Consuming thoughts

Consuming Thoughts by Daniel Scott 6/18. The end is near it seems. I am 30 years old and I have life with out parole. I have attempted suicide over four times. I have begun being beat by officers that want to kill me. I am trapped in confinement and I just want to go to population in a regular prison setting. I have mainly been in solitary confinement since I was 24 years old. Now I am in a mental health unit in a supermax prison. I sometimes get a phone call once a month and one visit every 3 months. I have rats as cellmates and no chance to clean my cell. I also can hardly get fingernail clippers. We get no recreation in the daytime and I cannot order coffee or other food items sold to regular population. I can't keep living like this. 24/7 in a box. I need help getting out of solitary so I don't get abused by staff or want to kill myself. If I could go to deathrow now I would to escape a life of solitary. Solitary leaves little room for hope with life out parole. I wake up in the same box with nothing but realization that I have no control of my life. I stare at dark walls that bind me and create pressure in my head. In these days I feel pain. Will this be my final place of confinement or will I ever get to population? This is a psychological challenge. My life feels like a never ending glance at doom. What shall become of me? My advice is to never come to this position in a mental health unit and never come to solitary confinement if your in prison especialy if you have life with out parole.