Transcript
The War Within: Release from Self-Bondage "Whats going on?" -Marvin Gaye "I have a dream..." -Martin Luther King "Its a thin line between being educated on HOW to think and WHAT to think..." -Antwann Johnson Hello! My name is Antwann Johnson Sr. As the founder of this program, my mission is to help rectify the thought processes of those who suffer from the day-to-day destructive cycles of internal assault on the mind and soul. Purpose: To magnify the fact that being mis-educated as a youth leads to ignorance of one's self, and begin the process of sifting through the conscious and subconscious mind to find the roots of the thoughts and behaviors that keep us stagnated. Aim: During my personal struggle while incarcerated, I developed a burning desire to grow spiritually as well as mentally and also to assist others with their journey towards releasing themselves from mental bondage. Currently, I am a facilitator in the Intensive Therapeutic Community; a program that is aimed to help incarcerated men to change for the better by making them take an honest look at themselves, the harms they have done in their lives, and take responsibility as well as accountability for themselves, the harms they have done in their lives, and take responsibility as well as accountability for their actions. Upon my release, I plan to give lectures and motivational speeches at detention centers, churches, schools, and wherever I am lead because I feel that is a part of God's plan for me in my life. I currently have no outside support and would be very grateful for any assistance you may be able to offer. Referals would be extremely helpful and I would also appreciate any other aid available towards bringing this program to reality such as helping me to connect with others through snail mail, posting this on the internet, etc. I feel that I can continue my mission of connecting and healing broken souls once released. Together, we can collectively alter the negative mindsets that keep many of today's youth locked inside a mental prison of their own design, Once shown the way to psychological freedom, the key lies in continuing to provide positive alternatives that will prevent relapse back into old cycles and habits. My program will not only give youths critical skills to be able to manage themselves during day-to-day affairs, but with the proper funding it will also eventually expand to be able to provide job, meal, and living assistance, field trips, and other smaller programs integrated into the whole that I feel will help to keep them on the right track. My Analysis: I feel that today's youth have no tru role models besides the different forms of media they take in on a daily basis. They are also molded by what they see in our society. Children have become accustomed to viewing their parents as EQUALS instead of as authority figures. The primary purpose of my program is to help rebuild the mindset of those between 9 and 25 years of age who struggle with issues that many may deem unworthy of concern. In order to understand TRUE justice it calls for being attentive to the needs of one's cries and also being able to decipher what it is that they are truly trying to convey in their actions, words, and culture. To reach these individuals, one must be able to deal with and relate to the issues they struggle with- in their purest forms. The harsh reality is that only a person who has been through real addictions, suffered from criminal thinking, and has endured the experiences stemming from these and other such problems can effectively reach others and relate to the pain and struggle oof those going through similar situations. A scorned youth who experiences violence, lack of proper care, and abuse on the verbal and physical level becomes affected psychologically without really being conscious of the process that is taking place. Many Americans fail to take note of or address in-depth conscious issues like this concerning the youth. The fact is, these young children and adolescents are fighting a battle within themselves. As they grow older, this war of the mind causes them to become prisoners of their past. This is an issue that affects every race and culture to some degree, but I feel that those considered minorities are the ones who primarily get overlooked. Therefore, my goal is to be able to assist as many as possible with going through the necessary steps to overcome the unconscious thoughts and beliefs that have been holding them back. In order for a person to change, he or she must TRULY want it. This change does not come overnight, nor is it a matter of "microwave instant results" or magic. It can only be achieved through continued practical application of the tools gained while getting proper education about one's self as well as by taking an honest look at the harm one has done to themselves and to others. There is a bigger issue going on with our youth than a lot of people may realize, and its core is abandonment, abuse, and incest. If the dialogue does not begin with addressing the roots, our youths will remain stuck and not truly able to achieve internal peace and freedom from mental imprisonment. This is why they tend to turn to sex, drugs, alcohol, and violence for comfort. It numbs the pain, but does nothing to either help the individual face their problems or heal from the damage they have caused. Mis-education definitely plays a key role in shaping the upbringing of the younger generations, so the ultimate goal is to focus on successfully changing the thinking patterns and behavioral acts that bring severe consequences. This will help individuals move in the direction of adopting a responsible lifestyle through the acquisition of positive coping SKILLS (as opposed to only having automatic coping