16 years since inception.

Martinez, Brandon



1 Brandon Martinez Word Count: 1,253 August 25, 2010 (NO TITLE) 16 years since inception. Been locked down in the department of correction entered the prison gate. Had no idea what would be my fate. Slangin the rocks from the triple beam. Was just a young buck having fun. Didnt realize what the cost of packing a gun. As I heard the iron gates rattle. Prepared for every twist and turn of the battle. For a life sentence surely I was doomed living in obscurity in a cocoon. Would I lose my mind. Or call out to the divine. Life started to pick up the pace. Got mighty bold. In this lonely environment I could catch a grasp. The blood started to drip. The fools starting to trip. Bodies droppin all around me. Was I up for the task of survival. Started to question my sanity, I began to ask, My lord, a lifetime of pure hell. Nothing like the streets, that foul smell. Wish I could return to the days. Kickin it with my friends, making the ends. Living a productive lifestyle. Didnt have to worry about the body pile. Would I be alive another day. Excuse me while I get down on my knees begin to pray. In here your not guaranteed tomorrow, so much strife and sorrow. Take me back where im not under attack. Rolling on the scene with my backpack. Just a teen, fresh with hope and a dream. The days of the bacon lookin lean. Way better then this prison grub. All I see around me is another one who wants to be a thug. They got no compassion. I wonder if it ever crosses there mind about everlasting. All because they wanted to go out in a so called blaze of glory. Never to return to tell there story. It’s the only time we make the breakin news. When our heads are hung low, we singin the blues. Tally up the cost gather up the pieces, restore what was lost. Or youll be sitting here in the joint. Thought you was somebody trying to make a point. But you fell victim 2 to the game, now your life is full of misery and shame. I dont know whats it gonna take, for you to give that street life a break. Maybe you need a mentor to help guide you in the right direction. Keep you from your drug deal connection for they are not your friends. Dont tell me. “it all depends.” Once you get caught up in the mix, doing what you do with them trix. Whos the one whos going to be carted off to jail your face will begin to turn pale. The cold thang about it, they wont even offer you no bail. All alone you will roam, gone are the days of the mobile phone. Where are your friends they didnt stick around. How fast it all came tumbling down. A few family members who will stay by your side with that unconditional love fit tighter then a glove. Without them you would never make it through your ordeal, real talk. Thats what I want to express unveil. I miss you lil Salena. Had to do what I had to do to survive. Put a roof over our head. Than God I didnt end up dead. It wasnt my fault because I just wanted some food to eat. There was no turning back, I would not retreat, Soon it became a dismal lil sight. Had me shakin and shiverin all through the night. As a kid, I had no idea or concern for what I did. If only I had chose to walk away, peraps my life would be different day after day. Would I have heard the voice of the inner call. Something, anything to take a break and stall. Maybe that would have been enough just a little glimpse of change. Helped me to get everything together, begin to rearrange. I came close when I took a peek. Livin in a gayed community I went legit. Gone where the days of the 40 ounce. There was no more worry about who would pounce. It wasnt just another sad tail. I seen that I could make it. I could prevail. That there was more then life then ending up in jail. For good measure, how good it felt to get a taste of pleasure. No more watching my back rat, tat a tat. Grandma youll always be on my mind. Utah was the place. Started a new life, there was no more being a disgrace. I could still smell the fresh cooked bread from that ole house. Watching the dogg chase around the mouse in the garden. Where grandma would cut a 3 fresh corn on the cob. Never had to be in distress about being robbed. How sweet it was. Left the garage door open just because. I swear if I could go back, Ide take nothing but a memory of that ole place. I know there would be something left, even if just a trace. Because out back is where my old dog is buried. Down the road is where grandma god married. The ravine is where we would run along and play. Splash and dance till our heart was content. Grandma would take us to church when we felt contempt. Take it to the alter we would repent. She would always steer us right, as we got into a plight. All and all me and my cousin went straight. There was no time to berate. Once you see the victory in hand. It becomes intense. Youll understand. That all things can be achieved in this ole world. Dont want to see you on death row beggin for a reprieve. I barely managed to wiggle away from the death chamber. They had no regard for my life. For I was just a kid living in strife. Wish I had been more wiser. Found some stepping stones along the route. Im certain my life would have been different, without a doubt. The courage to decide on your own volition. Know that the Lord has risen. Sometimes in life its hard to see the whole picture. All we concerned about is the latest gadget fixture. But let me caution you. Nothing will come overnight. Its gonna be a long road. The path will not be paved with gold. To take the necessary measures one step at a time. Gradually things will begin to get better as you make up your mind. Get yourself out of that rut, entwined in the shackles of despair. Look around, Im sure you could find someone who does care. Keep your head up son no matter what comes your way. Promise me, youll continue to pray. Before I take my seat. Ooh I don’t pull no punches, becoming with some heat. For the verses will surely drive away the curses. To speak it into the atmosphere. Close the door to your room, that is where it will begin to bloom. For we serve a savior who is just to forgive, kickin it with the homes getting into malice. In the pigpen of 4 oppression was your palace. He still hears a sinners prayer. Dont you give up. Dont you dare. Protection is assured in every direction even when you dont pause to make the connection. They got you covered standing in the gap. Provide some relief. A rest from all of the grief. Always keep hope alive when you see it come into flourishin youll know you have arrived…..

Author: Martinez, Brandon

Author Location: California

Date: September 16, 2015

Genre: Essay

Extent: 6 pages

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