Well, to whom is reading this will understand the struggles, advantages, disadvantages and overall pain an oppression that us prisoners face on a daily. I was locked up and sent to prison when I was 20 yrs old, sentence to a 15 year prison Bid. In the beginning of my sentence I didn't take prison serious, no cuts programs, nothing but trouble. I started off at CIF an minimum security level prison. Being away from my family an love ones was hard. I had a newborn Daughter who was born while I was in jail. To this day I try my best to establish a relationship with her through these gates. It was a very emotional time when I realized I might have to be here while she's growing up out there. There was a few struggles at CIF. I fought alot, lost the whole time I was there. They had no toilets or sinks in the cell. Once on a lock down I told the C/O I had to shit, he keep it pushing past my cell, minutes later he came back with a plastic trash bag + told me to shit in this an was dead serious. So I realized then how inhumane the system was. An I probably shitted in like 6 plastic bags before. Smh!
In 2014 I leveled up and was transferred to a maximum security level prison called Wabash. I was sent to the "SHOE" is what the call it, basically long time segregation. Guys were back there for 10 to 20 yrs, really going through, losing their mind. Just imagine being in prison... Okay now imagine being locked up in prison. It's hell on those units. They were killing guys when the officers did their cell extractions. The hollers an screams of prisoners bones being broke and jumped on nightly, by staff that had no humanity about themselves. I had to get off that unit, I wrote mental health to get to their unit hoping it wasn't me to be dead or injured next. But that got to to population, I realized how unprofessional the prison system really was when dealing with their hospital. They want to tell you that your not in pain, or nothing is wrong with you, or you don't need x-rays this that and the 3rd. It took 14 months to get them to do surgery on my hernia I had that was dropped low to my sack which was painful. I had to have my family call + complain about my pain an the physical conditions. Eventually they took care for it. If you have support on the outs you have better chances for justice behind those walls. The health care was terrible, old men limping without canes, or chairs, it was rough watching how they didn't care about us because of us being in prison. Next I want to talk about the workers an the labor they do and the salary there paid for. The most challenging and physically work in prison is working in the kitchen. We have to eat. But how hard they work back there an how hot it is. I volunteers to work one day and never did it again. So many trays, work to be done and washed. Being at Wabash where lifers are the people with 200 yrs 150, 90, 82 etc. It showed me that violent crimes are not took lightly. They ain't playing with people out there. There where guys who been down 33 yrs 30, 20 10 etc. aging, ones who aren't going home and ones who are who's about 70 yrs old when it's all said and done. Alot of those guys have been rehabilitated, they help groom the young and rowdy like I once was. Made me think if all the "Og's" older men who are intelligent and civil, can sit us down and lace us with the keys we need, then imagine that they potentially can do for our youth in our communities. There is no guidance out there. There a sense of respect in here among men when someone tells you they been down 20 yrs. Like Damn, you been going through the struggle that long and still have your sanity? Any way I had alot of support from my family, visits, money for commissary, which is important. We get 3 meals a day one a 4:00 am 11:00 am 5:00 pm. 5:00 pm is the last meal of the day, so if you have no food in your box thats your last meal of the day. An it's hard being hungry in here, trust me I been there. People wash other prisoners clothes, socks, shirts, shorts, some do drawers for soups. The prison pay all prisoners $10 a month. Which is not enough to get food or basic hygiene materials, such as soap, deo, toothpaste, razors, hair products, etc. Moving forward to how there staff treated ones and how no matter how bogus the staff was in any aspect if you request for a higher ranking officer they always back them up. Lose lose battle. Even when they pick with you talk to you bad, go into your cell trash it, mix your mail pic's, food up with your celly, then be disrespectful an all the way humiliate you make you strip, spread your own ass cheeks shows them your asshole, penis and sack on a regular. I've never had to do that anywhere for a random shakedown or before an existing visit except at Wabash Valley. Smh! Think about what type of power you get from making a guy expose there manhood at your request and to show his own asshole which he has never even seen himself. That power, to the wrong C/O's was creating the [wars?] + C/O's, they hate prisoners, say all type of disrespectful, racist, things you can imagine. I learned to keep my head down, or end up on the "SHOE" It was a lose lose situation. They did have a decent amount of psyc doctors that cared about the ones needing it. My psyc issues were, stress, anxiety, depression. Which is reasonable being on those lock up units. The law libraries are okay at Wabash, where Im at now I put a request 6 weeks ago still aint seen no library. Anyway I obtained my education there and picked up a trade for construction. Completed programs and got a lot of certificates. I became a man in prison. Learned guidance and structure and discipline. I'm in the best shape of my life. Very educated, I'm optimistic, conscience, and respectful and patient. And very clean! Those can be pluses. I saw alot of violence at Wabash stabbings mostly an a few riots. It was crazy too. I just knew how to stay out of the way and when I did do something I knew how to get away with it. Man I lost alot of loved ones being in prison. It sucks, I miss Daughters 1st day of school. 1st words, 1st steps, etc. I keep my faith in the lord I turned away from his blessings and love. An I just recently did this [Karios?] thing at Wabash It showed me his love again + I'm Here, Blessed! I recently been transferred from Wabash which was a blessing. Now Im at IYC, the prison where Mike Tyson did his time at in the 90's. A minimum security prison. It's okay now you want to talk about conditions. Man Wabash was a clean environment. This place has mice, roaches, gnats, and ants everywhere and it just looks disgusting too. Wabash had air conditioning, this place is so hot and humid it's terrible. So hot man we get locked in our cells at time, can't sleep cause the heat. Not going to lie I missed the guys at Wabash those guys aren't going home. Most of them, and the ones who is got about 15 to 20 left. Those guys are some of the most talented, sharpest intelligent humans I've ever been around. Prison is a contradiction. When we are locked up were here to be corrected, reform, rehabilitated. If you go to prison you don't have to don't shit unless you request it. It should be mandatory to take NA/AA, self help, education, therapy, anger management, some type of self development classes to help keep us out of prison. They let guys come here and make nothing of themselves and wonder why the recidivism rate is so high, which hurts good guys, "like myself" get modifications because of the past prisoners. I believe if your able to show the courts progress you should be let out. Also I think the staff here should at least care about rehabilitation. They don't most don't I've met some good C/O's with real genuine humanity for others. Anyways, with me doing this time is hard. Especially emotionally I'm 26 yrs old I will be 29, or 30 by the time I get out. So many people fall off that used to rock with me hard. It's hard to go through that. Makes me feel like a liability. I try my best to stay relevant in here so ones can reach out, send pic's etc. That's my emotional support, I try to just get through this the best way I can. I exercise daily, play ball, do whatever else I can do, I read and play alot of chess too. For the general public if you have love ones in prison be there for them it's alot harder in here trust me. Write them, send them funds, pic's, just all around support them. Encourage them to make something of themselves and to obtain certain qualities and skills that they can. Well to all the readers thank you for your time and just know that the conditions in here isn't the best. Until next time. Respectfully, Aaron Fellows [ID]
- love and solidarity - "striving in my struggle"
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