Transcript
Remorse is not something that a person acted out with like a soap opera. A defendant can articulate a display of remorse in court or at the parole board with crying and the good acting skills. Remorse is seen in a person demeanor his/her action, manners, and character. My respect towards women and men. People tried to rape me when I was 9 years old and 12. I was falsely arrested and jailed 3 days at the age 14. I was spit on as a child, kicked, punched and slapped in my face, cut with glass, threatened and kicked out of camp with my clothes thrown all over the cabin at 5 years old. I was neglected, unsupported, unloved, poor, called ugly, rejected, deprived, bullied, with no help from the education department, with my learning disability, living in a time of AIDS, HIV, crack, cocaine, violence. I was abused to the point I snapped and killed. Signs of a remorseful person I worked at summer youth, Dormole Printing Company, superior messenger services, Burger King, and Dagostinos supermarket. I did not rob, steal nor sell drugs. That is a sign of a remorseful person my actions everyday. People will sell dope crack, rob, steal and kill another to deprive another person of their property. People assault, rape a woman or man and child and not care one bit about it. That's a sign of a person who lack remorse. The court said in my "pre-sentence" report that I played a complete lack of remorse. However, I turned myself in to authority, took complete responsibility for my act, to be held accountable. Never once did I show intent or a lack of concern or remorse. The courts and people of the state of New York never showed remorse, empathy of any kind of conscious or concern to the disturbing traumatic abuse that was inflicted on me as child. No one stood up to be held accountable for what they did to me as a child. Nor did they offer me any support. Everyone who kicked, slapped, punched my in my face, who tried to rape me or get me to perform sex acts on them, who robbed me, stomped me, bullied me, all had girlfriends and children. I was outcasted, deprived, rejected, lonely, hurt, and left to fizzle to the point I became mentally and emotionally sick. The court only exploited the act I committed, but never examined the root cause of circumstances of childhood abuse. There's a reason why you can abuse a child and endanger the welfare, well-being and safety of a child. They put me in jail for 3 days and ignored every other aspect of my life. And remorse was well shown from me in a genuine way. Furthermore, you can treat a person who was abused, neglected, and deprived as a child with punishment and a one size fit all mental health department you will a turn a child to grow up to be angry at the world, women etc. An officer punched me in my face, and kicked me in my back at Comstock Correctional Facility. Inmates beat me up, make out on CR date, or max on a flat sentence while I get hit with 24 months every 24 months at the parole board. I told a lady that an officer beat me up in prison and go home and make love to his wife while I have a hurt back, she said "a woman can marry and date who she wants". I did not say a woman was in polygamy, or forced to marry or date people not of her choice. However, I am inflicted with physical, emotional, and mental-psychological torment, torture and pain. That is a form of slavery. That is treating me like a homosexual. I tried to talk to a girl when I was home. She told her boyfriend and he punched me in my face. I witness girls jumping in and out of drug dealers cars. In the project housing, I see the bullies rape girls, beat their girlfriends and baby mothers, even tried to get me to perform sex on them. They bullied and beat me up, cut me with glass. Also they sabotaged my relationship with my girlfriend, and sold crack cocaine drugs. The [redacted] year old lady [redacted] who I killed in 199[redacted] was on crack cocaine and suffering from addiction and desperation, which she like all addicts get into selling sex. Also in a time of AIDS. The government release and give time cuts to the bullies and drug dealers. They come though, beat me up, beat others and go back out to society. Psychologically speaking, the master would beat, torture and whip and kill the male slave in front of his wife, and women. An officer beat me like a slave, the bullies beat me up. The women don't care about that. I am going to tell the women don't talk to me at all with that mental health stuff. They love the bullies and oppressors. They don't understand me and is insensitive to my situation. A man was punching his girlfriend in her face on the subway, tried to fight me and my friend when we tried to stop him from hitting her and his girlfriend jumped in to help him. I was rejected and labelled as a punk, while men who punched me in my face, bullied me, tried to rape me, who rob me, who sell drugs and beat up their girlfriends, have children and were shown love. I get no love. The district attorney at my trial [illegible] told the trial judge about an emotional disturbance case, he said "I don't think you want to speak in that language". That is an obstruction of justice not to wake me up, to overcharge and convict me outside scope of evidence. That's [illegible] infliction. I guess that's why ISIS speak an Arabic language of "God is great". You're not better than ISIS for what you did to me, especially as a child.
