Hello my name is Robert Joe Segovia

Segovia, Robert Joe, Jr.

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Robert Segovia, Jr. California Dear, Read's Hello my name is Robert Joe Segovia Jr. I am 34 years old and I just spent my 20th birthday straight of being incarcerated. I was 14 years old when I was arrested charge with first degree murder with the use of a firearm with street gang activity. I was tried as a adult. The first in the state of California at 14 years old. From the time of my arrest till I was convicted was 5 years 6 months I was offered a plea deal of 24 years but no time serve or time credit. I thought about it. My life and if I ever wanted to get out again so I sign the deal. I knew by that time God had a plan for me I knew I would have to pay for my sin's so now I am going on my 20th year and Id like to share the story of my life where I come from where I've been, where I'm going, who I was, who I am and who I want to be. I come from a gang back round my parents are both ex-gang members. They used and sold drugs had guns, drank and partyed just about every night I grew up seeing people coming in and out of my home all day and night. I would see my mother and father fighting over drugs and money. When I was 7 years old one day my Dad was really high on P.C.P he beat my mother to death Luckily he snap out of it and he made me help him start doing CPR on her and we saved her life, that has stayed with me because 5 years before his younger brother had been high on PCP and killed his wife, so I've always thought about it how close my father came to taking my mother away. I've seen my father get shot in front of me and later on that night my mother had to take the bullet out of him because he couldn't go to the hospital he was on parole and under the influence. Not to long after that he was arrested for shooting someone, so it was me, my Mother and two younger brothers we were on welfare and food stamps, plus my Mother still had to sell drugs. Now she was single so there was more partys, more guys, fights and shootings, that's all I seen. So that's what I wanted to do I wanted to be a cholo, I thought it was cool. I remember we use to play a game called gangsters when I was a kid and I wanted to go to prison because that's where my Dad was my uncle's and cousins. I never did good in school I could not read or write, I was always in trouble I started smoking weed huffing gas and paint and glue. I got arrested the first time when I was 9 years old for stealing I got put on probation then I got arrested again at 11 years old for braking in to a liquor store my friends told me to go in because I was the smallest but when the cops came I was the only one there I got more probation. After that I was jump in to my gang, I was the youngest and they made me feel like I was spical, they showed me their gun's let me shoot them bought me stuff gave me money and drug's anything I wanted they gave me, Everybody loves the youngster I remember getting shot at I was with 2 of my homeboys who were in their 20's and when it happen I didn't get scared, So I got respect for that. Well after later that night we go eat go buy some cloth's, pick up some gun's and we went to a park and we are sitting there and they told me we are going to turn you in to a killer Robert. They gave me a gun and said when we need you to do this for us, will you, and I said yes I ain't scared. One night about a year 1/2 later we found out a guy, from a different gang was close by so me and 3 of my homeboys who were all over 21 walk over there, I knock on the door and went inside the guy we were looking for was in the livingroom laying down I could see that he was kind of scared that I was in the house so I told him lets go outside to the street I turn around walk out and my homeboy is waiting for me he hands me some glove's then a gun and said you know what to do. Has soon has he walks outside I start shooting, I got arrested for murder 5 hours later 2 of the guys with me the older "homeboys" told on me I've been lock up ever since May 10th 1995. I think about it now all these years later how I took someones life his name was Matthew and he was only 18 year's old he didn't deserve that, I hurt his family, I killed some one for nothing, I ruined so many lives, it feels like I've lived 2 different lives I can't even believe that was me, what was I thinking, why did I do that. And to add to it little did I know that at time my girlfriend who is now my beautiful wife was pragnat but because of the stress and depression I cause to her she had a miscarriage so not only did I take a young mans life not only did I kill one person I am responsible for the death of my own child. I ruin the life's of my victims family I ruin my family, my girlfriend and her family. I caused so much pain and hurt and loss to so many people. You don't realize who's affected by what you do till it's to late. Everything you do affects not just you but everyone who love's you everyone that loves the people you hurt. It took me a long time to realize that you are not just living for your self there's hundreds of lives that can be change forever for your mistake's, they will all suffer. You don't think about your mother father brothers sisters spouses children or all your victims family his mother his father his sisters, brothers, its so many people. I've spent a lot of years away from the people who love me and I know how much I hurt them, I can't even imagine what my victims family has been through. And now I look back almost 20 years later and I see how stupid it all was the gangs the drugs what a mess I made what a waist of life. I wish I would of listen in school, listen to the people who did try to help me. I know its not too late but was taking someone's life and 20 years of my own worth it. The answer is no not even a little I regret it I'm sorry. I'm sorry to every person I hurt and cause pain to. I can never bring Matthew back I cant change what I did but I can learn from it and maybe help someone avoid the same mistake's I made. Every day now I know is a gift and I try to better my self I know no one else will do it for me I've learn so many things how to read how to write I finish school and enrolled my self in college I play the guitar and I've just open my mind to the world, it isn't about guns gangs and drugs no more its about my wife starting a family teaching kids even in here showing young guys that theres more to life than 4 walls and hurting people. I can honestly say now that I have learn from my mistakes, I have learn that life is what you make of it, So be careful be smart about the choices you make in life be mindful of your actions before its to late and you end up hurting every person that love's you and hurting other people and hurting your self. So has I close whoever should read my story young or old boy or girl man or woman. Think about how everything you do can change so many lives for the better or the worse, it's always your choice you can say no to the guns, drugs, gang's. Everyone of us know's right from wrong, and you don't want to have to learn the hard way like me, I made the wrong choice and I will pay for it not just with the 20 years I've spent incarcerated but for the rest of my life I will live knowing that I killed someone for no reason. That was my wrong choice what will be yours? Or will you make the right one its all up to you and only you. Sincerely, Robert Joe. Segovia Jr. Transcribed: 2017-04-30

Author: Segovia, Robert Joe, Jr.

Author Location: California

Date: September 13, 2014

Genre: Essay

Extent: 10 pages

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