From my life, to prison life

Morgan, Robert Eric

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From My Life, To Prison Life I've been locked up since 1998 for Burglary's and other drug related crimes. All my crimes was committed to support a drug habit. I had a very hard childhood growing up. I was sexually abused by 3 family members. I was raised in a physically abusive home. My step dad was an alcoholic and abusive to me and my mother. My grandmother and grandfather got custody of my sister at a young age. My brother died around 18 months old from brain damage at birth. I believe my up bringing is what lead to my childhood outbursts and all the mental hospitals I was put into as well as the group homes, juvenile boot camps, detention centers, me dropping out of high school in the 9th grade to do construction work and everyone that I worked around was drug addicts. This is when my addiction first started. It started with my drinking beer, then went to smoking pot, and on to smoking crack. I lost my job, then that's when I started stealing to support my addiction. I went to jail so many times the judge got tired of dealing with me so he sent me to prison to scare me but prison was fun to me and I didn't think it was scary. I made shock probation and I stayed out for 2 years and 8 months and some days. So then I got my 10 year probation revoked in 2001 with more charges added so I took a plea deal that turned my 10 year sentence into 17 years. So I was back in prison with 17 years and that was in 2001. I stayed locked up from 2001 until 2008, that's when I made parole. I stayed out for 6 months and 18 days with even more charges. So I then turned a 17 year sentence into 25 years. I took another plea deal. I've never had any evidence based drug treatment but I've served almost 17 years of my life in prison. I've not got any better, just worse. Since I've been in prison I've been sexually abused, stabbed, and almost killed, jumped for taking up for a friend. Since I've went through all these things I've been in prison and I've become violent, resentful toward staff and inmates. I'm full of hatred and rage. On 9-11-2016 I was ganged by 5 inmates and was stabbed over 17 times. All this happen because a so called friend was being extorted. He was forced to give up his mental health medication to the inmate that was abusing him. For me taking up for him they attacked me and tried to kill me, just because I got into their business and took up for the guy. At this time the prison was 60% below staffing and the staff wasn't doing their jobs that they was getting paid to do. So I tried to get them to stop and put a stop to it all and I almost lost my life. My attorney is working on a a lawsuit against the prison. Prisons in Kentucky are very corrupt and closed off to the outside world and when someone from the outside comes in the prison they clean the prison up and the inmates don't get to talk to the people who comes inside. This is 2017 and I'm at K.S.P. in Eddyville, KY prison and we are currently on lock down because a group of inmates got tired of how the staff was treating the inmate population, so 16 inmates beat up 8 of the worst officers here at Eddyville. In the first 6 days of being on lock down we've had one shower, no hot meals, just cold cuts. The staff here at Kentucky State Penitentiary have real bad communication skills. They really don't know how to deal with people that have mental health issues. I really don't know the exact number but if I had to guess I'd say that 85% or more of the prison population suffer from mental illness and a lot of the inmates suffer from serious mental health illness. Kentucky, D.O.C. staff don't care about us, and they tell us this all the time and they show it as well. This prison is under investigation for killing an inmate on 4-25-17 and is getting away with it. The Ky DOC is good at covering up stuff in prison. I think it's funny how when something happens in prison then when the news media gets involved it's always the prison administration's side of the story and they never get the other side, which is always the inmate's side. Logically there is 3 sides to every story, your side, their side, and the truth! Now, they never get our side because they know we'll expose the truth about how they run the place in here. The only side that gets put out there is their side because the reason being is to save the prison administration from getting into trouble. When you get lied on, we request the camera and the staff says in reply "it's inoperable" and their reason for saying that is to cover up for their lies. I've been through hell inside these walls. I deserve to serve time for my crimes and not to be punished and abused. I need reform care, education, mental health treatment, drug treatment, and life skills to make me better for society but I'm not getting it in here. I've beat my head on doors to the point where my eyes have been swollen shut. I've tried killing myself. I use to like cutting my arms as a release of my pain. I've seen inmates eat their own feces, cut their arms, and almost bleed out and die. I've seen inmates hang and kill their self. I've even seen inmates jump off their sink and paralyze their self. Inmates jump over the 2nd floor railing trying