Loyalty is essential. In my life loyalty is above all else, loyalty is paramount.
All of my behaviors and former belief systems were predicated on the premise that disloyalty was tantamount to failure and destruction. I had prided myself on being loyal, and demanded it of those whom I associated with. That was to be my downfall. ‘
In 1996, I committed a crime with someone with whom I believed I could trust. I was mistaken, and my whole loyalty belief system was shaken. As luck or misfortune, (depending on how you look at it) would have it; we were caught and subsequently sent to jail.
I wasn't worried, I knew I would keep my mouth shut and believed my crime partner would do the same. Once again
Iwas proven wrong.
The police came to me with stories that my crime partner had turned on me, and put all the blame on me. I wouldn't or couldn't believe them. At the time the police were my enemies and I knew the game, say the other person turned to get you to turn and give up the other person. I asked for some real proof, I needed to read or see a statement from him giving me up. At the time the police knew that would have been a sure death sentence to my crime partnerfor his betrayal to me. The police denied my request, so with no real proofl had to believe in him.
In court they offered me a twenty—two year deal. With my misdirected sense of loyalty, I had to turn it down. If I took the deal the case would fall on my crime partner. I ended up going to trial and losing. My crime partner ended up taking an eight year deal. He put all the blame on me to save himself, my loyalty to him proved to be my undoing.
Here I sit serving a sentence of thirty—nine to life. My loyalty misguided or not, was instrumental in the outcome of that situation. From the start, to the commitment of the crime of murder, to the belief that the people that I did this for would be as loyal as I proved to be. The fact that I was loyal to the wrong people is obvious. It was a demented sense of loyalty that I had. There are and where others that deserved my loyalty far more them those that I gave mine to for all the wrong reasons.