Transcript
Nobody California Reflections from the cement coffin May 18, 2013 (May 18, 2013 – Saturday – Roughly 4:20 A.M.) It’s now roughly 11:42 P.M. I opened my eyes at about 1:11 A.M. early this morning and began moving through reflections on paper concerning the American prison writing archive. I’m still feeling my way through the emotional intelligence generated by the opening of the emotional field. After moving through reflecting for a period of time and sensing another shift in emotional intelligence, I discontinued moving through reflections on paper and listened to the emotional intelligence speak to me more deeply about the approach it seems I am intended to take when moving through the APWA emotional field. I then attempted to begin moving through reflections on paper regarding this process I am experiencing in relation to the APWA. I attempted to do so at roughly 4:20 A.M. But, after sitting up writing material on lap – pen in hand – introspectively staring into space for several minutes, I laid back down and resumed listening to emotional intelligence. Listening is what I have been essentially doing all day and night – receiving deeper perspectives. The insight I have gained since I got the letter about the APWA Wednesday or maybe I should say the insight I am continuing to gain is interesting to me. For instance, early Friday morning at roughly 4:17 A.M., I woke up and began to move through the following reflections: I suddenly opened my eyes or maybe it was my eyes that suddenly opened – anyway it suddenly happened nearly an hour ago after experiencing another visit into the inner world of sleeping [laoy?] consciousness – there was a discussion and images shown to me that are now too vague to clearly recall – happened to me early yesterday morning as well – experienced visit – suddenly awakened – vague recollection – [then?] rapid thought flow – some people call them dreams – I call them visits – seems reasonable to consider the shift of awareness from experiencing the outer world of waking consciousness to experiencing the inner world of sleeping [laoy?] consciousness is a visit from one world into another – why don’t we call it what it is then – a visit into the other world – I suppose though the compromise would be that experiences in the world of sleeping [laoy?] consciousness are visits into the dream world – well maybe then what visits into the dream world essentially are are visits into America – visits into the world of dreamers who love to dream – visits into the world of American exceptionalism in another earth – pause – stop – contemplate – reflect – listen – listen – listen…Now go. I’ve never quite considered it like this before – now the question won’t leave my ears alone – if my experiences into the inner world of sleeping [laoy?] consciousness are essentially visits into the world of American exceptionalism – visits into America – then what/who is the society/world we appear to currently exist in – if my experiences into the inner world of sleeping [laoy?] consciousness are visits to America – then it seems reasonable to consider that America is not the society nor the constructed world we currently exist in – maybe it is a figment of our ideological imagination. This connects the nature of the nature of the dream world to the question of understanding our prison system – maybe the prison system is the world in which we currently exist and therefore the objective is to transform this ideologically constructed world into the world of American exceptionalism which would then signal the completion of our rehabilitation in this world. The experiments – rather the experiences of nightmares who appear to be visits of an entirely different nature – perhaps the paranoia of this world – the strands of paranoia weaving together the fabric of this world seeking to reveal and at the same time rehabilitate itself – this would seem to have to be the case if the world of American exceptionalism is a world in which there is no suffering – of course this is a much longer discussion but what appears to draw the clear distinction between the two experiences – nightmares and dreams – is that it would appear to have to be as a result of experiencing visits into the dream world (i.e. into the world of American exceptionalism as opposed to experiencing nightmares resulting from experiences in this ideologically constructed world) that not only is the effective degree of understanding our prison system to be attained – but also the effective degree of awareness of the potential existence of the world of American exceptionalism – it seems reasonable that it would be possible to learn about the world of American exceptionalism by visiting the world of American exceptionalism through experiences in the dream world. Nightmares would then seem to simply be the reflection of lost emotional – thought beings trapped in between this ideologically constructed world and the world of American exceptionalism seeking the gateway into the dream world. Maybe this is what the discussion that was too vague to recall was about – this distinction between night-mares and the experiences of visits into the dream world. Why does nobody seem to understand our prison system – this may be the reason – because nobody is dreaming – but let us not get stuck here with these tenative reflections because I am being too abstract when I am able to explore these considerations much more concretely. (May 19, 2013 – Sunday – roughly 1:38 P.M.) Patience -stillness it seems is what the process is still teaching me. I still have a predominant inclination to move fast and aggressively through reflections generated by emotional intelligence which was the case early Friday morning. I assumed the shift away from reflections I began to move through Wednesday night – well the shifting away from a certain flow of reflections into another began Wednesday night, occurred again early Thursday morning – Thursday night and early Friday morning with continuing shifts occurring afterwards, which I suppose has compelled me to just shift my approach and begin moving through the reflections relating to this process of reflections shifting according to the emotional intelligence generated. This shifting process I speak of would seem to correspond with the process of writing drafts for a essay until the final one is complete and maybe in some ways it is but the extent to which the process has compelled me to slow down and study it – observe it seems to suggest that the process is indicative of a little more. It sometimes feels and seems as if I am working to write something – as if I am working to say something, but really I am writing and saying nothing or at least this is what appears to be the case. It seems rather that I am simply working to understand the process I am experiencing. This appears to have been the case throughout the years of intensively writing practically everyday – the process leading me through the complicated ideological mind into the simplicity level of awareness; from the abstract to the concrete. This process seems to occur with each emotional field I move through. The APWA personifies the emotional field I am currently moving through. It resonates like the gateway into the world of American exceptionalism we are intended to move through transformationally. There is a concrete way for me to write about this as well which I have become aware of as a result of the process. Maybe what I am coming more clearly to terms with is that I have to continue to be patient and move within the framework of this process. I suppose it is reasonable to consider as well the shifts I have been experiencing was also emotional intelligence taking me out of the perception of perceiving myself to be writing a essay and bringing me back perceptually within the framework of this process. The quality of intention spoken in the heart (i.e. emotional being) seems to generate the patterns of thought experienced which is another way of saying that the writing I [illegible] is generated by the desire to understand the process I am experiencing, but the process I am experiencing appears to be generated by the intention to create the world of American exceptionalism on mother earth. It would then seem to be the case that by remaining perceptually within the framework of this process that I am allowed to become increasingly aware of the dynamics relating to the intention being stated. The importance of the perceptual distinction would appear to be between not perceiving myself to be saying something to somebody and affirmatively perceiving myself to be saying nothing to nobody. The objective is simply to continue moving in a way that uploads consciousness and generates movement. (Roughly 4:16 P.M.) It seems as if the letter about APWA filled me with emotional intelligence that pushed me perceptually outside myself to some significant degree. Moving through the shifts of emotional intelligence not only gave me necessary insight but has allowed me to move back perceptually within myself in order to begin moving through reflections related to the APWA as I am intended to. This shift back inside is what I am now experiencing. Nobody
