with explosive rage. These creative ideas and well thought out plans still rose up from such unlikely, inauspicious origins to be become something valuable and important to my life outside of prison, starting out in nearly childlike curiosity to test and prove the ability of my ideas, soon had developed into an intellectual, 'scholarly', personal quest for me. Each step that i took in this quest grew to be alot more personal, much more deeply emotional. Using just these words and logic I've been able to test and prove the ability of my ideas, for three calendar years now. I needed this to work, in order to rescue my legacy and leave my mark on this life, no precedent was to be compared for any transformation that's taken place or happened in my family's history. Now that I've reached this stage of my plans. Where I estimated myself to be at, along this stage of my new found freedom. When I first came up with the idea of constructing a personal plan to use as a road map when I'm released, a chart I could reference for directions when I needed to. Right here at this place, is where three years' post-release shows me to be at, according to my plans. If I continued to stay on course, following the same plans drafted up years earlier. This is what my future would presumably look like. Taking into account of course only those threats and challenges that I already knew about, that would be waiting for me. But when it comes to the threats and challenges that come without any warning or notices, I had to rely on my innate instinct, creative adaptability and structured problem solving system, to navigate my way through them. The same instincts, creative adaptability and structured problem solving system that I formulated and developed during my darkest hours, often alone with my thoughts, confined to a cramped space, sitting in cells. A time in my life I thought of two things, constantly. My past and my future. When I though of my past, my childhood. I remembered school teachers, guidance counselors, aunties, uncles, always scolding me about the same exact criticism over and over again, leaning over, pointing fingers in my face saying, "Levert, I know you're an extremely smart little boy" who is not challenged enough intellectually." "Left alone, you wander off mentally into dangerous areas looking for something more challenging..." This often led me into deeper and deeper dangers, resulting in deeper and deeper troubles, usually illegal. kinds of trouble. I thought about this part of my childhood alot, an important part that was ignored as I got older. Kept buried, hidden away and covered up, forgotten for years. Until lit was dug up during my self-archaeological project, uncovered, brought to the surface, 'dusted off' and closely examined for clues to my future. When I thought about my future, I though about how this baggage could become an issue for me later on in my life, sabotaging my future and my freedom, legacy, everything. Compelling me to draft a personal plan, that makes certain, is packed full with intellectual challenges to keep me busy for years and years to come. This post-release master plan was the start of those intellectual challenges, by initiating the research necessary, organizing the information collected, vetting out the useful from the non useful, sorting it, arranging and compiling it into these practical, comprehensive, personal essays to build on my own working structure of time line plans, carefully thought out, measured and calculated, to manage the affairs of daily challenges outside of prison, making sure not to take on too much while ensuring that i'm never left without intellectual challenges, while I've still left personal space to enjoy the needed feeling of being free, relaxed and stress-free. According to calculations, at this third year of my post-release plan. This should be right about the time, I'm either within my last few months of discharge or have already been officially discharged from all forms of court imposed, state controlled parole/community supervision. Receiving a 21 year prison sentence, 85% of which must be served inside state operated institutions beginning April 3, 2003. That should mean nothing less than 17 years, 10 months and 10 days to be spent inside fences before any kind of eligibility for community or parole release can even be considered. I've spent even longer than the mandatory amount of time stipulated, which leaves me roughly three years state controlled and monitored parole supervision remaining to serve out in the community, post-release. Reaching this third calendar year into my post release plans. Actually leaves the amount of time remaining for any/all formal court imposed state authority or jurisdiction over my personal freedom after April 3, 2003. Legally and officially terminated by this stage of my time line plans. After all, I was sentenced only 21 years nothing more. Having served over 18 years of that confined to state institutions, how else could there be, any other reason for keeping me shackled up to state parole after reaching this third year stage of post-release. Having finally achieved my goal, successfully. With no other chains or shackles of state controls or bondage to restrict or limit my freedoms or hinder my physical movements any longer. Not having any more people in state appointed authority positions to report of my whereabouts to, who I'm living with, what I'm doing, so on, so forth. Finally, after 21 years of being under state controlled programming. Kept under strict, tightly managed, state operated