If someone would of asked me

Martinez, Brandon



August 16, 2010 If someone would have asked me, do you think you could survive a life sentence? I surely couldn't even imagine the strength I would need from every crack and crevice of my soul, to survive up against the most insurmountable odds. Where bodies have dropped on a constant basis. In such a dismal place it don't make the breaking news. No matter how severe and intense the situation. When our heads are hung low, the administration is satisfied about it. Out of sight, out of mind keeps the heart content. But every now and then from the trenches of despair will emerge a decent individual. A person with a heart and compassion for their fellow man. Although it is scarce to find. If you look beyond the stigma, beneath the thorns in their flesh, you will find, oh you will find someone who cares. Because from every fabric of our being, prisoner to prominent member of society, there exists a spirit of the Lord within. Just an inkling is enough. Enough to sustain through the storm. Though the rain, enough to endure tolerance to the madness. How could you still be here. 16 years since the inception of your incarceration every step you took. Every move you made, they were rooting for you to fail. Hoping you would give up in discouragement. Locked all in the cut waiting for the day you would perish, fall victim of your own misery, but I want to serve notice on you here today. Just to let you know that hope is alive and well. By all means well enough to keep on stepping. Through the tight jamms. The close calls, late in the midnight hour. I often felt all hope was gone. But all hope my friend is never gone. If you would only find the courage to grasp something worth living for. If you would just find some purpose in the midst of it. Its not too late, although it is getting late in the evening. At this stage and at you age there's still time. Time to conquer your demons, time to drive away you fears . Just enough time to wipe away them tears. This is not a time to give up. If they had it their way, you would be sleeping somewhere in your grave. Destiny is on the horizon. To give up now, would be such a tragedy, for what? To have lived your life in vain. Stop, relax settle down. Think, think about all you have been through for a moment. Take a minute to reflect upon, don't think you made it through all that for a reason. You certainly have to get past all that turmoil is a miracle in itself. Your still here for a reason. A reason for the season indeed. Sometimes I wish I could wave a magic wand, to help you define who you are. Reveals some of them good traits lurking inside. What makes me so sad, I know, that spirit of discernment told me so, you got some gifts you got some talents that you're not even aware of, take a look in the mirror, figure it out. You hold the key, to make a difference in this here world. The outcome ain't got to go down like that, you can change the outcome of them generational curses. What I find fascinating about the whole scenario, is that the people are depending on you. Relying on you to do the right thing. The burden rests upon you my friend. Don't you are let them down. Lives are hanging in the balance. There's too much at stake, you all by yourself got the power my lad. You can, you will succeed from the pit of hell. Just let it all go, all of the junk. All of it, right here, right now, today. We cannot afford to wait another minute, another day, another hour. Would only delay causing irreplaceable harm. For this is urgent. This is time sensitive now. There is no time for games, no time to lay and play. We must tend to the wounds. Start the healing process, get the juices of hope flowing one task at a time. Strike out against negativity, now is the time to make up your mind. Enough is enough, you've been in the gutter far too long. Dwindling away in nothing, procrastination is not your friend. You can't just lay there and do nothing. For the days will only turn to weeks. The weeks to months and the months to years. You deserve better to let that define who you are, what you become. Depends on you, who are they to determine your future, it's your life. Who cares what they said, how they said it, it's all irrelevant, I know lil one, good god almighty, I know all too well. They don't know you, they'll never know you. They're not even capable of understanding some big fancy prestigious degree serves no purpose. For they have not walked a miles in our shoes. Let's not get the game misconstrued, I admire what they try to do. In some instances they reach a sin sick soul, but when have they been on the verge of suicide? Who was there when you sliced and diced your wrist? When the angels came calling your name, felt like you would lose your mind, glancing at the light in the distance. Someone somewhere breathed life back into you. Come on, I got to, I coming for you today, what was it? Was it there gesture of kindness? Did they reach out a helping hand? Perhaps provided a listening ear. As quiet as it's kept, that was enough to sustain you. While others ridiculed you, looked down at you in disgust. Saved in the nick of time. Oh thank God almighty you were saved in the nick of time. Why? Because you're a human being that's why. A person with similar hopes and dreams. For we cannot afford to lose you, contrary to popular belief. There is still worth left your too precious to lose. There is value inside. Although it lies dormant for the time being. It can be revived. As long as their is a breath left in me. I will not give up on you. Others can do what but as for me, I will not turn a blind eye. As a great portion of inmates will be released back into the community, far too many take these walls with them. How unfortunate to see the revolving door cycle continue to unfold. The recidivism rate remains high, yet our incomes remain low. I know a lot of potential is there. If you could only discover that you can become somebody. there's life after prison, life. So much life to live. People to see, places to visit, family to raise. I can't promise you that the path would be paved with gold, your going to have to find some stepin stones. Reach out to folks, slowly but surely things will develop. Give it time, lil by lil you will make progress. Do what you shall to restore the years that were lost. None of us can go back in time. That's all on the by and by. What we could do is take the necessary steps. One day at a time, and if you fall get yourself right back up. Keep on keeping on. Don't let it get to you. For you would only hurt yourself by blowing it all out of proportion. It is very critical that you react decent and in order. All your life you've been a defensive type reactionary person. The hour cometh and now is, to engage in defensive measure is not the way, up until this point it has destroyed you, the question is, How many messes have you made? In some aspects your like a little pig, we clean you up. Only to look in grief to see you go right back in the mud, your running out of time, How many years have you wasted? It's not funny anymore, that was all good and well when you were younger. With age setting in, all I can ask is that you come to your senses. The time is ripe for change. Things could be so much better than a jail cell. You do things now. It don't take a rocket scientist. Life is simple as a bee, 1, 2, 3. Figure it out, trial and error. I have faith in you. That's it. Yep, tell you what. I'll give you something. Since you want some sort of indication when you learn to make proper assessments. In suit make the proper judgement calls.You'll know you have arrived, to think, just to think is an extraordinary things. You'll feel better, I promise you that. To lay your head down at night, knowing you've done all you can do, is enough. Just one day of legit productivity. Is stronger then any discorded force that will come up against you. Far exceeding what you thought was the brink of disaster. Your going to make it. Your going to be just fine. Before I take my seat. I got one more thing to say. If you never hear my voice again, don't feel sad for me, for I had to be here, at this place, and on this stage to save much lives, ought we that's deep, too deep for you. I better stop, because if I don't stop I won't stop. I won't be able to stop. Before I go, I want you to always, no matter what. Always keep hope alive my friend.

Author: Martinez, Brandon

Author Location: California

Date: October 17, 2016

Genre: Essay

Extent: 6 pages

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