For as long as I could remember, life has always provided me with not just unedited truth

Scott, Jovon



For as long as I could remember, life has always provided me with not just an edited truth of false perceptive depictions of society. But it enabled me to fail and armed me with the tools to fall victim to circumstances that prepared me for prison. I never wanted to indulge in the depths of society that was made up of drugs, violence and wild gangs. But, I was never given an opportunity to chose my path either. I'm being judged for survival and struggle, where your everyday life consist of nothing but manifested acts you take in through your adolescence. So, Right from wrong becomes based on your essentials of not just survival- but your living. It's narrative in which creates this fabric of most individuals lives in urban society is based upon a bias and misunderstood chapter- that's read to the masses of class of people, that's culturally separated by economical and intellectual borders. My 29 years of existence had been well earned and many endeavors to derail my dwellings have casted a shadow of paranoia and fear, that made me more aggressive and unpredictable in aspects of acts committed in both the past and future. Prison has the ability to elevate your aggression into relentless levels of rage and push your sanity on the brink certain anger. This environment makes you aggressive and the lack of a moral compass would guide you down a path of destructive conquest that'll forever break your journey of inner peace and external tranquility. Your hatred becomes stirred with anxiety, pain, sorrow and other emotions that'll concoct a catastrophic failure in your psyche. You'll become cut off from reality and placed in the realms of uncertainties. I gravitated to the gang culture and embraced the teachings and aid it provided me mentally, because it was all I knew. My push of encouragement came from the criminal minded acts that propelled me through the gratification enlisted by others around me. You can live a lie for so long that, that very fabrication becomes a mold of truth in your mind and you'll find your self questioning who you are. That's when you side with the person that's more accepted by society. You lose yourself and forget who you really are while traveling a journey of gaining the knowledge of self. Then you throw religion in the mix of your chaotic atmosphere- now you're really confused and twisted beyond repair. Writing gives me an escape and helps me cope with this pain. I create worlds in my writings and I make peace with who I were and the person I am now- is imprisoned by the false narratives that sentenced him to life in an edited reality. Forever the Writer

Author: Scott, Jovon

Author Location: Illinois

Date: March 23, 2018

Genre: Essay

Extent: 3 pages

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