criminal justice matrix-system, the shackles have come off. Put there as a result of where I had allowed myself to wander off to, unchallenged intellectually, led to unfortunate, faulty decision making and experiencing alot of painful, emotionally trying, very difficult and complicated struggles along my personal journey as I wandered off looking for different challenges. It ought to be of no surprise to anybody in my life right now, especially to myself. After surviving what I have just been through. Making it to this point after 21 years of bondage and torment. Now that I'm finally unchained and truly free, without any forms of mental or physical limitations to restrict me or hold me back. Now I'm excited about having my peace of mind back and all of my freedom too, all 100% of it under my personal control. I'm able to express it as I choose, however I see fit. Now that I can, I want to mark this special occasion with something unique, special and well deserved. A special reward to myself for making it through so many tests and challenges and struggles to get here. Applying my own 'thinking' abilities and constructing my own structured, problem solving system. I've been fortunate enough to reach solutions and solve the problems I've faced so far. At lease for these three years now, proving to myself and everyone else in my life, I've found my way back. No more wandering off anymore. I'm eager to celebrate and reward myself with a healthy, responsible, well deserved vacation or road trip, somewhere in the Flagstaff Mountains. Reaching this goal, I set for myself first it was conceived while I was locked up. I was still free to let my mind roam anywhere it wanted to go. To reach this goal I set for myself years earlier while I was being held inside a cell. This deserves to be finished out the way that I imagined it being finished, while sitting inside that cell. I promised myself back in that cell if in fact I was fortunate enough to make it this far into my post-release plans. I would've earned myself a memorable reward, to mark this occasion, and to celebrate this new, unrestricted, personal freedom. A trip to the woods, a travel trailer, campfire, outdoors, roasting, wiht a soft, sweet smelling, voluptuous, female beauty, curled up in a sleeping bag next to me, watching the campfire as it 'crackles', smoking medicinal kush marijuana, someplace distant, free and peaceful, for renewal of my senses and to gain another level of clarity before I set off, going forward with these future intellectual challenges and post-release plans. This is my decompression time, to re-establish my sense of hope, vision and purpose before I move forward with the rest of my plans in life. This is how I will mark my reconnection to freedom again, to people, also to myself. Making it this far into the plan hasn't been easy for me. Getting to this stage was not guaranteed either, not to be taken for granted. I had to fight my way through alot of challenges and battles first before I made it here. Most of them were within my own self. Temptations, distractions, discouragement, self doubt and insecurities. Each and every battle that I fought along this journey to get here, taught me something new and important. Change didn't come easy for me. Without any formal help, or professional counseling, or anything like that to guide me through it. I relied on books, reading, self-education. I can't forget how my own changes, had to come about. From constant, daily, rituals of pragmatic learning and experimental adaptation. Driven and motivated by a uniquely disciplined mind and focus, confined to a small, cramped, windowless cell where I stayed 23 hours a day for years Now the most difficult, challenging part has finally ended, having no more court or state imposed authority over my head, threatening my freedom. Now, my personal freedom will take on a whole new meaning from now on. Renewing my hope, vision and purpose. Enough thought and painstaking effort has gone into the construction of these plans to ensure there is always plenty intellectual challenges to keep me thinking and solving problems for years to come, without wandering off again. Intellectual challenges which keep protecting my life, protecting my freedom and protecting my personal legacy. Through my self-discipline and through well thought out, well planned out systems of rituals for myself to follow,similar to t hose which helped me make it here. I've penned very similar plans to follow in my future as well. To be pulled off the shelf, dusted off and looked at again, to reference again whenever circumstances threaten my freedom, life or legacy again, in the future. Whenever times of uncertainty and discouraging events arise in my coming years, or temptations distract me away from my plans, enticing me to wander off, looking for something else that isn't a part of the plans, leading me back to a place, that's dark and depressed, making me feel empty inside, I'll have these words to pull out for motivation again, to own up to. They are my reputation now, my legacy. I have to live up to them from now on. I've reached a place in my life, that's what matters the most. What can I do to make it up to my kids, my closest family members, to rescue my reputation and legacy to them. To make up for all those years I didn't fulfill my duties to them as a father. I placed all of the burdens, obligations, demands and responsibilities of parenting them on their mother's shoulders as I wandered off, selfishly immature. Until landing inside cellblocks, never stopping to think about