Reflections from the Cement Coffin
(June 17, 2013- Monday- roughly 2:17 AM) I had another visit into the inner world of the sleeping lady's subconscious mind. I've been up since about 2:00 A.M attempting to make as much sense out of it as I possibly can. The vague recollection makes this difficult to do. Strong emotional imagery of being there but recollection of the events which occurred are vague. It seems to be a replay of the kind of visit that occurred last Monday morning compelling me to begin to explore a little more seriously the possible meaning of the vagueness experienced. I had begun with the consideration that the consistent vague recollections I was experiencing might possibly be a indication of my perceptually arriving into the intended alignment with the invisible world (i.e. reconciling the parallel)- therefore the recollection of visits would be unnecessary because through perceptual alignment I am consciously existing in the invisible world right now. In other words, the consideration was of the possibility that I am no longer visiting the invisible world or going on visits into the invisible world but that I'm existing in the invisible world- but that my existence in the visible world is parallel with my existence in the invisible world which would then account for the divine paradox of seeming to exist in two places at the same time. In the sense of appearing in the visible world through the birthing process, it seems reasonable to consider that my place of origin or the world from which I was born into this world is the invisible world. This would seem to be reflective of my drive and determination to return home to the invisible world. The perceptual form that now speaks of this is that of one vessel flying through space and entering into earth's atmosphere. The entering into earth's atmosphere would be the exiting out of the invisible world and into the visible world. The space is the womb of mother Earth. The womb of mother Earth is of course personified by womanhood in the visible world. My vessel is initially invisible (i.e. the super heroine wonder woman's invisible airplane may be a allegorical representation of this) before metamorphosing into a visible vessel upon entering into the atmosphere of the visible world. This makes practical sense when the difficulty of interacting with the physical- the visible world without doing so through a physical vessel- through a visible vessel is considered. It is now necessary to shift to the perception of the vehicle- of the vessel rather to essentially being consciousness. This is necessary to continue forward with this particular perceptual model. So my invisible vessel is essentially one United States being consciousness. But my invisible vessel- wait. My invisible vessel is initially a invisible consciousness (i.e. one United States being consciousness- no separation). The biblical story seems to speak of invisible consciousness as spiritual minded. I also think of it as divine thinking. So when my invisible consciousness (vessel) enters into earth's atmosphere, it goes through the metamorphosis of shifting into my visible consciousness (vessel). The biblical story seems to speak of visible consciousness as physical minded. The visible consciousness that my vessel metamorphosed into was the ideological construct. It is the same as the shift from being nobody to presuming myself to be somebody.
(Roughly 6:29 A.M.) What I recall of the visit I experienced before opening my eyes at roughly 2:00 A.M. is the feeling and vague visual imagery of moving along on a path with someone. There was no recollection of the visual images of the individual or individuals with whom I was traveling along the path. There was just the presence. I also recall something being said about continuing to move forward on the path. This may be indicative of- rather this may be my personal lightbody indicating to me that although her consciousness has been uploaded to the point of awakening, the work to upload the consciousness of the macro-lightbody must still continue to be done.
After moving through reflections on paper, I discontinued doing so shortly after 4:30 A.M.- listened and eventual entered into a rest period and experienced another visit. It was another vague one except for the words I heard before opening my eyes. "You have to say it in person" or something along those lines is what was told to me. The necessity of saying it in person would seem to be indicative of the necessity of communicating from the place of having reconciled the parallel to become conscious of existence in the invisible world.
