Reflections From the Cement Coffin
(July 18, 2013- Thursday- Roughly 3:49 P.M.) "The closer you are- the farther away you will be." I heard it said during a movie.
Yesterday, on the PBS Newshour, a woman was talking about a discussion we are having on the computer about whether or not race mattered in the Travone case. Divine beings sharing each others thoughts is the way I see it, or do thoughts belong to you?
The only request has to keep it simple- to keep the response to a seven word sentence. And today, during a discussion with my cellmate about the inner city street theory- "do you", I realized it really is that simple. If you are not doing you, it can only mean one thing; that you are doing somebody else. This may mean that you are unaware of what's really going on in your world. If you are doing somebody else and not doing you, it would mean that you are in somebody's business. "For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busy bodies" (2 Thess 3:11). The admonishment may indicate that being somebody's business may lead to more and more trouble. Look at how everybody is worried about what everybody is doing while the world suffers along with everybody in it. The governments of this ideologically constructed world are charge with the business of managing the affairs of this world as public servants. We are charged with the business of grassroot democracy. We have the organizational power to create a new world. Our public servants are obligated to effectively serve us in our endeavor to the degree that we get to work focusing on our business. The public servants are the human beings in which we exist.
(Roughly 4:46 P.M.) I had a psyche evaluation today in preparation for my board hearing. The emotional intelligence resulting from the meeting with the psychologist is interesting because I haven't engaged my rehabilitative process as has otherwise probably been expected. When I think of freedom for myself, I think of freedom for everyone. In a sense, my focus on the objective have been a matter of self-negation, but the self-negation I suppose has facilitated the awareness of nobody and my oneness with the world. The freedom of everyone is the freedom of me. It is as if path I am experiencing made this clear early on because there is no way it seems I could have pursued my own perceived interests and at the same time those of the path without my interest quickly becoming freedom for everyone. It seems reasonable to consider that, if my hypothesis is incorrect (That my path of rehabilitation is being guided by the system, who is a living organism), I am more than likely to die in prison being that my focus hasn't been to meet the requirements of the parole board, unless of course the rehabilitative awareness I am now experiencing meet the requirements. I am still exploring the emotional intelligence I am currently feeling. I felt like a fool- ay least more foolish then I am because I didn't keep my statements concise and well connected. But maybe it also has something to do with my desire to really not talk about or think too much about anything except the objective. The easiest thing for me to do would have been to not say anything except I have no complaints with how the system chooses to guide my path. I instead, though, allowed myself to experience the moment in order to afterwards listen to the emotional intelligence. I suppose the moment brings home clearer the realization that the human being in which I exists belongs to the state (the system). Or, the human being belongs to the state of mind with the quality of the movement of the human being partly determined by the quality of intention. The connection that has just occurred is to senate document no. 43. It seems that I would have made the connection before but I don't recall doing so. It seems reasonable to consider that, when senate document no. 43, 73pd congress, 1st S1366 reads:"The ownership of all property is in the state, individual so-called "ownership" is only by virtue of government; i.e., law amounting to mere user; amo use must be in accordance with law and subordinate to the necessities of the state," It seems reasonable to consider that included within the state ownership of property is the human being. This all makes sense now. This connection would seem to be part of the message I am intended to receive from the emotional intelligence.
What I was intending to say about the evaluation given by the psychologist is recalling her telling me two or three times to keep my statements concise because I was being to philosophical. There is no question that I was being too complicated. But her telling me that also seems connected to the reflections I have been contemplating the last few days as a result of my being compelled to discontinue moving through reflections on paper in the middle of connecting thought flows. It seems as if I have reached a point in my writing to where I either have to keep it simple or be able to move through the intended reflections all the way. I have been getting stuck in mid-stream. Due to the nature of the prison environment for me being like a compression chamber, it seems impossible for me to write- move within one particular thought flow extensively because other reflections begin to impulse me compelling me to shift to other insights. But what is also interesting though is when- well I moved through reflections on Monday and Tuesday reading the connection between history and the importance of the alignment of perceptual forms. I was then compelled to discontinue in order to listen for further insight. A steady flurry of insights then began to impulse me helping to advance my awareness deeper. It is only now, after the emotional intelligence generated by the psyche evaluation, that I feel compelled to continue moving through reflections. I think of what Beroyaev says:"I write in response to an inner voice which commands me to transmit my mental experience. Writing is no luxury for me but a means of survival, an almost psychological necessity" (pg. 150). Maybe now I'm ready to get simple.
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