the impack of my choices, how it's going to impact my kids' lives, in the long term. While construcing thee post-release plans for my future, I was forced to face these personal flaws of mine, take a look at my own fears and even failures. Facing them directly, thinking about how best to reconcile with them. After more than 21 years later, what do i say? I'm sorry won't be enough, but it's a good start. I love you is too, but love is an action word, show'em don't tell'em. During these past three years of my post-release I've made some efforts to begin confirming some of my kids and tracking them down, pin pointing their whereabouts, attempting to establish some kind of reconnection and relationship between us, with those who are even interested. As I expect there will be some who will communicate some level of indifference. When they've never seen me before, heard anything about me, or even knew of my name. How could I have expectations for them to recognize me or become excited about finally meeting me, when they're probably not even sure what to call me? My biggest expectation is that, some day they learn to accept our relationship and become connected together. Become better acquainted, build up trust and share common interests. Giving me a second chance to offer them everything that they missed from me as a father, as they grew up. I can start giving them all they still deserve from me, but had to miss out on as they were young kids. These are only a few notions that I have, as I attempt to rescue my flawed reputation and defective legacy. With my complete and total personal freedom back under my own control. Now, without limitations or restrictions to hold me back, I can prove to each one of them, just how hard I'm willing to work for their forgiveness, trust, and their confidence in me. I'd like to start by saying to each one of them that I am deeply, sincerely sorry admittedly, I'm also flawed but I'm trying. No plans or goals for my future could mean anything to me without having their love and forgiveness to keep driving me forward. There wasn't any possible way for me to put a time line on this part of my plan, no way for me to predict how long or when I'll knnow they have forgiven me. What I do know is that I'll keep working hard to earn it because it's my purpose in life. And as the old saying goes "he or she who loves their work never labors." I can't undo my past mistakes but I can move forward in my life's journey, this new freedom I have, with love, consideration and empathy for others. Every day is an opportunity. I've been given today to accomplish something that is meaningful and serves a purpose. Working for something else besides just money. My reputation and legacy now is more important to me than money. How my family members and kids remember me when I'm under this earth, gone. That's reputation capital. It buys more than material possessions. These final years that I'm alive, I've decided to use them to build up my reputation currency. Particularly by being of service to others who are in need of help and support. Leading by example and showing my kids what's actually even more fulfilling than receiving. In my past, I had never given much thought at all to my personal legacy. I never took it very seriously. I was actually carelessly irresponsible with it. Never gave a thought to the way my kids or close family members, would speak of my name or remember me, when I was gone. While I was captive inside prison cells, this became something else I'd begun giving alot of thought to, and something important to me these days which is why I've dedicated this entire section ot the legacy plans for my life. An entire plan organized around the rescue of my reputation. Looking back over the past ways I've neglected it or wasn't protecting it I've become actively involved with rebuilding it from scratch. Getting directly involved with the lives of my kids is one way to start. By making my physical availability and presence known to them. Making contributions to their lives in whatever ways that I can, being a source of support for them whenever they need me to be. Show each one of them unconditional love from now on. This is my first plan of action with rescuing my reputation and protecting my legacy. Secondly, I'm going to simply start giving to others who are in need. Although I've experimented with volunteer work here and there in my past life, I enjoyed the way it made me feel inside after doing it. But, it never became something I did continuously, most of my past life and past relationships I stayed focussed on myself. Fascinated with myself, only thinking about my own needs being met. In my self-transformation process, I shifted my focus from myself to others, in relationships with me. In doing this, something powerful has happened inside me. By forgetting my own wants for a change, to think about others' needs, I started to grow. I have more fun and enjoy more personal fulfillment when I stopped trying to obsess over getting what I wanted and instead, start to help others get what they needed. I've shifted my inspiration to others also, pointing out their unique talents and strengths, to get others motivated, offering them needed encouragement and support, and it did amazing things for me inside. I discovered how giving to help others, is better than receiving to help your own self. From now on, this is how I plan to rescue my reputations. I've always had this inside of me, but never knew how to express it outwardly. When I was only a little boy, and would watch the excitement