Feeney, Matthew D.
Transcript
Matthew Feeney
[address]
24 Lines
PPG and Me
Everyone’s heard of a “polygraph”
colloquially referred to as a “lie detector test.”
But have you ever heard of a PPG?
It’s a lie-detector for your pecker.
Yes, I’m serious.
The scientific name is a “penile plethysmograph”
But that’s just a big, fancy name for a peter-meter,
There’s a rubber band attached to a wire
affixed to “special sensors”
Routed through a hole in the wall and plugged into machines
monitored by observers in the next room.
You attach the rubber band around the
base of your penis sit in a comfy chair
and stare at a TV screen
As staff show you dirty pictures of men, women & children
and then measure how you “react”
They then chart and graph this data
into a nice scientifically sanitized analysis and aseptic reports
How can watching porn be part of any bona fide scientific test
especially when shown to guys who’ve been locked up for years?
I’m just glad they don’t hook us up
and make us watch an Animal Planet special on the mating rituals of jellyfish...
I'd be hosed.
