VICTIMIZED by Edward R. Clark
We normally View victims as people who suffer due to criminal acts or cruelty by others. However, anyone can be psycgologically a victim when “M” allowing the negative actions of others to effect them emotionally — whether their actions are intentional or not.
We are victimized whenever we find ourselves out of sinc in our life.
Or, manipulated by someone else according to what they dictate, includinghnn sharing their self—imposed misery or being argumentive. As it is said,
"misery loves company."
We self—victimize by going around complaining about events we have no control over or people we can't change. Or dwelling on past behavior instead of learning from it. This is especially true when indulging in self—pity, feeling sorry for ourselves which can have no positive outcome. It alienates us from those who could be a positive influence. It denies us the opportunity to be a positive influence on others with its rewards.
When you feel someone is trying to get you to join in their misery, say, "I think your misery is demanding my company." Any response like this, stated in a nonhostile way, will demonstrate to your potential victimizer that you are wise to the game; that you command respect for your intelligence and honesty.
Whenever you find yourself in danger of being dragged into an argument, trying announcing, "I just decided I'd rather not argue over this. If you alone. insist on arguing, you'll have to do it aiee. We either talk with respect for each other, or I won't participate."
What other people think of us is totally up to them. They willppmetty much believe as they want, whether we like it or not. Although we can do our best to treat them as we would like to be treated, or try to reason with them, we can't afford to compromise ourselves in an attempt to be persuasive. If we can't ultimately determine what they think of us, then‘ » there is no logic in being upset about their opinions, unless we believe L09 their View of us is more important than our own.
By not assiciating with them, we won't provide the opportunity to be disrespectful. They will get the message and move on to someone who can be easily victimized.
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