Spiraled out of control

SPIRALED OUT OF CONTROL By Larry E. May My life as I once knew it is gone, forever. It has been replaced by a new set of rules that I have little control over. In my freedom I took a lot for granted. I used to swim, loved driving my car or riding a motorcycle. I used to go to restaurants, take hikes in the forest and stroll up and down the beach picking up seashells. Can you relate to this? I used to check out concerts, play golf (It was my thing) and feel the thrill Of catching fish. Even the little things: walking to the store, or setting off fireworks on the 4th. All that’s gone now. I miss going to sports events, living with a woman or cutting down a real Christmas tree. And Halloweens were the best! Now I can’t even visit mt friends and family. And the worst is not being able to go to their funerals when their time comes. I can’t even say that last goodbye. Many have passed away, and the mail is slow I always learn after the fact. My parents are currently 87 and 88 years old (now, 93 and 94). I don’t even like to think about it. I have made some really bad decisions. I have caused a lot of pain and grief to people I know and strangers. When you hurt people, it spreads to other people and we’re all connected. It could even be a thousand people affected in my case. It is very sad. I was a selfish person. I didn’t think of anyone but myself. That’s not the way it goes. I was doing drugs. Even when you don’t plan for it, that’s what drugs eventually do. I didn’t listen when people were trying to advise me. It was like they were preaching to me. I hated it. My parents, teachers and friends all tried to tell me I was going down the wrong path. I refused to listen. Even to my best friend! I began doing drugs by myself. I would hide it from people. I spiraled out of control. Don’t make the mistakes I made. Don’t spiral out of control. LARRY E. MAY, CDCR# [ID number]