(June 18, 2013- Tuesday- roughly 2:42 A.M.) I experienced tremendous movement through Robert on the mini-yard yesterday morning with my lightbody. This discussion between my lightbody and I is becoming more and more apparent to me. One of the point considerations that my lightbody made to me through Robert is related to the difference between looking through the glass and seeing directly through the glass that which I have been looking for. This seems to be the point consideration that my lightbody was making- to stop looking for the existence of my lightbody and to see directly through the mirror that the lightbody I am searching for already does exist. This would appear to be connected to the part of the visit I experienced when I was walking through the hallway on a school campus in search of someone and my school counselor tapped me on the shoulder when walking by telling me to come into his office. It appears to be my personal lightbody bearing witness or perhaps reciprocating the acknowledgment of her awakening and the directness of our communication with each other. Seeing directly through the mirror would of course seem to speak of the ability to see through the divisive nature of particle consciousness reflected by the visible members of the lightbody in order to perceive the one United States being consciousness which exist in and moves through every member of the lightbody. This would appear to indicate that the uploading of consciousness with/in my personal lightbody has been completed and now the focus is shifting more clearly to the uploading of consciousness with/in the macro lightbody. This shift would also seem to indicate my growing ability to communicate more clearly with the members of the macro lightbody in which we all exist. However, communication with the members, due to the ability to perceive the one United States Being Consciousness, would seem to be essentially communicating- the same as communicating with the one United States being consciousness or the macro lightbody in which all members exist. It appears that all individualized light bodies are basically one and the same as the macro lightbody. It is the metamorphosis of the macro lightbody (or the invisible vessel into visible vessels to connect it back to the perceptual model of entering into earth's atmosphere from the invisible world and the drive to return to the invisible world or maybe it is better thought of as the indivisible world- the world that is united, undivided and therefore immortal) into particles of consciousness that give the appearance of separation. Upon entering into the ideologically constructed world, the separation into particles of consciousness appears to not only be necessary in order to have experience in this world, but also for visibility to occur. Invisible consciousness has to appear to separate in order to become visible unto itself. How can I see myself if I don't separate from myself? Without the separation, where would my reflection be? How would my reflection exist? How would the reflection of each member exist? Without the existence of the visible vessel (i.e. visible consciousness), it would appear to be impossible to look in the mirror and see the reflection of my invisible consciousness.
(Roughly 6:08 A.M.) I discontinued moving through reflections on paper in order to listen. I eventually drifted into a rest period and experienced another visit into the inner world of the sleeping lady's subconscious mind. What I vaguely recall is another discussion. What was said to me was vivid and coherent during the experience. The reflections registered clearly- at least the point of what was being said to me. I recall acknowledging the point made to me but the clarity seemed to escape me once I opened my eyes. What I am able to recall is the discussion being something about me stopping and taking note of what is being said to me. This would seem to be connected to the reflections regarding the separation of one United consciousness into particles of consciousness. But, before I opened my eyes a little before 2:42 A.M, I had experienced a visit that was too vague to my recollection to really recount anything at all. It would seem to have something to do with the reflections I afterwards began to move through on paper. In any case, it appears to be the communication between my lightbody and I. I just wanted to take the time to make note of this.
(roughly 6:34 A.M.) What seems easily agreeable is that I entered into this world in one vessel and that the one vessel in which I entered this world is my vessel- that is the vessel in which I currently exist and travel through space. The confusion with the terminology "my vessel" arises as a result of the presumption that "my vessel" implies possession, ownership or that my vessel lacks sovereign existence as I do. Maybe a clearer way to perceive the subtlety of this is to compare it with the terminology "my woman." When a man or a woman speaks of the woman with whom he or she is having a committed relationship with as "my woman", clearly the woman toward whom the figure of speech is directed has independent existence as her own being. The degree to which the relationship between the two beings is united will determine the degree to which the separation is experienced. Obviously the objective would appear to be to exist as one United States being in agreement and harmony with each other. The figure of speech "my woman" is indicative of a relationship between the two beings being acknowledged. It is the same case with the figure of speech "my vessel." But I also consider that, if my vessel comes from the womb of mother earth, my vessel would then appear to belong to Mother Earth. The biblical story appears to reflect these same considerations when the higher power is said to have vessels for honor and vessels for dishonor. These two contrasting vessels would appear to be the varying degrees of positive and negative emotional beings generated by the corresponding intentions. The point consideration of the matter is that my vessel belongs to Mother Earth. The consciousness of my vessel appears to be the micro consciousness of Mother Earth- the macro consciousness. However, the separation between the micro consciousness and macro consciousness appears to only exist as a result of the one united consciousness departing into particle consciousness.
