Faith tested

Faith Tested "You're going to UPS Tucson...that's a penitentiary." These were the words told to me in a holding cell in Raleigh, North Carolina as a shockwave of fear drove through my heart. I had just been sentenced, and while waiting in that holding cell with several other inmates, each wondering where they would be sent. some closer to home, some further away. Some to high security prisons, some to lesser. Of those of higher security, penitentiaries were the worst. Why me? Why am I going to a pen? I don't have a murder charge, never been in any gang or anything violent. Why am I being sent to a pen? I was the only guy in the holding cell destined to go to a pen... I was almost as good as dead. The guys looked at me, wondering what I could possibly do to be sentence to a penitentiary. I looked like a guy that had graduated from college... because that was true. I was not the "stereotypical inmate", yet there I was, destined to go across the country, from North Carolina to Arizona. Why not Butner, not far from Raleigh? I would have been closer to home; why put me thousands of miles from home? Fear ran throughout my body, wondering just how long I would live. So much for trusting God. So much for prayers. So much for writing all those essays in county jails for over a year, sharing with inmates that God saves, that Jesus Christ saves. So much for all that... rubbish! What was the point in all that? What did I accomplish other than just a dead end? From 2001-2010 I wrote online on numerous prison support sites and blogs for people with loved ones in prison. Over 8000 pages in that period of time, to help those with loved ones in prison. One of the phrases I constantly used was "there must always be hope." I firmly believed that you can't give up on your loved ones. But in most of these posts, I had not incorporated God's word in it. Surely, I believed in God, I had for a long time. I know God can do the impossible. But in my blogs and posts, I encouraged the reader as best I could, having had experience in prison. Because I LOVED to write, I was always sharing something about prison, or life after prison. But in late June, early May of 2010, I made a bold declaration, something I firmly believed in. I said, on my next—to-last blog, that "if people would make Jesus Christ their Lord and Savior, then appeal their case to Him, He could— and WOULD— deliver their loved one from prison. Two weeks later I ended up in county jail, and eventually sent to a Federal Prison in Tucson, Arizona. «E-«?w~«»W1a:a~tm«vd»i.d-..;Ew.em~wr@~n=g=bE*MT‘®We»»~s&u«Ja:=e., M fig) $c.{‘ K3‘/1%,‘ 513 C\ with?’ 1/“\ oiwavig +r«1m +5 Vgaug} -L-jg) SW5} .M [(9. F“0v‘*\\fi"?$6v'%) ff’ Cm B» W’ v\\‘(€§sawH‘ bfifwfifl I66:-§z.»‘!6r‘\ \}€m«€‘_;- Gr’3€1Hen -Wstm 5’-Xe?‘ gggtugg “):)<.+1v‘\, ‘)1-Wtfian & § hie, ¢\) ,4<~)a"£“:k?Ja’;£f* MM’ CM!" med) eun wt ‘'34 /\m,[ ole: L7 0. . : -5‘~‘A \ R5 men'f\aMc1’,T 5% ‘H wfxkx Osi‘f‘!\/-€€‘\( 5"\M-*5 M US? Tx.x:.§¢;,r) 5‘/\ Dfifgmét ‘7’5'\ 30‘; ad :3‘ wut‘ !*~‘5+’V} 5189-H 4%: mM‘‘@. Q 3auIr~.€U. Ffem "f\“'\ 4%) \‘W", 30%) Tve. §mL}l+V\ 423.51%;-9‘ 3%,- (NR7. TVL afsa wrifififi exiw‘ /00 shark e%>sa~p 9%) ohm‘ 9%..) M1» ,. Q“/A‘ 7 er . 7 M E3 "#9 39+ YE.’-'l§tU‘) WW) k‘/I543 $?‘é‘1.“a WW Mg %'3V*'”‘.’v! of OK (.L¥{;‘i'€,"* ‘A fg}(;,\_ €\}.«;n'+-- 5%’ {L %‘”°‘)\'”t°N’ fiww’ MM MW m’N“ °’i$‘“*'e~ M‘-M" <1? *»‘~’‘W‘Tl‘ 7; «33“3\s‘%?€. :5 £¢t3€¢#‘>6/\ {A mwix MW ;~.,$§Q),‘%{ Q‘!"(fla) flgpg ..wl\m mam; IS IV«f°'€,.\~ V (_I'm\\:, »H~c-% 5&7 -!%§§)z:.; 9? 45:5 Wméfix, wafrt cm miirfiuftamg iaakéawm b¢?Te€»<:e.«M(9.,, M ,.\,M,_,4g wad KGIFM §}:e!a .I Q3§urfib*l'éH/, “M-I as ‘v’§3‘/ ram é\%:«’¥..> 86 MM‘ :9 WMA 5;; =,,».;»M»e_ cvltal; :Ml~. m ) m«.LMI..%v hm u.\+:¥\t Fri “/Afis r‘ee;¢;§_»;,.§ an NA‘ ‘M @5552: wrvki Np 0-"*.g,;*="‘5‘*!§~.*j I 4‘\av\J3~~..‘° »:§M.L§,. wxrk ‘Fr; Ckr\>1‘tm\ Q4“ M,,:MMag w~o\ C¥~w*U'*%‘.a r Qupfcrf; ml C1e€t*%.,&j***%'-*¢tfiAf¢%,. b-’( Iva %w~¢9 456+’ as gvuwzf as maeafi mg»-2 $1?»/49:’ +4 3%’? Carixfiéfistzn “avm5e on *§?%—~ Wméeeeam " ?€effi~5a "“’5‘¢4 W 53¢?“ éségfi M #2 *02r E»fa:E%n ”>‘Ff’ "1 ‘W““’€ 5:?‘ ‘ ax f51o3;i3¢'V er %',.;)e;;t‘c’=*\?Yt&3». jfvfi Wvxfivfi =Q\§e’-§” M {>黧%) \"Mia.r~22:\. "300!"‘3€1\0)mu,(J\ 13 53:5’ 0‘AIEr"v€«- U: qbg {Vat , I m..,;)3.v~e.. 36: q5aaw§* £380 fpju €*;5*‘?‘ Ara} Ws€:”7 éw flfirét 1.3 Rug“ L k , . -’,. _‘ -Q _ _ H _ EA‘'‘‘‘°°"’Q‘‘“ ‘3 "* *7 3‘ “W 9‘ "*1 {“‘e%‘.*-‘T e$3m*~gS.‘ § fiwzfia T€“:fx=:k‘.:¢( . '’.W':: W. 9 '.€3»E;’9;?._§ aft :3: 4}“: ;;?'\Q:N:;§—V)€%5‘** 4‘W““:3 ’?>*dnJ 1..;éa:;a\~«»~. I wmck fovt “hi c3a%:$§f& MMH5 ow.) . -A - €» .. 7 "'"‘ 3"“, ?"3“"~‘) FM 1‘ J or Seévws‘ s2%r§»e;A“+ag4‘égA; ant) mic <;’£.z‘«’;‘r’ 7/-(L h§§%~:» ask E~v'\»‘il+. M1 H’‘‘’‘‘‘‘&‘’ 3;“ ‘‘9*’‘5j~‘’‘*‘3 M? “kl kept» "5 Rear‘ (‘mm rm5¢r*& wan. "/\)§“\ an &£?::‘~;r'QMo(' §‘3i<«r&,.,> lvé,» Ezwzéi 2 mm} 3:. fggrszi §~.¢;.§»» x &1"“°F‘W3e— 5f%a%P%$%= %