to kill their self and it only broke every bone in their bodies. Inmates setting their selves on fire, having unprotected sex and passing Hep A.B.C., Hiv, Aids, and the bad thing about it is the prison knows it's going on and don't prevent it. You have many inmates making homemade needles to shoot drugs through their arms and legs. The bad thing is inmates are passing these needles around for other people to use they are doing the same thing with their tattoo needles. They treat sex offenders like they've never broke any of the laws. I don't choose to talk to sex offenders cause the mess that they cause to people's mind sets because they'll either do to others what was done to them if they don't get treatment or they end up in prison for something else cause they've got so much anger build up then they just snap and eventually lose their cool. But is what gets me the most is the way they treat sex offenders in here and on the streets. They get less time then any other crime seems like. I'm not gonna say any names but I live next to a guy that molested his niece throughout her whole life then come to find out he killed her cause she was gonna tell her parents, then it comes to the light that he was molesting 3 other little 6 yrs old girls and he only gets 20 years at 85%. I broke into some houses to support a drug habit and I get 25 yrs for it. The Kentucky Criminal Justice System is broken. There is just NO justice in the Ky System. This is just literally torture and a form of slavery. Over 2 million inmates locked up in the U.S. A. Almost all of them comes from poor backgrounds but the prisons are making all kinds of money off our poor families! Our families and friends is who does the hardest part of our time and no one can make me believe that the Ky System is the best in the U.S.A.! Prison population is still big and getting even bigger, prison spending is out of control. They spent a 1/2 billion dollars last year on the Ky. Prison System and nothing got any better. They invest a 1/2 billion on mental health treatment and evidence based treatment programs and quit letting inmates sit in prison and get high, and have gay unprotected sex, gamble, play games. and con games, everywhere we turn, extortion, sexually abusing each other, elderly abuse, sex offender abuse, CD player, Ipads, loan sharking, little to no programs. We have no hands on educational training. If the Ky System was without all the fun and was made to work or do programs all day and prison was run more like boot camps, something that will teach these guys work ethics, like start up a chain gang like back in the day. Because they way the National Prison System is being run in the U.S.A. is why recidivism is so high and no one is getting better and 90% of inmates in the U.S.A. is due for release in the future. I see and hear inmates sit around and talk about criminal activity all the time. Here is a question, Tax payers is the solution to crime in your neighborhoods? It's the drugs and alcohol in your area's is why 90% of crimes even occur in your communities. On 6-6-17 they locked my friend up and put him in the hole just for smiling, since these 8 officers was assaulted. Things will only get a lot worse for inmates and staff. This man was locked up for smiling and for being black and he got called all kinds of "motherfuckers" he got man handled on the way to the hole, then they wonder why inmates have NO respect for "staff, cops, and officers." I've been locked up going on 17 years and I dislike cops, staff, and officers because they abuse their authority and like to push people and inmates around. This Ky System has done so much to so many people they cause us to hate them. You can respect them and they'll still disrespect you and give you a reason to not respect them. They've done things to me and the way they've treated me I have the absolute right to dislike them. Is what it comes down to is Ky System is corrupt. These people are suppose to reform us not do the opposite. These inmates are just as corrupt and this is why I say that, if they don't like you and they know your getting ready to see the parole board they'll write a foul nasty letter in your name just to get you where you don't go home. The reason I know that is cause they did it to me, and that's why I was flopped. The bad thing is it was proven that it wasn't me or my hand writing and they didn't change their minds when I appealed it so I get to suffer for someone else's wrong doing, but it's the story of my life. I'm kind of use to it, but it's wrong. But yeah, they sent the letter out under my name as if I was the one that sent it out in the mail! Here in KY they go off of hear say. For example, "if I was to kill a person ad tell them I seen you do it and I'd testify in court that I seen you do it then you'll get convicted of it". That isn't how it should be. But these inmates will plant knives in your bag and plant one in your cell and then go tell a staff member and they you'll go to the hole for something you had no control over! They do it to get you out of the way or because they don't like you or they just don't want you around or cause they're scared of you. There is no unity between the inmates anymore, in KY it's a dog eat dog world. No one wants to stick together