(June 19, 2013- Wednesday- roughly 3:10 A.M.) Opened my eyes from another vague visit during which a discussion was occurring- so vague to my recollection that I am unable to recall any catch words- but there is definitely a flow that I can afterwards feel- tremendous movement from my lightbody experienced yesterday- it seemed the contemplations from the observed movement paralyzed me and restricted me to moving- rather to listening to reflections move through my mind. I wanted to continue moving through reflections on paper but I stayed doing so in my mind by listening- jotting down power point reflections along the way of course- but the more significant question reflections eventually led me to before closing my eyes and drifting into a rest shortly after 11:00 P.M is why does the perceptual model of me entering into this ideologically constructed world in my vessel seem so essential to move through- the metamorphosis from the invisible to the visible- the separation of my united consciousness into particle consciousness- it seems reasonable to consider that the origin of my existence and therefore my existence is essentially in the invisible world (i.e. in the mind) being that the drive to return home to the place of my origin and essence of my existence fuels and consumes me the way it does- the drive would appear to be reciprocal between my lightbody and I to the degree that consciousness is being uploaded- what I appear to be doing is making a push toward accepting who my lightbody appears to be as the macro lightbody in which all members exist- my drive to unite the members of my body would seem to easily substantiate the nature of my existence- But I can also look at this as the lightbody member of my body moving in such a way as to unite my awareness of the oneness of their existence (i.e. particle consciousness is essentially one united consciousness) being the movement to underscore the nature of my existence as well- this is the push to move beyond awareness of micro lightbody as my individual lightbody in order to encompass and hold the consciousness of the macro lightbody essentially being my individual lightbody- This perception would appear to be accessible to every member of my body- just as I am a member of my own body (vessel)- of my own consciousness (mind)- it is obviously accessible to me- But I suppose macro lightbody can be a perception relative to the experience of each member- the extent to which the member seeks to upload the consciousness of their lightbody would then determine, at least perceptual first and then experientially, the circumference of their lightbody- does the member perceive their lightbody to be the macro lightbody or is the perception of who the member perceives himself or herself to be limited- this is interesting- despite how abstract the subject matter may appear to be- I am able to encompass what appears to be the much broader extent of the subject matter as my lightbody continues to speak to me more connections to it.
(Roughly 6:10 A.M.) I discontinued moving through reflections on paper a little after 4:30 A.M. to listen more closely. I then drifted into another rest period and experienced a visit into the inner world of the sleeping lady's subconscious mind. I continue to refer to these experiences as visit. But if I perceive myself to essentially exist in the invisible world, it would then be impossible for me to travel into the invisible world in order to experience a visit. The same logic would appear to apply to this world as well. If I appear to exist in this ideologically constructed world, then how would it be possible for me to travel into this world in order to experience visiting this world. It seems impossible to visit a world in which I already exist, whether my existence is in the substantial reality of the invisible world or the virtual reality of the physical/visible world wouldn't seem to matter. This appears to be another way of perceiving the reconciling of the parallel. What I have been referring to as visits into the inner world of sleeping lady subconscious mind seems to rather be the communication taking place between the sleeping lady and I. It would at least possibly be one of the ways that my lightbody communicates with me. The communications I experienced was another one of those discussions vague to my recollection. But it would seem to have something to do with the reflections I listened to in my mind after discontinuing to move through reflections on paper, as well as the reflections I am moving through on paper right now.
