Transcript
AIRPORT JITTERS BETTE JO ASKED, "HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT ME BEING STUCK IN THE PHILADELPHIA AIRPORT FOR TWO DAYS?" HOW DID IT BOTHER YOU? It was the weekend of Father’s Day, June 16, 2019 that Bette Jo who is my wife to be had fulfilled her planned trip to Bridgeton, New Jersey from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to visit me while incarcerated in South Woods State Prison. For the morning and afternoon visiting periods, we had five hours of togetherness that we’ve dream of, desired, and wanted since we met almost three years ago. The loving feelings of Heaven on earth filled the atmosphere by being in her presence and being able to do just the little things like hugging each other, kissing those wonderful soft lips which were like the most amazing star sparkling moments of Tender Loving Care in action, and holding hands throughout the time we spent glazing into each others eyes. Seeing Bette Jo’s beauty in pictures could not compare to seeing her beauty in person. Well, the Sunday visit came and went. From the first day of knowing my Sweetheart would be flying down here on a airplane, I became a nervous wreck. Why? I have an airplane phobia. It is not a fear of heights, but a fear of anything about getting near or on an airplane. As a child, I had glued toy airplane models together, then holding them in hand, I acted like I was flying it through the air and landing it on the ground. It was then, I started hearing about airplanes crashing. Some there were survivors and some there were not. Somehow, the fear of an airplane crept into my emotional system and it Airport Jitters 2 never left. Every time I built up the nerve to say, "I was going to take a trip on an airplane,” I heard of one crashing somewhere and that renewed my phobia of airplanes to stay away. Therefore, the fear of flying in an airplane made a home in my emotional system. In search of a solution concerning this phobia of flying in an airplane, it was determined I actually wasn’t afraid of the airplane, but I was afraid of "Death.” The airplane crashes heard throughout my life resulted in the death of many and its association to death was my fear, not the airplane. The thought of that possibility was pondered on many occasions and there was a probability of some truth to that scenario, but as a Disciple and Minister of Jesus, I came to welcome and understand death as apart of life we all must face one day. Then again, the association of airplane "crashes” and "death" could be the phobia within me and I do not desire to be on one just in case that particular one is the one that crash. Well, for the first time in my life, the woman whom I love so much and dearly was scheduled to board an airplane in route from Milwaukee to Philadelphia for a visit with me in a New Jersey State prison. We had several conversations about my airplane phobia in the past, but her confidence in traveling by airplane was safer instead of driving. Of course I said, "I had a relationship with the Dog (A Greyhound Bus)" and that was my mode of travel, but my Sweetheart and Love Bette Jo Airport Jitters 3 boarding an airplane, I could feel the heaviness of an uneasy desire creeping up within my chest. While she was enjoying her Saturday afternoon flight, I was in my room praying and watching the clock for her departing time. I was actually asking God to hold that airplane in His hand like I did when I was holding those toy model airplanes in my hand running up and down the city street. Knowing that airplane being in the hand of God, I knew nothing would happen to it. Then, I thought about the past close association discovered in me concerning airplane crashes and death. Maybe now, there was a little truth to that prior determination. I thank God I was able to have access to the phone area on my housing unit within this prison because I would be on it with Bette Jo constantly during her time of travel. When I knew the airplane had arrived, she was on the road shuttle heading to the Red Carpet hotel here in Bridgeton, New Jersey when I called. How do you spell relief? This was nothing about having acid indigestion and taking a rolaid. My Bette Jo was on the ground. After the Sunday visiting periods was all over, her overnight sleep and dreams, I believe were just as exciting as mine when thinking about our moments together. Waiting for the road shuttle to return to the hotel for pick-up heading back to the airport, there was just a thought of what I went through when she arrived here. When the time came that I knew Airport Jitters 4 Bette Jo was inside the airport, I felt that uneasiness creeping back within my chest. Three hours before her Monday’s departing time of 9:45 p.m., I talked to her with a disguised persona which only turned into a night time roller coaster ride for my emotional system. She comforted my heart with words that soothed my emotions like a cat getting its belly rubbed. That Monday night, I stayed up until 11:30 p.m. knowing my Bette Jo arrived home in Milwaukee safe and sound. I couldn’t wait until morning arrived and the start of the recreational period to begin. I called home and there was no answer. Therefore, I figured since our son Brian picked her up that night, instead of going home to our house, they went to his house and Bette Jo spent the night there. So I called her cell phone only to find she never left the airport in Philadelphia. She explained how the flight was first delayed, and then the news of the airplane having maintenance problems caused the flight to Milwaukee to be canceled. My heart seem to go to the edge of a diving board and instead of taking a running jump and diving in, it slid off into the pool. The Love of my life is now stuck in the place I never desired to be. Words couldn't come out my mouth fast enough because I started stuttering in speech, and I was awe struck in heart and mind. I felt an emotional spring pop and this is the point when Bette Jo's question, "How did you feel about me being stuck in the Philadelphia airport for two days? How did it bother you?," Airport Jitters continue to be answered. 