Queer man down

Oguntodu, Joseph

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Queer Man Down Queer people trying to find their way in prison. Queerling scared of being discovered by their homeboys, staff, co-workers, etc. The unit I'm on is so scary that they don't know how to speak for themselves. This is too much of a fraternity house. Latinos putting stock into their facial features. Blacks being the loudest, slamming the dominoes, forcing their love on another person. We call this the booty bandit syndrome. I know that I'm a pretty black male but oh my God why are all the blacks staring me down. Whites are scared to express themselves around me. Interracial dating is sexy. Some inmates have hated on me during my 7 years because I have took a stand to interracial date and bond. I being the victim of queer bashing, sexual harassment, etc. I will be 35 April 23rd 2018. Why does a queer like me deserve this type of hatred. TDCJ is behind the queer times. No rainbow flag being displayed outside the unit or in the departments. Help me understand. They play the PREA videos periodically yet they outlaw sex of any kind? This is not a rehab center. Maybe in 20 years things could shake up. Staff shortages. Queerlings still not having access to hormone treatment, bras, etc. Every trans should have access to their accessories. I feel like a trans daily. Many straight guys in prison want a trans for companionship. I see some that want a guy that is more closeted like them. Do two closet people make a right? I must want attention like Charlie Booth would sing. John Lennon singing Imagine--all the people living life in peace. As a queer man down I want to imagine all of my babies living their queer lives how they want without fear. Christmas was last month. We can't live a warlike life. Each day in prison is an opportunity for me to get out. I long the day to see my future partner's face. I don't have to wear white clothes, grey socks, steel toed boots, a hard mattress and eat out of the purina meal slop. Why do I deserve it. Days of country gravy, false advertisement on the food they serve. Beef/pork novelle casserole, beef stir fry, pepper steak. They potato us to death. Queer man jealous because someone is better looking than they. Straight man puts on a facade and says "I can't be around you." I walk fast. Not many queerlings can keep up the pace like I. How can I ease the queer pain that I go through as a prisoner I write so much to get my feelings out. Will somebody hear me? Maybe there's a queer Latino, Asian, white or foreigner that is going through a similar situation such as I. Safekeeping not housing all queerlings. They say a queerling can't automatically be placed in safekeeping. What is the actual criteria? I been denied twice. Rxxx Jxxx filed 385 F3d 503 to prove a point. He was a queer black like me and was taken advantage of on the unit which I am on. The administration refused to do something because they thought they knew the answer. It is still the same song and dance in 2018. I want our queer community to be safe. I lost almost 30 lbs. while incarcerated. I cut down on the food served in the chow hall. Off brand commissary at expensive prices. Why contract issues breed. Denial of eye drops, anti-fungal cream they deem most necessary. What kind of medical department are we serving? No queer medical staff around. Medical is suppose to house LGBTQI staff. No LGBTQI wardens. If they are scared to come out of the closet in the workplace. TDCJ doesn't have queer counseling like the free world does. Most of it is mental health. Mental health won't solve problems. Suicide on Allred is at a high. We live in a don't care about an inmate society. Cruelty to inmates is the same as cruelty to animals. The birds flock to our campus and want to be fed like anyone else. I can't sleep in this bed like anyone else. I count sheep in this mattress by myself. I want a queer fortune. I want my queerness back. I am weary. I suffered enough. I am wanting to watch cable TV, get on the Internet, write a book, do crossword puzzles, etc. A queer mind is a terrible thing to waste. What is our queer communities like across our nation? Trump wants to bankrupt all Obama and progressives worked for. Alabama did the right thing by electing a Democrat to the Senate. We need more blue states. I am a Democrat. The more right wing I see, the more leftist I am. I want our queer country back. Will the queers, Princes, Michael Jackson, David Bowies, David Cassidys, Mary Tyler Moors, Ed Asners, Liberaces, Jack Nicholsons, Lucille Balls, George Michaels and the dead celebrity society please be alive in our queer community. Let's not keep them in the grave. Let's watch their programming. Also let's boycott right wing organizations. Trump needs to leave office. There is no queerlings in the White House except Sen. Tommy Baldwin of Wisconsin. We need more queerlings to occupy the White House. As I leave the Allred unit before Tues. Sept. 1, 2020, what will my queer life be like? I want it to be somewhere over the rainbow way up high where dreams really come true. I suffered enough cold/cough spells, heat exhaustion, peer pressure. There's no life here. I emphasize that my queer life needs to come back. I want to return to a queer church where I can sing songs that are inclusive. I am tired of Donald Trump using expletives to shove people away. Why did America vote for this douche bag? Shame on you, President Trump, and your administration. You all are covering up your dirtiness and enforcing this queer man Joseph Oguntodu to remain in his closet. I refuse Mr. President. During your 1st year in office you never talked about HIV/AIDS. You not the only one in America. I am sure there is a queer running around in the Trump family. You're making your white community uncomfortable. I marry a white man but not one like you. It's time for the queer community to protest Trump. May 2018 be the year that progressives take back the White House. Thank you. I love you. Joseph Oguntodu

Author: Oguntodu, Joseph

Author Location: Texas

Date: June 15, 2018

Genre: Essay

Extent: 4 pages

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