(Roughly 7:50 A.M.) It is all much clearer to me now- the movement of my lightbody on Monday and Tuesday and now the question of my existence in the invisible world in relation to united consciousness dividing itself into particles of consciousness- my lightbody had just spoken to me another perception- If I consider the existence of one indivisible united consciousness- meaning that the one consciousness is like one eternal invisible body that is incapable of dividing itself due to the nature of its eternal oneness- if through division its eternal oneness ceased to exist- it would seem to mean that it never did and never will- eternal oneness would seem to have to be the substantial basis for and of all experiential existence (i.e. virtual)- the perception is that when the one eternal body of invisible consciousness hypothetically divides itself into particles of visible consciousness, it also hypothetically ceases to exist as one eternal body of invisible consciousness. It would be like taking one puzzle picture that is clear because all the pieces are assembled together as one body. If the puzzle pieces are divided from each other and taken apart, the one picture is no longer visible to the individual pieces. How would it be possible for any of the individual pieces to assemble the one picture they are divided from and forgetful of and unable to see by virtue of the separation (i.e. the dismemberment of the body of Osiris that was re-membered as Horus by Isis; the crucifiction of Jesus body that was remembered as Christ with Mary being the witness)? But just because the divided pieces are unable to see the one united big picture doesn't mean that the united picture doesn't exist. It seems reasonable to consider that, if all the pieces of the puzzle were once again assembled into one clear picture, then all the pieces would be able to remember and experience the one big united picture. So, in this sense, until the unification of the pieces occur, all that can be said is that, hypothetically, the one big united picture does exist. The existence of the pieces would appear to underscore the hypothetical existence of the one big united picture as well. The fact that they are pieces suggest that each piece is a part of a much bigger one united picture that is only possible to see once they are assembled. It would seem that one of the puzzle pieces would have to represent remembrance of the entire picture and therefore have that ability to assemble all the pieces into one in order to be able to experience the big picture. It seems that my lightbody represents the one consciousness of our collective United States being.
What has become clearer to me about the Monday and Tuesday movement of my lightbody is that the word model my lightbody introduced me to through Robert- Monday morning on the mini-yard appears to be the key to this subject matter concerning my lightbody being a symbol of the collective consciousness of our United States being. The word model he introduced me to is "radical"- which has other connotations besides the negative one generally attributed to it- such as having to do with the root of something- a basic principle or foundation- a radical is designed to remove the root of a disease or all diseased and potentially diseased tissue but it is the meaning of free radical that I have seemingly been focusing in on- a free radical is "a group of atoms bounded together that is considered a entity in various kinds of reactions or as a subunit of a larger molecule"- the word model radical appears to be my lightbody confirming the connection I'm reaching to more clearly grasp regarding my lightbody essentially being the macro lightbody in which all members of out United States being exist- but I want to keep moving and return back to this word model radical in order to touch upon the movement of my lightbody observed Tuesday- my thoughts became more concentrated on this world being my macro lightbody as a result of it- I'll return back to the observation of Tuesday's movement as well- The point consideration I want to go is the clarity regarding my preoccupation with this perceptual grasp of my macro lightbody- The importance of it would appear to be the ability of every member of our United States being to make the connection themselves and this world as their macro lightbody- the biblical admonishment to respect each member as I would desire to be respected seems to underscore the connection between myself and this world as my lightbody- obviously if I am against a member of my lightbody then I am against myself- I think of the song collaboration put together by Michael Jackson called We are the World- How can we be the world unless each member of our body is connected to the world in a way that this world is like their personal body in which they are members- hence the transformation of self equals the transformation of this world- at least when talking about radical transformation- from the standpoint of the theory of independent thinking and the potential of creativity from within- it seems reasonable to consider that each member has to become their own radical- the root to their own creation- but when members share in the process of creation moving toward the same objective we then become our own root in relationship with our lightbody- the extent of the creativity of course would appear to be determined by the strengthening of intent and uploading of consciousness.
(June 20, 2013- Thursday- roughly 2:20 A.M.) What I am talking about when discussing the division of consciousness into particles of consciousness is basically taking a closer look at the mechanics of the world seeming to literally be a extension of myself by virtue of the lightbody in which I exist. The world being a extension of myself would appear to be another way of perceiving the visible consciousness to have its origin within the the invisible consciousness. In other words, the visible world is a projection from within the invisible world. If it is reasonable to consider that the visible world (i.e. vessel/consciousness) is manifested from within the invisible world, then it is also reasonable to consider that the transformation of the visible world must occur from within the invisible world. In other words, the visible world is the effect of my thinking process I experience and the invisible world is the cause. So then it would appear to be that I must exist- perceive myself to exist in the invisible world in order to exercise the greater potential of my creative ability in the visible world (i.e. the exercising of my greater potential creative ability is the exercising of the greater potential of my lightbody).