5 On Monday night when I thought my Love was in the airplane flying home, fingernail biting was not done, pacing the floor all night wasn't even thought about, but sitting up several hours of the night happened. My focus was on our Lord protecting Bette Jo from all hurt, harm or danger which was my words of prayer, and now that is going to be redone as I wait for her to board yet another airplane. I was feeling upset and puzzled. Being in the position I'm in, I felt helpless because I could not even run to her aide. Bette Jo's laughter concerning the situation started me laughing. My inner mind speaking to my heart was saying, "God, didn't want her on that airplane," and it was all right by me. But what time was the next flight out and how long would the wait be this time. The phone calls were in 15 minute periods and spending every second with her was my prerogative. She mentioned sending two E-mails explaining the situation and after our morning phone conversation, I went to the Kiosk machine on the housing unit and logged in. Clicking to the incoming E-mails, the first one said: "After talking with you. found out flight has been delayed. We were to depart at 9:40pm, but now plane won't get into Philly till 10:30pm approx., that means departure will be around 11pm or so here EST., that means we won't get into Milwaukee till after 1 a.m. CST.. Told Brian I would take a cab home. Easier for both of us. Talk to you Airport Jitters 6 in a.m.." The second B-mail said: "Flight was finally canceled. Rescheduled for tomorrow at around noon. Get to sleep in the airport cause AA says it is beyond their control and refused to pay for hotel. So you will have to get me on my cell in morning. Don’t fret I am just pissed at AA." If I had American Airlines address, they would have received a nice little long letter with some very big words from me. Soon, I would learn the two other flights to Milwaukee were booked full and now my Bette Jo must board a flight to Charlette, North Carolina and then board another flight to Milwaukee. I said to myself, "Oh Lord, at first it was my Baby getting on just one airplane, now its two of those suckers. Is this Your way of telling me to get over my phobia?" Another day calling Bette Jo on her cell while sitting in the airport was putting my mind and emotional system in a giant nutcracker. On several occasions while talking to my Sweetheart, her laughter continued and she said, it was better to laugh than to get mad. She was right, but nevertheless, I was starting to actually see what a worry-wart looks like from the reflection of myself coming from the day-room window. Now I truly know what it means when someone says, "I’m walking on pins and needles." But turn me upside down on my head because it was all in my mind with my thoughts being pricked by those pins and needles. On Tuesday at 6 p.m., the last phone call was made to my Airport Jitters 7 Sweetness for the day and returning to my room, I sat on the bed with my right shoulder leaning against the wall. I caught myself on several occasions peeking around the shelf edge in front of me glazing at the watch to see what time it was. It bothered me to have such a wonderful time began with me putting my hot lips on Bette Jo and then two days later, steam coming from my head because she’s stuck in an airport. Thinking about the entire experience, don’t get me wrong concerning the circumstances, the information provided about the airplane having maintenance problems, thank God. But it bothered me that those determining factors created conditions which seem to put a damper on a beautiful weekend. My thoughts continued in a praying mode because if I was praying to our Lord for my Bette Jo to make it home safely, I couldn’t take her out of His hands. Anyway, I sat up until I could not conquer sleep any longer. On that Wednesday morning, wouldn’t you know that my tier was scheduled last for the use of the phones, but having a good reputation with my housing unit officer, I was on that, phone ASAP. The last feelings of being bothered was almost over as the phone rang passed the normal pick-up. Just before the mind could kick in with its heaviness on the chest feelings, Bette Jo picked up the phone. She got in late and was asleep. The phone ringing awakened her and how do you spell relief this time, "S H E'S HOM E” Airport Jitters 8 I continued using the recreational periods to call her at anytime I could because she was resting in the comfort of her own bed. Talking about the time we spent together was most precious to the both of us and we knew in our hearts what it would be like upon my homecoming. My feelings concerning the extraordinary airport and airplane experience was over and I could rest from the Father’s Day 2019 great adventure happy.