MECHANISMS, such as smoking or overeating) and an affirmation of personal values. This will also ensure that they are taking the necessary steps towards becoming a responsible and productive member of society instead of simply just a statistic. It is THIS kind of self-defeating thinking and attitude that causes a person to make dangerous lifestyle choices and give themselves permission to commit such acts that are deemed unjustifiable by society. While many who have adopted this way of thinking suffer from financial poverty, it also leads back to their beliefs. A person's core beliefs are what prevent the individual from being easily moved or persuaded to change by the elements and environment around them once they already have their personal belief system engrained. One of my program's main focal points is on unity, because I truly feel that this is what builds a solid and secure foundation for a thriving community. Most of our youths feel as if they are outcasts and that, in their eyes, nobody understands the chaotic environment they live in because those who are more financially fortunate do not have to dwell there and deal with its sad conditions. Many of these youths function under a distorted belief system. What lies within ones belief system, which includes our views of ourselves as well as of the world around us, becomes our reality as well as our own personal truth. Many people choose to ignore that they are reflections of their past experiences. In fact, about 89% of both men and women are affected by previous sexual, physical or emotional abuse. What is even more disturbing is that the majority of this percentage or people has been mentally damaged before the age of twelve. The truth is, we choose to live in misery because we feel immune to the pain caused by stagnation and are fearful of enduring the pain of growth because it causes us to venture off into "uncharted waters", so to speak. Therefore, we keep ourselves chained to repeated cycles of insanity. In order to achieve true freedom, one must learn to live without the anchors that limit and impede progress and growth. Self-respect, true compassion, dignity, and the ability to deal with stress and problems in positive, constructive ways are priceless treasures to have because they cannot be bought, stolen, or hustled. Dedication to acquiring these, along with maintaining constant spiritual growth, is TRUE essence of responsible living. No other form of freedom has true and lasting staying power. It is nearly impossible for a person to change on their own without undergoing a reconditioning period and gaining a new understanding of the pain and hurt feelings that many of us have experienced as a young children. A child is groomed from their relative environment during the early stages in their developmental life. Therefore, if they were abused, neglected, overlooked, or deprived in any way during their upbringing it will show in the ways they deal with life and problematic situations as they grow older. They will also be more likely to be misunderstood by those who have not experienced such a dysfunctional childhood. The lessons that will be taught through this program are those that are often missed or ignored during the youth's upbringing. One of the primary reasons for this void is because of the "Recidivism Mindset". This is a state of mind that that is derived from a constant state of hopelessness. Without the basic foundation of hope, how realistic is it that a person can be successful at anything worthwhile? I feel that many therapists only interact with people from a "textbook knowledge" point of view because they strive simply to achieve a psychiatric analysis instead of a real connection with those they attempt to help. However, when one speaks and lends aid with a voice of passion and conviction due to the challenges they themselves have faced and overcome in life, it connects with the hearts of men. This type of counseling taps into the souls of people like nothing else. The desired change will not come without its challenges, however, as there will still be faults in the recovering patient's (youth's) actions and behaviors. This is an advantageous opening for positive reinforcement of newfound values and hope. Often times, it is unhealthy fear that puts us in a complicated place to escape from due to the fact that it leads us to make decisions based more upon impulse and emotion than logic. Also, we cannot overlook self-esteem because it plays a major role in every humans thinking ability. In today's society, we must also be prepared to warn and help the youth cope with cyber-bullying because that definitely plays a part in their upbringing due to the face that so much of their time is dedicated to social media. How we perceive ourselves will definitely show in our words and actions. Our actions in themselves speak volumes, but can one truly translate or diagnose a problem that lies deep within without understanding it? In closing, I have come to find that many of us are simply products of our pasts, but our deeply-rooted issues have become mental scars that keep us incarcerated as prisoners within our own minds. Nevertheless, it is very possible for any person to overcome falling victim to the "damaged petal" scenario and become the blossoming rose that God created each of us to be if they truly dedicate themselves to change. I feel that the following enclosed poem ("Letter to God", written by fellow prisoner Rashad El) embodies my struggle and highlights many of the difficulties people who are incarcerated face on an everyday basis. From Atwann, with your help I believe I can reach our youth and give them a more positive out look on life and themselves. This is only possible with your help and support. God Bless!!
