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No Title 10/12/17 Texas is an institutionalized industry. I have been here since 1999. Arrested 2-11-98, hit TDCJ 6/99. Going on 20 flat, next year. I am not innocent, I agree that I should have gotten time for my part in my crime. I do not agree with the amount of time I received. 99 yrs. A hard life, abuse galore. Physical, emotional and mental. I believe if I had recevied the psychological help I needed I may not have been in the position I was, when I did what I did. That's long past now, but if they actually were to study a person's actions, thoughts or reactions as to why a person gets to the point of life that generates such thoughts and choices, there might be less incarcerations and lengthy sentences. People with mental problems should be assisted in psychological institutes, not placed in prison where there is no help nor understanding of the person's psychosis. Example-my daughter died in 1996, killed by my ex-husband, wife and step-daughter. By 98 I was locked up. Chasing a form of death that I couldn't catch. Believe me I tried. Suicide just wasn't in my fate. I have been clinically diagnosed with multiple disorders, PTSD; borderline personality disorder; disassociative anger-management disorder, and manic depressive. I've taught myself over the years to live with myself and my issues. Being here has helped in that area. No psych-meds. Since I didn't grieve my daughter the way I should have or helped the way I need to be helped, I screwed up bad. My past can't be changed but I find it ironic that the people who killed my child got less time than I did combined. And will see parole or be released before I see parole on a charge of conspiracy to commit capital murder. By being incarcerated I have become sociopathic by nature. When Megan died, I "died" with her. The little shade of emotions I have are based on anger, or lack of empathy or even sympathy, most often. If my story can help another parent gain the help they need then so be it. Pity is not what I want. A little understanding for a person's loss and decisions, choices that can lead to incarceration may garner better mental health services. The mental, physical, emotional & spiritual stress a person goes through is compacted by the fact that TCDJ does not truly want to help an inmate get on the road to rehabilitation. Their job is recidivism. Can't make money if they work with the inmate/offender to make a better life for themselves by making better decisions in life. When a person is whole inside, we make better choices with rational thinking and solid decision making for the betterment of our lives. May we all reach enlightenment on our journey to life's future on present's road. Blessings be to all. Mary Ann Jalomos