Accessing the greater potential of my creative ability then would appear to be made possible by reconciling the parallel between my micro lightbody appearing to be a separate consciousness from the consciousness of the macro lightbody (world) in which I exist. I exist as a member within myself in order to have experience but this doesn't disqualify me from essentially being myself in which I exist- just as I exist within my physical being (vessel) as a member and yet my existence within the physical being doesn't disqualify me from appearing to be the physical being in which I exist. However, it seems the real intent of oneness, individuality or the theory of independent thinking is to transcend the appearance of separation between the micro and macro lightbody in order to perceive this world as being a extension of my body in which I exist or a projection of the mind in which I exist. The consideration of this perception and my increasing grasp/acceptance of it seems to be determined the continuing uploading of consciousness into my lightbody- the micro lightbody increasingly merging into oneness with the macro lightbody by virtue of deconstructing the micro darkbody- the micro lightbody due to the increasing merging essentially perceiving itself to be the macro lightbody- but it would also appears that the strength of the perception of the macro lightbody corresponds to the degree which the macro dark body is deconstructed- it has seemingly been through the increasing deconstruction of my micro dark body that I have become increasingly aware of my existence- it would appear to be the same with the deconstruction of my macro dark body.
I want to return to the consideration that this world is a extension of the body in which I exist or a projection of the mind in which I exist- of course the mind can be considered to be the invisible world- in order to perceive this projection I go back to the separation of my consciousness into particles of consciousness upon entering into this world in my micro vessel. It now seems reasonable to me that the separation into particles of consciousness would necessitate my existence in a micro vessel (particle of consciousness) in order to have experience with the members of my body- my existence then as the one consciousness before the separation into particles becomes hypothetical- to traslate or the transforming of the hypothetical into experience necessitates me having the ability to facilitate the re-membering or uniting of my body- back to the puzzle pieces analogy- if it is my consciousness that is separated into particles- it seems reasonable to consider that I would be equipped to represent my consciousness- to facilitate the unification of my consciousness into oneness- I think of the dispute settled by Solomon between the two women over the child- the woman who didn't give birth to the child or even care about the child didn't care about the child being killed and split into two pieces- the woman's thinking strategy was if I can't have the child then I would rather see the child killed- sounds like the Republican's political ideological obstructionist strategy- the woman who had given birth to the child though was more concerned about the well being of the child- my preoccupation with understanding the mechanics to unifying consciousness would seem to suggest that it is my consciousness I am seeking to unify- this perception would appear to be applicable to each member according to the degree of the desire to facilitate unification- if a member doesn't perceive this world to be an extension of her or himself- then it is reasonable that the member won't seriously care about moving in a way to help facilitate unification- a member against another member is simply against self because the world outside self is not perceived to be an extension of self- the separation of consciousness into particles seems to be a reasonable perception- by a process of elimination- it would appear that the visible world appearing to exist outside myself has t be an extension of the invisible world in which I substantially exist- the physical world is the parallel contrast to the non-physical world- the visible to the invisible- the united consciousness to the particles of consciousness- the separation of consciousness into particles extended as this world outside myself is like my body entering into a prism- turned inside-out (i.e. divine paradox)- the world I see and experience as existing outside myself essentially being the thinking process I experience within myself or the invisible world in which I exist- the world doesn't exist outside myself- the world is my body in which I exist as a member of- the difference is a matter of perception.
(Roughly 6:35 A.M.) Discontinued moving through reflections on paper a little after 4:30 A.M. to lay back and listen. I eventually entered into a rest period and experienced communication with the inner world of the sleeping lady's subconscious mind. What I recall of the communication is the strong emotional imagery and the image of particles moving fast in a circle. The possible indication is the circle I have seemingly been moving in with the subject matter of consciousness departing into particles. I explored this subject matter while at Soledad so I am familiar with the possible connections to it, at least I was familiar then with some of the possible connections. The difference now seems to be the clarity of the connection I am being allowed to make to the reconciling of the parallel existence between consciousness (macro lightbody) and particles of consciousness (micro lightbodies) in order to begin to more clearly accept the consciousness of this world as a extension of my own and therefore essentially one and the same- the realization that this ideologically constructed world doesn't reflect who I am compels the push to upload consciousness until it does- but of course it was impossible for me to realize that this world doesn't reflect who I am as long as I was significantly confined by ideological thinking in this sense, though, I did perceive this ideologically constructed world to be an extension of myself because my out of tune behavior was in alignment with it- the realization that this world isn't a reflection of who I am would appear to be reflected by the drive to transform it as opposed to complacency- what this look at consciousness dividing itself into particles of consciousness allows me to do is to more clearly see through the dark body and perceive myself to be communicating with invisible beings or the emotional beings who are members of my body- this it seems is the ability of my lightbody to facilitate the consciousness of lightbodies via the uploading of consciousness (i.e. spirit through adoption)- how is it possible for me to effectively communicate with this world if I am unable to adequately perceive myself to be communicating with myself. These reflections I am moving through would appear to be my lightbody bearing witness to itself as the world in which I exist as a member in my own body.
