Today Begin’s Forever
Today begins forever for me my wife cried again on the phone with me over the 50 years the state ask me to accept. Did I think about my life inside of this place?? Yes but I got to begin forever again all over over again.
I don’t know if I’m gonna be alive in the years to come while stuck in this place. I don’t think I will be able to see my mom again it may be my feeling but thats how I think. Now dont get me wrong I have faith that god has a plan for me the scary part is I dont know what it is. Not knowing my destiny makes me worry a lot because god brought me here I guess its meant for me to live my life inside this place.
Im confused on why I deserve all this but I guess something led me to this. Im like Job do I accept the good and not the bad?? I cant understand why this is my destiny or my fate but I dont believe in luck all things have there own purpose.
Staying focused is hard to do in this life but Im still here so I got to deal with that right?? Not knowing what tomorrow brings is a hard pill to swallow in my eyes but I dont know. I talked to my wife today about becoming serious I think with how things are we need it but I dont know.
Life is funny when you dont know whats to come but you got to sit and wait on forever. Stay focused it will get greater later but sometimes Im not sure.
I think about how everybody abandoned me but [redacted], my mom and family. Its crazy everybody were to worried about themselves to be worried about me. My dreams are full of cages and bars and thats not funny if you ask me. I wish I had a crystal ball so I could see my future. My dreams stew me out but I hate that cause I wake up in this place another bad ream.
Time passes we all grow into the person we will be forever I just think about me and my kids, [redacted] and [redacted] are my world but I cant see them now that hurts constantly.
[redacted] claims she hates me but I dont know if thats true or false but I cant reach out to her she acts like a kid and that makes me sick to my stomach.
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