and joy of others given food, blankets and coats donated to the neighborhood churches. It made me think about the importance of having generosity for others. If it hadn't been for human compassion and generosity I would have missed many of nights without eating, without warm clothes and without a shelter. Im planning to get involved with Volunteers of America.org to do some volunteer work. Giving my time, labor and resources, throughout their organization. Along with helping out those in need of help around my community. I hope to bring my kids along with me. To do simple things for other people that uplift others' spirits, everything from doing yard work for the elderly to missionary work abroad, all the way to visiting the terminally ill who are confined to hospital beds. Hopefully showing my kids by example how easy it is for us to only focus on ourselves, we lose touch with what real 'need' means, real suffering looks like? Sometimes we have to be reminded of how fortunate we are, to appreciate the gifts we do have. Every day is an opportunity for us to better ourselves and improve on our relationships, while being grateful for the things we do have. If, I put forth a sincere effort to pass on some really 'fulfilling' and 'long lasting' lessons imparted into my ids, who knows the impact I can have in their lives? Anytime we throw a pebble into a body of water, one even as small as a grain of sand. We never really know how far the ripples will travel. We never know how far the impact of our actions will have on the world, or the people around us. I would like this volunteering, and being of service to others to define my legacy. Showing them how to be certain that, their actions are always accounted for. And how they make positive differences in the world, thinking about others for a change. There were some books that I was fortunate to come across during my cell archaeology period, many I've already mentioned in earlier parts of this plan, another particularly helpful book that gave me alot of insight into this post release transition is "How to do Good After Prison" by Michael Jackson. He explains the required mindset we must have to stay out of prison, and the necessary actions we must take to face our obstacles. We all need help at some point and time. We can't let that stubborn pride stop us from asking for it. There are times when I myself may have to resort to getting help from any of these 'charity' or permanent handouts. But as an alternative to organizations, for temporary relief. Not long term. But as an alternative to doing something illegal. I've got to show my kids how to look at life's obstacles as merely a cause for them to strengthen their resolve to figure out a healthy way to overcome them, instead of reacting to them impulsively how I once did. I'm eager to show them by example how I've since awakened to this new model of thinking and the way it has helped me to stay out of prison, and has kept me driving myself towards inner peace and self-sufficiency, helping me to keep my life simplified, using my own abilities and limited resources smart and modestly. I think about how far I have come, from my past consumer mentality, worshipping material possessions, to now, where those things serve no purpose in my life. Like the "ripples" from a pebble thrown into a body of water, how far they travel, who knows? I'd like to use what little time I have remaining here to create some small 'ripples' on the surfaces of my kids' memories. Using small gestures and acts of kindness to help others who are in need, to serve as my pebbles in the future. Knowing the reputation I create for myself today using these small gestures and acts of kindness will make the small ripples inside their memories, but who knows just how far they will travel on? Hopefully they will become the legacy that I leave behind when I'm gone, who knows? Before I knew about reputation, legacy or even memories, before I had any clues to the life that was ahead waiting for me. As a little boy, just starting to 'wander off' embarking on a curious journey of my own, naively innocent to the dangers and treachery of the world I sought to explore in one of the simplest things, taking it all in. There was some small, non spectacular events and simple moments which to me, aren't fascinating or remarkable in any way. But in my explorative years as a little boy for whatever reasons, the memories are still with me to this very day. Along with some very traumatic and heart wrenching ones as well. All of them, innocent or traumatic have ripple effects that travel with us throughout the rest of our lives. Ripple effects that shape how we form relationships, make connections with others, impacting the way we reach our conclusions, develop our empathy for others, or if we ever develop it at all. My earliest childhood memory goes as September, 1972, when me, my two sisters Tina and Tisha were seated in the back seat of my uncle Dick's VW together, as we pulled into the rear part of San Bernardino's Community Hospital maternity ward 'pick up'. I stood up in my seat to see outside the window, as I looked around I could see my aunt Michelle being pushed outside the hospital doors, as she sat in a wheelchair wrapped up in hospital blankets and cradling my newborn baby cousin Virgil, who I was getting to meet for the very first time that day, I was only 4 years 7 months myself, at the time. Who became my little brother from that day to the present, forming and building unbreakable bonds between us, since day one of his arrival. Between