Liberating toxic masculinity (a prisoner’s narrative)

Gilliam, Marquis



To: The American Prison Writing Archive Attn: Chelsea From: Mr. Marquis O Gilliam 330190 Re: Submitting a new perspective. Liberating Toxic Masculinity (A Prisoner's Narrative) Science tells us that each of us has enough energy within himself to run a universe if we knew how to release and control. - Reflect Flee, fleet, and run from the dilapidated mind swimming unconsciously, in lost unfulfilled dreams. One must break free and refuse the grasp of immured hands, looking to wring out any livelihood in one's ambition. No longer shall we be bam- boozled with thoughts that are inaccurately chauffering a self-destructive bull- dozer, which has the proclivity of mental and emotional annihilation. Through the channel of accountability I (the narrator), become the keeper and servant of those that are fighting resiliently to be apart of criminal activity. Men of color, the masquerade is over. No longer can we live cowardly under false pretense, of thinking emotional fluidity makes us weak. Unexamined emotions recognized creates the necessary strength to remove the mask. It takes courage to 1 really look at yourself, and then right or wrong determines what's going on in your lives. Speaking for myself in this process, I was truly shocked at what was revealed. Its my mission to expose that much of our goodness has been covered, cloaked, and stepped on by abnormal existence. I'm a firm believer, that man doesn't reach understanding nor a state of consciousness, until he's on a path of recognizing we as men, are also engineered to be emotional. Once that distorted perspective embraces clarity understanding makes a home within the mind. Every man has a definite work to do in the carring forward of the divine law of evolution. Maturation must be embarked on in order to create lanes that represent designed accountability. Fact is I've physically been incarcerated for the past 20 years and self evaluation has become my haven. Looking intimately at the state of black men today, tears roll down my face. Why? Because we are conducting ourselves under the false banner of man isn't reflecting a healthy self love. I've deemed passe no longer has the liberty of disrupting my definition of man. It took some time to recognize internal cleaniness is equivalent to Godliness. How can any man be comfortable with himself knowing there's internal tools lacking within? The issue is most don't have an inkling, that tools are missing from the tool kit of man. Information being passed that beared no real tangible assistance in pushing forward the trajectory of black man is the norm. I can re- member being groomed to glorify the lifestyle of drug selling, objectifing women, materialistic ambitions, men don't show emotions, and financial stability was every- thing. Inner cities across America, a potent narrative argues there are only three ways out of the low income perspective, which are: sports, selling the next popular drug, and the music industry. A consequence of that story for black men living in poverty, and stripped of other opportunities is playing on a loop in their minds. The all-or-nothing pursuit of excellence in sports or music is a tough ideal to have for a community. I believe its a distorted aspiration, because the chances of success are slim. These prisons are harboring the black race at an alarming rate. This is due to zero accountability and making terrible life altering decisions. The psychological chains of enslavement must be broken in order for men of color to take their place in the race of life. Education needs to be the key that unlocks every secured door, and any pursuit of happiness. We as black men need to create more realistic spirited programs in our minds, lives, and relation- ships. The keys to writing these programs are locked up in the emotions that we've never been able to offer outward comfortably. No longer should it be permitted to hinder our growth by erroneously thinking, men don't offer vulnerbility. Prevarication has been displayed to often, especially when living amongst harden men, that are incarcerated as well. Prison creates this unhealthy shatter—proof bottle, that encapsulates all emotions exhibiting civil delivers. Viktor E. Frankl once said..."between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom". Men must imbue their minds gracefully with this nurturing eloquence. Why? Because accountability for the actions of ourselves impregnates the spirit of man with empowerment. I, instill hope that these provocative and practical thoughts create the terrain of success within. Men of color stop neglecting yourselves and expecting this world to give you something. Stop bottle feeding your egos giving it the intimacy of a newborn baby. This outdated ideology of masculinity is dinosaurian and is closing you off from opportunity of networking outside of the norm. So much of our time, energy, and attention is wasted trying to convince other people how wrong they are about us. Rebuilding ourselves through life's challenges creates the occurence of rebranding. Black men, we, must rebirth our- selves in order to blaze a path of tangible goals. We must methodically educate the mind, giving life a royal approach. Knowledge gives you the ability to use what you have learned to be better today, than you were yesterday. No matter how much you know or how you learn it, the ultimate goal of ed- ucation is to give one greater insight within self. An educated mind allows one the fluidity to emotionally navigate effectively. Armed with a better understanding gives one gumption in removing poisonous seeds. William Shakespeare once said..." Our minds are our gardens. We must tend to them like gardeners". Respectfully Offered By,

Author: Gilliam, Marquis

Author Location: Wisconsin

Date: June 5, 2018

Genre: Essay

Extent: 4 pages

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