Tell Her, I Love Her: My Soulmate... by Richard Atkins Jr.
July 4, 2019
I'd like to thank God for bringing Angela R. into my life. Her calmness kept me focused on being the best man I could be for her. Her love and lovemaking changed my life, and took me to a mindstate of peace and loyalty.
From the first time I laid my brown eyes on her ocean blue eyes, I forgot what not being loved felt. The woman before her - Aisha H. was a beautiful Puerto Rican/African American woman born in Oakland, raised in Stockton, lovely but violent when she drank alcohol. Not the wine or beer either. I'm talking about Hennessy, Jose Cuervo and Jack Daniels.
Then she'd get upset for any small reason and want to fight me. When all I did was cherish her and her 7 year old son. Exavier was a good little boy, handsome and smart.
So, me and Aisha met through my older friend Chet, who told me that Aisha H. was a good girl. Like a sister to this restaurant owner. So I was so careful with her, and loved her down to her soul. We were engaged before I explained the best way that I could that I didn't love her anymore. That I told her to keep the violence in check.
During a visit over to my mother's, while on the cell phone on the couch, Aisha punched me in my mouth! She heard me say, baby on the phone and just lost it. She had been drinking, and that became the pattern. So while out of town in Reno, Nevada I met this 34 year old German, Italian and Irish American name Angela R. The club was West 2nd, and she was beautiful. I was mesmerized, like I was star struck at her beauty. And I was in love almost in a month of being next to her every night. After three months, and after one of our intense lovemaking sessions she proposed to me. I was caught off guard, but I knew what I felt for this gorgeous woman and said, yes. I was 26 years old and called my mother for some futuristic thoughts on a woman proposing to me? Does it happen that way, mom?
My mother gave me one of the deepest women speeches I've ever heard. She said, how old is that girl?
I told her 34. And my mother who dropped out of H/S to raise me and a year later my sister Niresha A., told me that that woman knew what she wanted in life and she was chasing all of her dreams. She's found the quality that she can love for life and have a family with. That's what's she's about, son.
She said, Angela probably has a career and her own home. And I said, yes.
So in the end, my mother taught me in a matter of minutes what caliber woman I was involved with. I was with a solid woman, who had set a bar for herself.
Our dreams, connected like the stars in the sky, connected like thorns on roses and like engines and vehicles. Me and Angela R. had a calm, respectful, sexually active relationship and I knew we had our entire future ahead of us, but I messed everything up.
I was arrested on a second degree robbery charge, although the victims in my prelim and at trial excluded me both times. They told the court that it wasn't me who pulled a gun on them. So why was I charged and given 23 years in a state prison?
I've lost the love of my life, my soulmate, my home and my music career.
I've also lost a grandmother, other family members and friends I went to elementary school with.
I miss my old life, but my new life is more positive, 100% legit, fun, a challenge and my freedom ring. I lost so much to gain even more. I have my own company coming to the world near you.
I'll never forget Aisha H. or Angela R. but life goes on like the late great Tupac Amaru Shakur said. They taught me love and how to love two different women with the same heart.
When the feeling touches you after ten years, that's called, real love. And I lost two soulmates in a lifetime. Lord, pray for me. And tell her, I love her...
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