Sorry I haven’t been writing as much

Wood, Saint James Harris, III



This is a bi-monthly letter I send out to friends fans and literary folk Dear Whomever Sorry I haven't been writing as much as usual, my cell and my life have been buried under one big paper explosion. Letters, stories, legal crap and threats, are everywhere. I may have to hire a professional paper wrangler. /// / Although we've lately had merely one little riot in recent weeks (only locked down for three days) this place has been awash with hoodwinkers, swindlers, pickpocketers and just plain gyps. Some fool stole a pair of headphones from our computer class today and our teacher, who is far too nice to be working in this garden of fraud, quietly threatened to have our cells searched. We have something called floaters here, which means tvs, radios, fans or guitars that aren't on the books and can be taken from you if the cops feel provoked. The class is so noisy I don't think the headphone thief even heard the threat since they're singing, rapping, arguing and having shouting contests. Every single thing in my cell is a floater, so this is an outrage! Also, on a stateside scale, perfidy was practiced by an employee of the prison, a teacher likely somewhere down south. We get time off of our sentences if we complete college courses, learn to read, how to repair a car engine or weld and I don't know what all else, and the credits we're given are called "milestones" (fancy, huh?)-but some scalawag free staff member was selling milestones (selling freedom!), and so now they've temporarily halted the milestone program. I am owed at least a month off my sentence (which currently releases me late 2019 and is dropping even lower). Call your congressman or Wonder Woman and see if they'll fix this. / ///In another episode of idiot criminal activity somebody stole one of the correctional offer's sunglasses. I don't even want to go into it, it's so fucking dumb. Also, the authorities are trying to force me into an NA program that is predicated on God taking notice of me, and then he saves me. I can only work programs that are focused on positive thinking. God tends to ignore me, and asking for his help has so far been of, well, little help. //// But back to the people in the south. Trump has really pulled the covers off those historically racist, anti-progressive, shoot-yourself-in-the-foot types (I say that because poor southerners vote against their own self-interests religiously). I think Trump has shown that half of the southerners are truly uniformed racists and half of them are simple, probably good folks (many of whom voted for Obama) who were hypnotized by television and that stupid show "The Apprentice." It defies common sense and all that's rational, but there you are. Your Humble Servant [illegible] P.S. let me know if you want to be on the letter lists. There are more on Esquire's website.

Author: Wood, Saint James Harris, III

Author Location: California

Date: June 15, 2018

Genre: Essay

Extent: 1 pages

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