I must say I am glad to be given a chance

X, Chris

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Transcript

Page 1# Dear Reader(s) (2nd essay) I must say I am glad to be given a chance to give others a chance to see inside of the Maryland Prison System. I'm not sure if compassion, anger, or doubt will be the end result. I care in a sense that I wish you would believe me, then on the other hand I don't because it is I who... Play the mental health professional to those who I consider to be a friend. It is me who hears my friends with worse issues than me banging their heads to stop the thoughts. What him and I share is the knowledge that most of the positions for mental health in this prison and social norker are vacant. The education I seek is reading the Newspaper and seeing ads for websites and programs like this. The Blackstone Institute and Bible College came to me by a friend and the Prison Legal Newspaper. I have not had 1# Program in my whole 4 years of being in North Branch made available to me. The waiting list are years long even when I am allowed in General Population. The Disabilities Rights of Maryland did a survey on North Branch Correctional Institution and Other Institutions and yet the conditions are still the same. The Convicts still suffer. The Guards on the floor suffer. The administrative brass over a Sergant are the ones who are dealt a healthy dose of "satisfaction lemonade". It is here on administrative Segregation and Disciplinary seg that I have become even more "angry". It is here in North Branch that I have found "hate". It was here that I came to the Cumberland region to realize that my hate stood for ("Having Animosity Towards Enemies). It is here in Page 2# my cell where I know that I can live or die. It is here in this moment that I beg you to see that I need to deliver these words to you. No longer wanting to drink, or smoke to escape reality. No longer feeling the need to tell my love ones I'll be home soon. No longer feeling a sense of failure because this is my bottom. No longer ashamed to say I don't know but sometimes I do care. No longer afraid to ask for help in my writings. "Help?" I seen that it was stated the "Challenges of Physical and Psychological Survival". I struggle with the latter, yet the other I admit I have participated more in as the victimizer than the victim. The Psychological survival of surviving and committing the Psych vs Physical has left something inside of me broken to the Point that I'm afraid to say I'm not afraid. How do you give advice to somebody who should be giving it to you? I am not so gone that I don't realize that People like me are a threat to society and the Prison Population. I have only been asked to defend myself after my action(s). I have never been asked what does Rehabilitation look like to me. I have only been given what the Officials here are Permitted to give me by Policy and not Gods decree. I have realized once you are forced to sit and fester in hate, anger, and the unknown it makes one Question wether they are alone in the Pointing of the finger. Many convicts that I know are more than willing to be accountable for their actions but I have yet to see Officials who are willing to openly own up to their mistakes before they're given a Page 3# sanction if any. If I should Pass and Go on I would need the reader(s) to feel my Pain. I would say "Pinch Yourself" in this moment so that you and I can share the birth of Chances. If you should read this I would want you to know that my name is Christopher Reginald Cox and anything I do I say and do with Pride at this Point in my life. I beg of the reader(s) to know and use all of the advantages to you because not every Person is Guilty in Prison like me. I was Guilty of being "Asinine" and feeding off of "Insanity". It is now that I tell the Reader(s) that "Anything above a whisper is considered the Public's Information". Yours Truely: Christopher "Chris" coX 02/29/2020

Author: X, Chris

Author Location: Maryland

Date: February 29, 2020

Genre: Essay

Extent: 3 pages

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