Unexpected ascension

Vikalpa, Kali Yuga

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Kali Yuga Vikalpa Vikalpa 1 Unexpected Ascension If I had not descended into the dark and brutal hell of imprisonment, I do not believe I would ever have found God. I never searched for God; I was adverse to anything of a religious manner. Nevertheless, when I was at the very bottom of the pit, God is what I found. Before imprisonment, I did not have any meaningful experience with religion and did not believe in God. I received an infant baptism in a Church, but received no further indoctrination. As a child, my mother forced me to accompany my grandfather, at his behest, to his Seventh Day Adventist Church. I hated every second of it. The entire service was in Spanish, meaning I could not understand a single word of it because I did not understand the language. Thankfully, I only had to endure this torture for about a dozen times, but it stirred a up hatred in me towards the Church. At the age of sixteen, I rode the corrections bus from central booking to the Rikers Island complex. Rikers Island is hell on earth. It is New York City’s largest jail complex, 10 jails, a hospital,‘ bakery, armory, and a host of other buildings all situated on an island north of Queens. In chains, I sauntered through the side door of the adolescent jail, R.N.D.C. My time there was lived in daily chaos. The housing areas were overrun with vermin, with worms in the shower, maggots in the food, and with rats, mice, ants, spiders, and giant cockroaches in the cells. The place was incredibly violent and the prisoners ran everything.‘ In order to use the phone or eat a meal I had to fight. I quickly grew hard and cold in order to survive, learning to be more violent and cruel than those around me. I had no time for God. Vikalpa 2 After three years on Rikers Island, I journeyed far north to the frozen wasteland that is Clinton Correctional Facility. Clinton C. F. is located on top of a mountain, in the northernmost county of New York, Clinton County. It is a dark, evil and inhospitable place. The officers that worked there had an intense hatred and brutality to them. They were all related, many by incest, and prided themselves over their abuse of prisoners. They love referring to prisoners as “niggers, spics, monkeys, kykes,” and “filthy animals”. They spread rumors about prisoners within the population, betting on the outcome of the resulting violence. They hire indigent and mentally disabled prisoners to assault other specific prisoners. They handcuff prisoners and throw them down flights of stairs. They isolate and gang assault prisoners, beating them to near death; on occasion, they kill prisoners. Worst of all is that they get away with all their abuses because they live in such a small, close knit, incestuous community where everyone covers for one another. Towards the end of my forth year descending into that frozen hell, I had finally reached the bottom. I no longer wanted to live. I was ready to kill or be killed. Then my friend Alex talked me into attending the upcoming Christmas Mass. It was beautiful in every detail. I had always seen the church through a window, but had never visited it. The church was made of stone and sat alone atop a grassy hill within the prison grounds. It was built in the beginning of the 20”‘ century with funding by mobster “Lucky Lucchiano”. The walk up the hill was serene. At the top there was a magnificent view of the Adirondack Mountains. Upon entering the church, I was awed by its beauty. The original polished wood support beams, stain-glass windows, and the huge beautifully decorated Christmas tree made me feel like a child. As the mass started I could feel the hate, rage, depression, and darkness lifting away from my body. I could feel love and the presence of God. Vikalpa 3 I was immediately converted. Alex guided me on prayer, meditation, rosary adoration, and provided me informative literature. With my new daily practice, I no longer felt as if I was in hell. My entire outlook on life changed. I felt like it was all going to be okay. I believed that everything I was enduring was a necessary test by God. My faith would surely be tested again as I left the frozen wasteland of Clinton and arrived at Sing Sing Correctional Facility. Sing Sing is a different kind of hell. Living in Sing Sing results in a constant assault on the senses. The prisoners here are of an extreme caliber of degeneracy. These vile beings produce an overabundance of horrid stenches that constantly poison the air. Tobacco smoke, marijuana smoke, feces, urine, rancid sweat, rotted clothing, and burning oil are just a few of the constant stenches searing the inside of my nose. There is also the constant cacophony of blasting radios, belligerent arguments, singing loonies, crazed ranting and shrieking addicts. The noise is non-stop, deafening, and causes one to come to the brink of madness. Bug-eyed loonies and drug addicts wander the gallery in search of their next fix. Uneducated and disheveled hoodlums crowd the gallery, hanging out in front of a cell and bobbing their heads like a flock of filthy pigeons to the hip-hop beats blaring out of a radio. I constantly have to brush past these derelicts in order to get by, resulting in their filth sticking to my clothing. The officers are lazy and incompetent simpletons that are just as degenerative as the prisoners. The stresses of living in such a jungle caused me to break away from the church. After a summer on my own, I discovered meditation and Siddha Yoga. Through my practices of meditation and yoga, I believe I found God, just in a different form and without all the judgment or dogma. Sitting on my bed in meditation while repeating the Siddha mantra I can feel this wondrous sensation within my body. It starts with a vibration in the nasal cavity, lips and Vikalpa 4 between the eyes. Then the vibration can be felt throughout the entire face. Shortly after, the entire body is enveloped in this vibrating and numbing sensation. Lights start to flash before the eyes, pulsating with the vibrations in tandem. Beautiful deep hues of blue, red, and orange take over the vision. A warm fire starts to burn and spiral within the stomach. It slowly rises, traveling up the spinal column. The body starts to involuntarily sway and gyrate like a snake or the stomach of a belly dancer. When I am in this state, I feel only love and bliss. It is in this heightened state of consciousness that I swear I encountered God. I unexpectedly ascended into a state of God consciousness. Now my goal is to maintain that state as I continue on with my journey.

Author: Vikalpa, Kali Yuga

Author Location: New York

Date: April 7, 2019

Genre: Essay

Extent: 4 pages

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