my sisters and Virgil or "Bird" as the family came to call him, we went on as any other poor, low income neighborhood family did in those days, and lived out a dysfunctional childhood together in fun and "tumultuous harmony". While the adults drank alcohol around us had little money left to feed us, but always kept a loaf of bread and a pack of wieners just in case, we learned to protect each other and what little we did have very early. Although I wasn't the eldest child in the family, Tina was 15 months before me, it became obvious to all of us very early on, that I certainly was always the first who came up with a solution to whatever difficulty we faced at the time. It wasn't easy for us to stay kids as we always faced and had real adult worries to think about. Like, how are we supposed to eat breakfast, get dressed and see to it that all four of us got to school safely on time, when the adults were either absent or passed out from a long night of drunkenness the day before. It was hard for us to understand why, at those young ages during the early years of childhood, years I've come to characterize as my very first small 'pebbles', to be skipped across the still surface of my earliest memories. Triggering the very first 'ripples' to travel across the body of water for years to come, and miles beyond. Leaving a deep impression and impact on my fertile, young mind and energetic spirit. In a way that impacted all the rest of my upbringing, how I went on to develop my sense of identity, social skills and my value system too. Now I can look back on it all, and see why I went on to have little or no trouble losing all respect for adult authority figures and laws. Myself, Tina, Tisha and Bird felt neglect and family strains very early on. Being that young, we felt all alone, having no knowledge about the bigger picture or the wider, political, economic, social realities that surrounded us, at that time. I recall the conditions of my family's dysfunctions and deep poverty first becoming a source of embarrassment, shame and self-consciousness for me around my neighborhood and at school also. Because of this I began trying to cover it up, creating lies, hiding my extreme signs of poverty anyway I could. I came to need a "facade", a "charade" had to be put up. Instinctively I learned how to become the "master of disguise". No doubt a tactic used to be a "coping skill" and "defense" mechanism against cruel, hurtful remarks from my peers. Something used to divert attention away from the holes in my shoes, tears in my oversize clothes, passed down from Uncle Ricky's closet, with the mismatched socks I wore to school. It all became a source of painful trauma for me, that gnawed at my self consciousness for my entire childhood, driving me closer to my rebellious stages of life, I couldn't have seen coming. A stage to eventually unleash a flood of built up repressed anger and tensions, years of mounting frustrations and inner defiance. Paving the way for my coming "Criminal Rebellion", as my mentor, George L. Jackson came to term such forms of early childhood defiance, and disobedience. A stage right before, our full on leap and conscious dive into the "criminal" lifestyle. Making small steps at first, before my full departure and break from civility. Starting with smaller, petty criminal acts of defiance first. Then at 15 making my full fledged allegiance, enlisting as an infantry soldier into San Bernardino California's Armed Forces. California Gardens' "Blue Army", est. 1983 in the Inland Empire Valley, of Southern California's wretched streets. This is where I said my official goodbyes to my family and all social conformities, to cross that proverbial street into the awaiting arms of my new sociopathic, predatorial, criminal family. Where I began to devolve at, into another social statistic. But I digress as I wrestle with trying to retrace my very fist early childhood 'ripples', from the first 'pebbles' thrown across the still, calm surface of my memories' earliest fertile years Memories that become prominently illustrated once I began to travel down memory lane again. Trying to extrapolate anything else of use from my past, to be penned inside these pages, for my future plans. Someday for me to look them over, as they will bear out the roots and early seeds of my past. "As the branches grow, the tree will follow'. So I let the voice of my childhood speak through these words. As they will express the sounds of my truth and sincerity as I know it to be whenever I have to revisit myself later on, in my future. I know they will come from a place of understanding now, and love not resentment or repressed anger, that's been released already. I no longer have to carry any of that around anymore in order to temper my resolve to change. Nor do I have to remember each and every single traumatic experience to be reminded of the ways I beared the flurry of emotional pain, as a kid. Knowing there's a possibility my own kids might come to read these words at some point in the distant future, when they've put me underneath this earth returned to the essence. I'm certain that they'll be able to sense the levels of ominously violent scenes that had been skipped across the surface of my fertile memory and the ripple effects that travelled with me. The process of reconstructing my earliest childhood memories for this part of my post-release plan, 'protecting legacy'. I rationalized that alot of good, useful insights into my legacy building could be gained by re examining the content and meanings of my past, organizing