Title: The Void Existence!
Thurs Jan 29, 15
Wrong choices, mis-guidance, non-fatherly, positive roles to follow close at hand, one finds self far behind quickly without knowledge to correct, taught proper morals or sense of self-worth & identity, how to & or the worth of achievement, accomplishment, equals = LOST!
When you're shunned, viewed & or treated as unimportant or worthless, where & or how do you or individual male/female gain self-esteem?
Placed inside places like this maximum facility & constantly treated with disdain hostile belligerent cruel and unusual punishment day and night with all objections towards you to destroy you mentally, emotionally and physically literally with sounds, language, actions, tactics et. al = pain, misery, hate, leads to self-destructive destructive outlook towards and unto any and all things!
With no outside meaningful connection, love and or vital support, prison life routine becomes one's all and all else becomes <unknown> without mirror it's easy to forget self, looks etc!
I live and exist in spiritual sphere and fight to hold on to heart with love joy peace while resisting hate, anger and slew of many negatives!
Focusing to maintain mentality, strength, will, identity and future hope.
Being literally frozen this winter by facility inadequate heating, bedding still ongoing on 75 days without adequate shower stall usage by department refusal to clean and sanitize properly.
Moldy foods with lard substance filled soup broth without substance extra salty meat substances, watery hot cereal, main diet is bread!
Being in security housing unit/isolation since feb, 2009 - nov 29 2013 brief jail visit during court process, returned to incarceration returned to iso/security, shipped to max facility from march 5th 2014 until.....?
Mental, emotional, physical (damage), full med pre-existing condition with improper treatment (no outside connection/resource, only meaningful hold/grasp is in Jesus Christ. All hope, dreams and reality future plans based on Christ. No department accountability, no corrections officers professionalism, childish retaliative, abuse dangerous life threatening security squad. Complaints ignored and avoided! Still cannot make sense of it! I pray, study, pray and wait for better times. Hate, envy, evil encompass TKTK, no general movement allowed, proper exercise, et. al.
Oppression, persecution but in the <Light> I stand and follow Jesus Christ Amen!
Can and or do you understand or make comprehension of this?
PS May the special gift of health, peace, joy and happiness be yours throughout the year bless all