anymore and it don't make any sense to me, none! No one has to be violent, but stand up for what's right. All people has to do is sit down on them and not do nothing for them and that creates change and the KY System don't like change. The Ky inmates ain't like any other hard core states and federal prison across the world or country. I've never been a violent person but these places will make you violent and full of hate and even ragefulness. I've been locked up as a child my whole life, I'm 37 years old and I've probably spent 8 yrs of my life in the free world. There isn't much help in these places. I suffer from serious mental health issues and no one will treat me while I'm inside of prison. I'm antisocial, intermittent explosive disorder, Bi-polar, O.C.D., major depression, anxiety, mood disorder. I've had many suicide attempts, a lot of self harm write ups. But I'm refused mental health treatment every time I apply. I've seen inmates gang rape other inmates, rapes, rapes because people try to say you're a rat, I've seen it where rapists and child molesters be sleeping in their rooms and 5 inmates run in their cells and steal all their stuff and beat them up. But just because someone is convicted of a crime don't mean they did it. Unless I hear admission of guilt pass their lips then I'm in NO place to pass any type of judgement. Honestly, even if I know the facts of their case it's NOT my place to judge them. I just stay away from them and to myself "Judge not, and least you'll be judged." I'm no better then the next person but I don't deserve to be treated this way! It's a complete shame that this is the best we can do to make these inmates better for society. All KY knows is warehousing inmates and punishment and that don't make no one any better! Now, what happens when you take a dog and put it on a long chain in a back yard with no room to run, not much food, or clean water? One day it'll go mad and end up hurting someone if it don't die first. That is the same thing with a inmate. We've got a dog program at this prison and they are treated 10 times better then the inmates. We as a society put values on a animal or a dog's life and well being, then a human. For example, it's wrong and against the law to fight dogs, but it's okay for two humans to get into a boxing or UFC ring and beat each other's brains out. I've got a 9th grade education and mainly self taught on everything I know, but I'm very smart and I see this stuff and the world around me and I think how messed up we as a society really are. I'm in complete permanent protective custody because of me being ganged by 5 inmates and being stabbed over 17 times, they're in fear of my life so I stay locked in a small cell 22 hrs from Mon-Fri and 24 hrs lock down on the weekends. Now I ask anyone who reads this what does this teach a non-violent drug addict with mental issues? Nothing I respond, it only makes a person even worse like the dog in the back yard. I fully understand it's wrong to commit crimes, however it's also wrong to lock a person up until they go mad and their society is asking why these inmates get out and commit worse crimes, it's because no one cares until after the fact, but I blame the government and prison staff and officers because we are just a number and pay check to all these people in authority over us instead of working with us to help us better our selves, but they don't they would rather just sweep us under the rug until our release. I have a little faith in humanity, that is the only reason I have got any care or hope. Otherwise I'd just lose my mind and seek revenge, but I know that's not the answer. I'd LOVE to be apart of the prison reform movement and I'd also like to see prisons more open, to shed light on the corruption and mistreatment of human life conditions is very bad where I'm at. I've only had one shower in over a week because 16 inmates beat up some corrupt officers, can't do any legal work, it's hot as hell outside and no working air conditioner, black mold and medical won't do nothing about it. Black mold exposure can kill from long term exposure. We really need people to come in the KY prison system but do it unannounced and see this and talk to the inmates one on one. Hear these people's story, and what they've been through and everything they've saw and seen. This is the only way to get the answers to change this mess they call reform by prison warehousing. Just spend some time with these inmates. Show love, care, consideration, just work with them to better educating them with evidence based education. This is my story at least some of it, after this is printed I'll write more to this, I can go on and on, but I can only write 15 pages or 5,000 words for the "American Prison Writing Archive" I'd like this to be listed under my real name, Robert Eric Morgan K.S.P. 266 Water Street Eddyville, KY 42038 If you can't list my real name and info just leave it untitled but I would prefer my info to be put out there, and anyone can feel free to write me or email me at www.jpay.com. Thanks for reading and for your time... Wrote by, Robert E. Morgan

Author: Morgan, Robert Eric

Author Location: Kentucky

Date: August 3, 2017

Genre: Essay

Extent: 14 pages

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