My goal with this short story is to leave something for my son to read and analyze and for other people to study Men's favorite subject "Mi Kassino" women the female mind as characters and like I said when it comes to my Kassino it does not apply. It's what I've been through with my Pop's hope it help's you understand that without women life isn't that good at least for me, and my Pop's it was fun while it lasted and it's what I learned. So if you know me or him you would smile At this story, and figure out that it was all good in the end till I see you again I'll take what I learned and teach my son my Life's lesson have A place for me were ever you are cause thats were I'll end up from your 4 son's Love you Pop's
Sept. 14. 2005
Color Him Father
By: The Winstons
To: My Kassino you are all cause you are the #1 just like Im the #1
Big Tres xoxo
Things I've learned from my Pop's and growing up "Human Nature" He always told me and my 3 brother's "Solitos Callen" "By there self's they fall" something he believed in and something I live by. We fall or [succumb?] to our own actions or beliefs, I learned this along the way. I've also learned or live by these certain rules of life, Never argue, Never complain, Never lie, Alway's humble yourself, Rely on what you know and nothing else believe it as not these things I've learned helped me to overcome a lot in my life. I'm going on 21 years in custody and counting, not proud of it and there is some regret but I did what I did and I've done my time, I've been up and down California Prison System even to Texas Department of Criminal Justice, S.H.U. and level 4 living with a lot of Ad-Seg time met lots of people from all areas of California, besides wasting my 20s and 30s I learned a lot about people and myself and why we do or fall right back into what got us here besides drug's and necessity, spitefulness against law enforcement believing its them to blame.
Although some have been wrongly accused or incarcerated, others haven't, I now know why they know everything I've done to sum it up Secret Service, satellite invading the sphere of the intellect. Military tactic mind reading technology used to control and manipulate using signal to the brain. The brain runs on 9 volts of electricity and conducts this signal after 39 years I'm now aware of this technology hard to believe I'm or was that important to F.B.I, D.E.A and A.I.F. this technology is called Census Deprivation an illegal practice not to be used on Civilians or P.O.W.s these are things I've been through in the 39 years I've been on this earth and have brought me to write about my experience my goal with this short story is to help you recognize certain things we overlook or pay no mind to in our every day life what I believed to be mental illness does exist, noise over the airwave's also does, what I believe to be hearing voices was sonar technology vibrations as a electric signal bounced off a metal surface or conductor, that little voice in my head wasn't my alter ego but a signal from a satellite although its hard to believe the technology is old here's what I know the satellite was Russia's then Japan's it was used in Pearl Harbor to control suicide bombers not remote control plane's then Saddam used it to control and push his beliefs suicide bombers then the United States confiscated it, but now its banned to use Guantanamo Bay, cruel and unusual punishment although its always been used, it is now being abused to control and manipulate citizens of Kern County, back to my book excerpt how I've overcome abuse of power. Psychology and Psychiatry "Human Nature", I grew up catholic, then christian, then [Mexica?], those are my religious beliefs but I've learned never to push my beliefs on anyone the same goes for politics. It's in my nature to learn, even though everything I learned I had to figure out on my own my Pop's was a big factor in my life and when he died Sept 14 2005 my life changed like I said he believed by these self's we all fall, I didn't know what he meant till later in life I would just stare at him and agree to disagree, I seen this saying play out so many times I cant count it I believed it to be karma of the Cosmos I now believe it to be the satellite that makes things happen either for good or bad for every action theres a reaction or was it man made? Something I now call into question due to me knowing what I know about "Secret Service" and the technology wants used on "Humans" I learned people's actions are not always their own or a super natural force some are not consciously aware of things done at the spur of the moment, moments of unawareness, when you cant recall a action or event momentary blindness, so caused by rage or sudden action or danger, or could it be your heart responding to the cause of action high blood pressure what ever the cause keep in mind the satellite invades your six senses, even blood flow and heart rate by electrical signal, man made or mental illness? It's for you to come to terms with or decide, for me its a combination of both a signal sent to me by satellite and a choice, consciously made, the temporary blindness, I cant figure it out, it isn't my subconscious cause I can still hear and remember the lights going out, I just cant see maybe I closed my eyes tight, a natural reaction to loud noise these things Ive learned by going through them my Pop's made me figure out everything myself by not telling me the answer but the wrong one or contradicting his self for instance he told me he hated liars, but told lie after lie or as he called it exaggerated. So now I hate liars and only tell the truth due to my decision not to be a liar, I now believe he led me to that decision consciously by making me aware people can tell when your lying just like I could tell, I've also learned never complain due to people already knowing what they know and its not being kind or polite to go against someone's belief of what they know, it can cause confrontation or disagreement better to not say nothing and let them learn for there selfs the same goes for arguing can cause discontent and not only its a waste of time but of energy for a lot of people its a way of communicating their point of view to others, not only is it rude but can get you more than what its