the knowledge and insights into these written essays that can be used later on to help generate ideas and important solutions to future problems surely to arise later in life. A unique methodology of my own creation for solving problems, which does not guarantee anything. It only places emphasis on the importance of taking the time out to think and explore, instead of reacting impulsively. Using this new way for me will be an effectively helpful way to arrive at reasonable healthy and responsible hypothesis. Drawing from my life experiences allows me to repurpose them for important uses, late on in my life. this was the idea behind my post-release plans from the very beginning. Wisdom and insights that came from first hand accounts converted into philosophical, scholarly produced works which have drawn out the logical conclusions of the 'misunderstood' past. Abandoning my street reputation and criminally glorified monikers and distinct gang titles for the more respected and prestigious labels and titles attributed to prominent and distinguished writers and essayists who also used the process of writing before me to create their legacy as wordsmiths, artisans and scribes. Taking what civilized society will use against me, once outside prison, making it into subversive, distasteful, and untrustworthy labels for me to wear around my neck, for the rest of my life. I found a way to redeem my social ostracization and redirect the attention away from the negative concerns and place the attention onto examples being made through proven actions, not just penned words. Rescuing my legacy is going to require alot more that mere words. The words are only the 'standards' that I'm establishing for myself, to live up to. That said, I've done a good amount of research and taken alot more actions towards positive changes than any amount of writing I've ever done on the subject, making me more than just a 'scribe' or 'theoretician'. In the status quo's eyes and views, only those who have paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for their sanitized text book educations, at prestigious universities and have their highly celebrated, impressively produced accolades, PhD's, masters and doctorates framed on their walls to prove it. Only thing is these distinguished social scientists and political alchemists do not recognize my conclusions as legitimate or my educational sources, they beg for credentials first and hundreds of thousands invested in education before you can be taken seriously or seen with the golden solution, instant results or formal propositions. All of which self educated, reformed ex felons like myself do not have to provide. Yet I could hold my own in a deep, intellectual discussion with the best of them. Knowledge is knowledge no matter where we attain it, in a cell or a classroom, if we pay for it or get it for free. The success or failure of these plans either they prove to be true or effective, or useless and a waste of time. A determination reached indeed once execution has started, revealing the results and outcomes accordingly. There was the profound words of a prominent philosopher/writer named Friedrich Nietzsche who said, "the strong are those who are more complete as human beings who have learnt to sublimate and control their passions to channel the will to power, into a creative force." I've already come to accept the reality that effectiveness of these writings I've penned and the value of their important function will be swept aside and dismissed by the status quo educators in the professional circles, who, I'm sure to them, my works will then be unnoticed. Perhaps long down the line into the future the professional communities will have a thinking shift and take a turn. Then my CellBlock philosophy and theoretical ideas about self transformation will get their just dues, and go on to become a part of the distinguished scribes or renowned prison authors and theoreticians, who are and always will be remembered, for their writings about self reform, models for change and "CellBlock" reflections of meaning and substance. Making insightful contributions to the important stuff being argued, discussed and conversed about where prison reform is concerned. Hopefully I've offered something uniquely different when it comes to the paradigms and dynamics of the so called 'criminal psychology.' As the great philosopher David Hume wrote, "Anything not given in experience is mere invevntion and must be ruthlessly discarded." Inspired by his writings and other prominent writers facing the decision what to title these written works I've penned for my post-release plans many ideas crossed through my mind. One of my first choices was "The Celldweller's Manifesto" which was borrowed from one of my favorite writers and philosophers Karl Marx who authored "The Communist Manifesto" that was heavily based on the conditions of humanity in regard to survival inside societal circumstances. Whereas these writings and the philosophy behind them are heavily based on two of humanity's conditions - one of confinement for long periods of time and then the conditions one faces after being set free, to face societal circumstances, with emphasis placed on the human need to survive, being a captive prisoner. Taking whatever raw matterials one can find inside the prisons, no matter how scarce their resources and space. Convert into usable area and goods necessary for one's own survival inside prisons and outside too, hence the title is "Cell Block Society," a double meaning. IN this context and particular