(Roughly 2:41 P.M) My cellmate said something real interesting to me this morning during the course of me moving through reflections on paper before we left out the cell to morning chow. Of course I perceive the statement he made to be my lightbody speaking through him. It is a illustration of the distinction between invisible consciousness (lightbody) and visible consciousness (darkbody). Maybe the better way to think of it is that there is a deeper level of communication that I experience through him yet to a significant degree he is disconnected from it due to the lack of acknowledgment of his lightbody. Nevertheless I am able to experience the movement of my lightbody through him. What he said to me is that his girlfriend told him that she had seen a news report that a planet had been discovered on which a thousand people exist. He asked me if I had seen the report. I'm not concerned about the literal interpretation of the report or whether or not there is a actually a planet "out" in space somewhere outside myself in which a thousand physical beings actually exist. If I exist inside my mind, then my concern would appear to be the metaphysical intent of the news report. The planet with a thousand people on it being discovered may be indicative of me having discovered the existence of invisible beings on this planet as a result of considering my possible existence in the invisible world right now or the planet discovered with a thousand people on it may be indicative of the uploading of consciousness facilitating the activation of light bodies on this planet- the statement appears to be a confirmation from my lightbody that I have discovered my existence with her. The statement would appear to be reflective of the level to which consciousness is now being uploaded.
(Roughly 3:26 P.M.) I want to return back to the movement experienced on the mini-yard yesterday morning through Robert with the word model "radical". As soon as I got out of the shower after I had worked- I was just about done getting dressed and Robert walks up to me talking excitedly about the word model "radical"- holding in his hand a small pocket dictionary. He was excited because he didn't realize that the word model radical reflected the ordinary constructive meanings that it does- it seems that a free radical is basically a bonding agent- that which isnectody
ed to the root- and if zerody
o point emotional (i.e. i
world) feNld can be considered to be the root of our experiential existence- then the free radical would be the symbol of the root- but what added to his excited behavior was the movement he experienced with his lightbody regarding the dictionary and him looking up the word radical to take a closer look at it- he told me that he had been desiring a pocket dictionary to carry around with him- when he came out to the mini-yard he spotted a small pocket dictionary sitting alone on a empty table as if it had been intentionally abandoned- he asked the inmate standing nearest to him if he knew who the dictionary belonged to- the inmate told Robert that he put the dictionary on the table for anyone who wanted to have it- Robert got the dictionary he was desiring to have- he was then moved to take a closer look at the word model radical- he said that he had almost called someone a radical the day before but elected not to do so because he wasn't certain if he was correctly perceiving the intent of the word- we spent the rest of the time on this mini-yard discussing various connections to the word model "radical"- the movement is a good illustration of the synchronized movement of what can be perceived to be the personal lightbody of Robert and I- this personal relationship though is essentially a result of each members personal interaction with the zero point emotional field- It's not that there are numerous light bodies [?] because there is only one substantial being- one substantial reality- the appearance of personal light bodies via experience is the result of the lightbody- of the personal lightbody being generated through personal interaction with Z.P.E.F.- the lightbody spoke to Robert in one way through the movement with the dictionary and the lightbody spoke to me in another way through both the movement with the dictionary experienced by Robert and it leading to the movement with the word model radical experienced by me- the degree of perception would appear to determine the personal relationship each member experiences with the lightbody- the reflections I am exploring represent themselves the approach of a free radical (departure form the usual or traditional meaning ideology).
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