worth, assuming its also something thats not good I've come across several of those although the world revolves around you everyone isn't aware of that as for my Kassino its the total opposite and if you were to see her or knew her you would know why it doesnt apply to her, but for others assuming could be caused by egotism, the belief that the whole world is against them or watching them it manifests itself as a mental illness or by guilt, deceit or a lying tongue, [grandiose?] ego, super ego are also causes, be aware that people who assume can strike at any moment physically or verbally, schizophrenia is also a cause the belief that everyone is talking or plotting about you , very dangerous to be around try to stay away but not ignore, being humble has helped me out with 90% percent of my problems its not easily learned and has taken years to practice especially in prison where its fight fist talk later I had to learn how not to react or overreact dont get me wrong, when confronted with violence there's no other choice, but to those who dont approach with violence its best to humble yourself No one's life is worth yours especially over their misunderstanding or belief of the truth, dont be quick to judge but listen to these words and body language it can save you a trip to Ad.Seg or the S.H.U. but whatever you do humble yourself let them do all the talking after all its not you with the misunderstanding until they prove their point dont judge or come to a conclusion. He might be right or she might be right most of the time she's always right, humbleness can give you more understanding like listening, being open minded is also helpful even though people know what they know you can always learn something new, A closed off person most of the time does nothing but disagree and argue, stubborn, not giving when it comes to a relationship or friendship thinks everyone owes them and isn't pleasant, greediness is also a sign, boastful, overzealous.
Open minded people are their opposite and are fun to be around especially in bed their personalities are giving, well liked and always willing to have fun free spirited and enjoy meeting new people they let their selves be led to a certain point. Their usually smarter than what they let on unlike closed off people as argumentative they never seem to get the "hint" they are uncomfortable to be around and are hard to look in the eyes unlike my Kasino who I cant help but to get lost in her sexy brown eyes full of emotion and life the kind that melted my heart with one look I thought her gun was dangerous till I seen her thighs I hope she gets the "hint" just like the slip of the tongue it always reveals a persons true intent especially coming from a woman like my Pops said "La Langua Castiga" the tongue punishes but also can sooth when with the right woman. My Pop's taught me a lot about women he was a pornstar a womanizer did what he wanted with them and made me the total opposite, I asked myself why these beautiful women would let themselves be treated like that if I would do anything for them put butlers on whoever made me a lover of women a ladies man Im now understanding why I'm just as violent as him but for different reasons alot alike but way different I learned to respect him late in life still learning from him and understanding women aint as helpless as I thought them to be women learn early in life how to get their way, they have some men at their feet willing to prove their manhood for those thick sexy legs and beautiful eyes with those eyelashes and beautiful smile, I'm the first to admit to fall prey making me wonder who's stronger me or her smile, so you can see how women make me feel a wave of emotions controlled by you so much power was given to them to control and manipulate me in every way or is it just your beautiful face that God blessed you with since the topic is women I cant help but praise you its "Human Nature" for a man to want a woman and make her his, besides physical altercation some buy them gifts as for me after their done fighting and giving them gifts, I give them a wet French kiss on their lips, I've been around a lot of pornstar females so I know what they do besides keep secrets from their boyfriends and girlfriend once in a while you find one who tells the truth its very rare they all cheat and if they say they don't thats the worst one, every man wants to believe they don't, so every woman takes advantage of that men are victims of their pride they believe no one can love then like he does but what I learned from women its just like we like more than one so do they its also much harder for a woman to orgasm leaving men insecure and inadequate and defensive which brings me back to my Pop's and me thinking women are defenseless, I believe now the reason they always came around was they were willing participants, living the same lifestyle I still feel the same when it comes to women I still will do anything for them what we don't know wont hurt us or what I do know wont hurt me. When a woman's truthful I find myself more comfortable and able to enjoy myself, but for most men they find it upsetting and become angry. As for me, sex is something to enjoy and be open about, especially with the opposite sex. If a woman doesn't give herself completely she isn't yours and is hiding something, I can go on forever speaking about women and how they make me feel doesn't mean they feel the same. But it also doesn't ruin my love for them, after all we only allow what we like or want, just like I said the truth is beautiful and a lie is ugly. You feel cheated, and you will spend the next couple years trying to get the truth, but for some it is the opposite you'll spend the next couple years trying to hide the truth, Not giving yourself "completely." For me not worth it. The truth is women are beautiful and a relationship is what the 2 of you put into it. Love is only fun when its returned. Its not fun being the only one in love, its a lot to understand but its what I've been through and a real relationship is something I've never had. For me its not possible living the lifestyle I live, so I'll take what I'm not supposed to get.
My Book Excerpt
By Big Tres
"Never jump to conclusions"
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