Its been 23 years since the dawn of time

Its been 23 years since the dawn of time Its been 23 years since the dawn of time of my incarceration, I often wondered what it would entail to encounter a friend. As I embark on this road of chaos and despair, I make an effort to shake off all the turmoil by engaging in productive means conducive to my humanity. I never could fathom that someday I would cross paths with a absolute genuine authentic friend, certainly the skeptics would be awe struck, perhaps a figment of ones imagination they would ponder into fierce debate, “Hey who gave consent, hes not allowed a friend. They would reiterate as they conducted there proper analysis, for whom would ever have the audacity to take the initiative to befriend someone in the midst of this place of prison. A place where angels fear to tread. A place where were ostracized into the oblivion of being out of sight an out of mind, where dignity, compassion only exist in a inkling of a passing moment. Ooh indeed, never on a consistent basis. Although Ive had to contend with these demons that haunt me. I believe from a survival standpoint, Ive took it all in stride, quite remarkable actually accumulating countless chronos and certificates, verifying wholeheartedly that Im still absolutely human capable of change to redeem oneself, Evidently then moral principles are remaining intact in this environment, contrary to popular belief. As terms of habitual an incorrigible are utilized to stigmatize and degrade into a stupor of grief. I couldnt let that define me of who I am in the fabric of my being, for the choices I make today will propel me into my future, I often reflect as I come to terms that my life aint just about me. For only when we lift up others will we ever be able to save ourselves. It takes a courageous act to breathe life back into a Sin Sick Soul, to do your duty in a just fashion is what life is all about. Often times theyre be no reward, if your intentions is to be commended for your efforts. This life aint for you to be recognized an appreciated would only be a added bonus. Dont let that be your incentive. In the trenches of turmoil is where you will achieve greatness, them superior accolades will bloom. Change will occur when you frequently deal with various predicaments. With them factors taken into account I decided to approach with caution. Initially I was a bit reluctant, but the spirit surpassed all of the human will attempting to thwart this interaction, we can never let ourselves be our own worst enemy. In the process sabotaging of what could of potentially been a crossroad opportunity. Deep down I wasnt hesitant for my intuition gave me the ability to discern, being cognizant of the fact its safer to remain at a distance. Something inside of me differentiated that. Casting them feelings aside, surely my intellectual ability had some bearing, to some extent it attributed to my decision to approach this lil ole man of 64 years of age. I was grateful my judgment wasnt clouded that day, for I would have missed a friendship ensue. Now that I think about it, the saying is true that opposites attract. As I discreetly noticed from my safe haven place in the distance. Being keen to detail I noticed he gave off a joyful spirit about him in many aspects. I scratched my head bewildered, as I entered unprecedented terrain, looking way back Yonda. Utah, 1994 I remember grandma, she provided that unconditional love. In suit I returned the gratitude many parallels existed, could it be, did fate intervene on my behalf again, sure, for it wasnt by happenstance. The Ideal time arose, as I becames Joes caretaker. In this life things transpire, things evolve, nothing can ever stop the hand of time from progressing, it was one of those instances. Try peepin out the scene, youll never know what you may stumble upon, for the nights I stayed up with him, doctored him, prayed for him. Theres no change, there comes a time in every persons life that dignity must prevail, concern and compassion takes center stage, a place where we can reside, be content with our selfless acts of kindness, if we ever want to hear “well done”. The scrutiny we face today shall be superseded by that moral obligation. Sometimes my ole friend felt on the verge of giving up, I had to lift him up out of the gutter, as he dealt with a whole host of ailments, chemo has a way of being a traumatic ordeal. A tendency to have side effects that would boggle your mind, it crushed me to see my friend deteriorate to the point of incapacitation. I wouldnt say I was powerless to help my friend, because the connotated meaning of that word is intended to degrade or belittle. He settled on being a recipient of my help. It wasnt a easy task. Eventually I got him to swallow his pride to allow me to assist him. He understood he was no longer sufficient, as I carried out and served my purpose, I did what a friend would do, I helped alleviate his pain, soothed his sorrows, did all I could to help drive away his fears. Gradually he went into remission as a result of common practical sense options I employed. For laughter very well could be one of the best medicines. Other times I had to physically exert all my energy to carry him to the bathroom, lupus has a way of immobilizing you, It threw his equilibrium off kilter, Lets do this my friend, off we went one step at a time, I could have engaged in idle mediocrity. The vast majority of folks conduct themselves in that type of manner, lay, play, and have fun in the sun, to me he mattered, He matters because hes a human being, deserves dignity and respect, the need arose that I couldnt just ignore him as I walked past, who would come to his aid if I didnt, a sense of urgency made it critical, he needed a friend. He needed someone to be there for him, I was that someone to make a difference, devoting 3 years of my life, standing vigil over him literally with that dedication an loyalty, being confident overtime that he would improve, grasping it all I came to the realization that it was a victory, as he improved in increments. Boosting moale as it enhanced his self esteem, Early one morning I was startled by a loud thud, I scrambled in disbelief at his side, he slipped on a wet shower shoe to my hearts dismay, breaking 3 bones in his foot, several pins had to be inserted, the most profound emotion I had to endure was to see him in excruciating pain. Lord have mercy… Although hes not present today, Ill always cherish the times spent grasp the memories no one can take that away from me. This experience will enable me to retrieve the memory at my leisure in the repertoire of my mind to reminisce. Frequently I may smile, burst out laughing. Discreetly when Im all alone a lil tear will trickle on down. I wonder if hes okay. I enquire but I get no indication of when his departure will be, regardless I still havent lost faith. As I await his much anticipated return soon, If my friend doesnt make it back Ill always remember, never ever will I forget Joe, at 41 years old, lightning only strike twice in my life with grandma and Joe. Im fortunate to have crossed paths with him, when this life is all over, as blue walls of death settle in my eyes. In a brief instant my life will flash before me, there he is, he will appear – my friend my friend Joe …. Update, Joe was placed on another yard, Im devastated, I reiterate, he will always be apart of me, a part of my memory, thanks my friend, thanks, Thanks for the good times. Notes of Contributors verbatim: Brandon Martinez has devoted his life to change, with his prolific essays and poems he constantly grasps the moral fortitude to make a difference, in spite of being in the midst of chaos and despair. He realizes that ones individual gesture of kindness, word of encouragement or token of good will can have a significant impact in altering the course of anothers life for the better, he believes that it is only by contributions that we will ever save ourselves, and urges us to keep hope alive……..