My experience in hole

Belden, John

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My Experience in Hole Well I've been in almost 11 years now; it's Jan. 1st 2020. I'm going to paint a clear picture of the "Hole" and the roughly 6 1/2 years in tormented my mind inside the "void of reality". Fig A. Fig B. Fig A: 7ft x 15ft Fig B: 5.9ft x 12ft Each has desk toilet, sink, bed Go in a 1/2 bathroom or a small closet (see fig A & Fig B figuration of cell) That's the best relation. Toilet is next to bed. 1,000 of men have pissed in. Sink is stopped up without hot water or pressure. Mattress is 3 inches thick, forget a pillow. Desk is a small metal plate sticking out wall. Now that you got a good visual let go to other senses. All day you will hear screams of different kinds, randomly. The doors are solid steel and get banged all day or kicked. Sounds like gunfire. Bag, Pop, Bang...randomly. You might finally get to sleep then, bang (at 3am). Maybe the guy next to you snaps and gets vaped (gas mace) you to share same vent duct. You wake up choking, eyes burning, and paniced. It will settle soon, but the mace will soak in pores and reactivate on and off for next week, burning. Water makes it wrose! Is that a mouse or rat in your cell? Your used to it by now you leave, it some bread crumbs. The roachs though 2-3 inches long you never get used to. The cell is still dirty from last 6 guys before you. Blood from guy who cut veins. Shit from guy who spread it on walls. Maybe your lucky with just spoiled food. Every once in a while you have some events that happen during the 24 hour lock down in your closet world. You shower 3 times a week for 10 minutes in cold water. 3 nice cold food trays come to your door. 500am, 10am, and 4pm you can expect it. Think microwave quality, food or nursing home. Potatoes, beans, and bread are your friends now, yummy! Always have a processed turkey mash up on noodles. To survive these guys get the free dope, pyshic. meds. Morning and night different colors and sizes. Like trading cards mix them up with someone else's. Forced sleep in goal. You may be luck to find last years magazine. Books always are missing pages. Majority are 30 years out dated. Only paper items are allowed in your room. Nobody writes today so your cut off from life, family, kids, etc... Suicides happen weekly. Some guys just cut up their bodies to get out of cell for a few minutes. I've seen guys cut out guts with a plastic spork no exaggeration. Some guys wander off and don't come back. Guys strave themselves to get attention or a problem solved. What happens to a man in segregation is permanate, it's trauma to mind. Guys get dependent on isolation outside becomes so fast its a shock of senses and stimulus. Paranoia is creeping in and you don't see it. The guy next to you is now out to get you. Your entire world is 7x12 feet, you disappear. Peace John Belden Your Thoughts write in Kentucky

Author: Belden, John

Author Location: Kentucky

Date: January 1, 2020

Genre: Essay

Extent: 2 pages

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