function I seek to leave my own unique impact in some small way besides just becoming another numerical statistic on the matrices' hard drive or database. Even if that demanded of me, that I use my entire time of confinement towards self-education and investing my time into studying and learning the writing process in order for me to rise above the challenge, that's what I was willing to do. Whatever was demanded of me to be confident and prepared once I was released to society this time, I'm certain there's no going back to prison ever again. Using my mind now to ensure myself of this. Creating new, innovative ways of thinking and behaving that will keep me in society, not prisons. I will no longer be coping with childhood traumas, shameful memories or defending myself with defense mechanisms to fight embarrassment over being broke and poverty stricken. Reaching out to 'crime' for a fast solution to take risks and jeopardize my life, freedom and legacy just to replace mismatched socks, oversized clothes, tattered, worn shoes with the new fashion trends, spending decades inside institutions away from family and kids because of my obsessing over the way my peers saw me. Trying to live up to the latest fashions, have the flashy cars and jewelry, as a way to cover up my past, childhood years of poverty and feelings of embarrassment and shame. I've finally found my own 'coping' system. I've since deconstructed it and replaced it with a new, healthier system. This one doesn't need to feel praise or any approval from the streets. No kinds of status symbols or fashion trends mean anything to me anymore. I only seek forgiveness from my kids and want a relationship with them. I would like to help out those in need who are in the same circumstances that I had to grow up in. Those are the people I want to help and be of any service that I can to. If I can maybe inspire some other celldwellers who are preparing themselves for release soon who also might be in need of a change of heart and inspiration for a proven, tried, and tested plan for social transitioning and re-adjustment, using realistic strategies that help them through self-reform, I'll be more than happy to either do motivational speaking, one on one consulting or behavioral psychology counseling, etc. Giving back to society and making a positive impact is all that I care about. Hopefully by my example I'll be able to show others how to create their own personalized model for change. One that speaks to them directly and truthfully. My approach to prison reform starts with self-reform first. We can't legislate personal responsibility and accountability. One must seek to change with self. In this area, I have penned something of unique value and importance here, for the emerging field of criminal justice reform. Using some of my personal discoveries noted here in my behavior modification process. How to uncover deeply buried, powerful motivations that drive us into criminality, soon into the prison culture programming. This isn't a one size fits all problem. So, there's not any one size fits all solution. However, constructing more and more institutions, legislating stricter laws, where has that solution got America? Deprogramming criminal socialization encoded into our thinking, using a specialized re-education process to reprogram one's thinking is a must. I don't claim to know all the answers. But I do know that 'failure' is not trying and 'unsuccessful' is learning. Completing my formal educational/training courses and receiving my own official certification/diploma, now it's time to move forward into my next stage of these plans. Having an official diploma in either substance abuse counseling, alcohol/drug treatment specialist training, behavioral health technician schooling, or criminology/sociology studies, all of these or any one of the, will play an important role when it comes to using my past life experiences and past background history to good, beneficial usage. Even my long, past history and experience inside the prison system, my past experience with the legal process and criminal court proceedings, acting as my own legal defense, learning the private investigators' duties, what the paralegal does. All of it will be repurposed and converted into my new professional career, relying on all of my life experiences to 'help' me and not 'harm' me, in civilian life. Using what I've been through to benefit me. I can use it now for motivational speaking, private consulting, and group counselling sessions. Having that diploma will be the key that opens the door to opportunities. I can even repurpose what I've done before as I 'hustled' grinding in those streets. Back when, I used legal businesses as a way for me to launder illegal money, now I can use the same businesses today for completely legitimate purposes. For example, '"Tools Helping Underground Society" Inc., or "Thugs Inc." My first experience with marketing, producing and even distributing goods and merchandise online and directly to the public, or my first cash only legal business, "Levert's Royal Auto Detailing," later on my real estate investing that started in Glendale, AZ, with my first piece of property. There are no limits to where I can take my future. F.O.C.U.S., Follow One Course Until Successful. Based on this model, I've already begun experimental strategies to introduce this whole 'deprogramming' concept into the (prisoner) population, all over the U.S. Joining up with other grassroots prisoner advocacy organizations that are already deeply embedded inside the U.S. penal