The incubus of a lifer

The Incubus of a Lifer: My plight began some twenty-four (24) years ago - during a dumb night of partying with a group of teenager’s alongshore the Perdido River in Barrineau Park, Florida; a common creek bed where adults, kids often gather for fun... This particular night I had previously been ingesting large amounts of cocaine, and in an attempt to come down, due to a later engagement, I started consuming alcohol to the point of drunkenness. Needless to say - I managed to arrive in the early hours of the next day and months later - charged with a Class A-felony - due to injuries sustained by a minor - in which I, sadly to say - let, permitted her to drink and sustain an injury - resulting in the loss of my marriage, my kids, effectively my life as generally known to society. Prison(s) in Alabama remain barbaric to say the least: 80-90% are mentally, emotionally, and psychosocially defective due to lack of education skills are common - upbringing(s), and I am right in amongst them - with virtually “no-escape,” but for the little time permitted to go to its law library - or church, as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses - I spend 95% of my time “alone.” Having been blessed despite certain above setbacks - I’m advancing in the legal field to the point of perhaps becoming one of if not many, the last of a dying breed in prison (aka prison-lawyer). I prefer “paralegal” often more so - than naught. Food inside these walls - is drastically dispensed - not worthy of eating due to untrained cooks, and the theft of anything of value is served down the hall for a high price - such as: 1) fried chicken, 2) grilled fried potatoes with cheese, 3) sandwiches of all kinds (bologna, hot dogs, peanut butter and jelly) to any - all when dispense a $1.00 (Items such as a soup, canteen chips, crackers, hot cocoa, or a coffee - or tobacco ball - made up for individual consumption - daily by others) The alleged “meals” served in our kitchen - remains questionable at best. 1) for example, we have at our disposal large chunks of raw meat boxed up in no paper wrappings - which they cook and it bleeds out - but never turns brown, nor does the blood ever discolor - no matter how long one cooks - it? So the assigned “slaves” whom work therein, are told to add flour often to thicken it as gravy (mostly to disguise the blood - uncooked) so it can be served to eat... all of us know this but they eat it anyway because of shortages of food. The portions are so small an infant (between 4-7) would not be filled with what’s thrown on the trays - behind a huge black wall - at the end of the rail-counter a tray comes out of a hole in the wall – often splashing all over the floor and inmates... super nasty, gross. Seating capacity in our kitchen, here at [redacted], in [redacted], Alabama is so small - for 1200 (+) inmates & only 35-40 tables (sits four men) steel tables-chairs attached - inmates just get up leave their empty trays, cups, spoons on the table, or floors - for kitchen workers to pick up! One can only imagine what I see every time I’m forced to attempt to eat? When & if a woman gets assigned to the kitchen as a guard - the predators cunningly sit in corners an masturbate on the females while eating! The place is a zoo... More often than nought we have no-guards watching over us - in the dormitories - some zoo plus men - in double-bunk beds - in an open bay area - with generally one (1) guard assigned whom stays out on the hallway due to the violence, smoking of drugs, tobacco all hours of both day-night 24/7!!! There is no “control” over the inmates when party sleep, eat junk-food all day-night & watch T.V. (sports, movies 24/7). Those whom remain awake, smoke, drink coffee while ingesting drugs all day long - all night long 24/7! No action is ever taken to those simply “getting high” while in prison? This is by all means (now) not a prison but a mental ward... I am by all means "dying" inside daily exposed to the above - while attempting to gain my “freedom” from living hell. Often I pray that my supposed captors remain alive - long enough to see the judgment day - so they’ll see 1st hand their plight for the ongoing abuse of human being’s - despite their convictions (all of which is sin)!!! I hope my letter, albeit somewhat lengthy and neither professionally written is read with an honest eye for what this place is? I could go on & on but for what reason(s)... Every aspect of this place is ruined and headed for destruction by God! Mankind as a whole, from what I’m viewing is worse off out in society to a certain degree - because the style, substance of inmates coming into our system has dropped off - the scale of society norm. The “inmate” as their called are without any cares, or morals, super nasty, and no respect of person exists inside these walls anymore by us - overall! I’m shocked often to awaken and hear, see the things I see us do – to one-another, and never blink an eye? The lessons being taught, learned here - reflect upon us all - overall - that these supposed men - at one point or another, will, shall return back to society - worse off, than what they “were” when the judge - Dist. Attorney’s whom sent them here for rehabilitation purposes - but hey go figure - this is American justice at it’s best. This letter - story line, is not meant to scare nor belittle other’s coming inside the walls - gates of hell... but per se an eye-opener whatever purpose is remotely intended to fix - us, as a whole, is not working. N’Djamena (aka)