system. I am looking to introduce these same (behavior modifications) structures, to other prisons who may be searching for a formula that has proven to turn one's criminality around. Giving others inside prison a 'thinking shift', to approach all of their personal problems, without 'criminal' rationale at all. I've got inside roads to several, thriving, well organized, vanguard prisoner advocacy groups, such as W.O.M.M.B. Institute which is deeply entrenched inside the AZ Department of Corrections prisoners' populations. They've agreed to assist me in creating a new paradigm to prepare the prisoners who are planning to release soon and want to be given every advantage possible in staying out of prison. I'll continue to be of help to prisoners and soon to be released ex-felons who want to make an easier transition rather than a rough one. The name that I've chosen for this prisoner/ex felon reform support group will be "The Cell Block Society Initiative." Archaeological Notes 1.) My earliest childhood memories range as far as September, 1972 on the day that I stood up on the rear seat of Uncle Dicky's pull back VW as we drove into Community Hospital's maternity/patient pick up area and I saw my Aunt Michelle being pushed outside the hospital in a wheelchair as she was holding a bundle of hospital blankets with her first newborn baby wrapped them, Virgil. 2.) I remember my father and mother telling me, Tina and Tisha to get into the car at our house on Gardena Street in Deimann Heights, as my father drove to Granny's house just around the corner. I saw Auntie Michelle appear out of nowhere in the middle of California Street wearing her nursing school blue and white training uniform, walking towards our car, soaked completely in blood, crying and upset still carrying the kitchen knife after stabbing her boyfriend Bobby, this was about 1973. 3.) I can remember walking across the stage after hearing my name called to pick up my diploma, graduating from Deiman Heights Center preschool. 4.) I remember my father turning on the TV to see his brother's house on the late, local news, with Uncle Frank's green Ford LTD parked outside SWAT teams surrounding it, as the SLA shootout unfolded at uncle's house, May 17, 1974. 5.) I remember my father taking me, Tina and Tisha for a ride in his manmade dune buggy behind our house in the dirt field. 6.) I remember going down the street to my neighborhood playmate's house to play and have fun at a Holloween Party. Tina cut open her foot sliding down the car window, slicing her foot open on windshield wipers requiring stitches at around 1974. 7.) I remember Aunt Alice's Pontiac station wagon bringing Jon Jon over to play rip around 1975. 8.) I remember Dad showing me how to ride a bike, standing on the curb. 9.) I remember Dad's green Electra 225. 10.) I remember him coming home from work angry and throwing a whole ham or turkey through the kitchen window for letting Uncle Ricky cut off of it. 11.) I remember the day Mama grabbed some clothes and us and ran off to leave Dad before he came home from work, I looked back and she was so determined to leave she left the house door hanging wide open, 1974-1975. 12.) We all ended up going to live with Granny, on California Street on the stone house across the street from Sharon, Darlene, Noonod and Eva, 1975-76. 13.) I remember holding onto Granny's hand as her guide walking her along the dirt trails and streets to get to her Harold's market to buy 'sherry' wine and our wieners and bread for the night. 1976. 14.) I remember Mama inviting all the neighborhood kids over for my birthday and they all sang Happy Birthday to me. This made my cry, embarrassing me. 15.) I remember being in a fist fight with neighborhood bully [illegible] who kicked my ass. 1976. 16.) Uncle Frank, Auntie Mary, Nookie, Fernette and Candy lived on Californa St. and 27th St., on the corner. 17.) Dad leaving his key under his door mat to let us in to cook us fried bologna sandwiches after school. 18.) I remember Dad lived in Villa Vernon Apartments in 1977 when Aunt Dora moved to San Bernardino, CA. 19.) I remember Dad lived on Blake St. down from Muscoy Elementary where we attended 1976, '77 and '78. 20.) I remember moving to 1st St. and [illegible] St., attending Vermont Elementary School, kids across the street had a swimming pool, our best friends, brother and sister, last name Kelly. 21.) I attempted to race another kid on my bike, got hit by a car, went to hospital, concussion found 1977 - 1978. 22.) Moved to Magnolia St. house down from Mt. Vernon School, went to Roosevelt School. 23.) Lived with Grandpa on Union St. Attended Allesandro School. Played at home and neighborly services to have fun. Around 1978. 24.) Went to 14th St. in the California Gardens for the first time ever, to live with Dorthy next to Tee Tee and Vernon for the first time ever. 1978. 25.) Definitely cannot forget moving to Crescent St., meeting my lifetime friend and adopted little brother David, Andy, Kirby and Chucky, my play sisters Lydia, Diane, Raelynn and Dawn. My first taste of street gang life for practice (smile), (Pink Ladies) and (Crescent St. Kings). How can I forget "ERC." And attending Arrowhead Elementary School with Mr. Lee and my first and last sleepover at our actual school. 26.) Where we were introduced to the 'G' Street Baptist Church which was amazingly helpful in keeping us close to kids as could be at the time. And the incredible Pam Blalock who took us into her life and became a mother to us all. Levert Brookshire Transcription completed 05/25/2019
