Your imagination, my reality

Hendrix, Troy



Troy Hendrix New York Your Imagination, My Reality Imagine this...... (4 walls and steel doors)... (Being confined in a cell 22-24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year).... (Being confined this way for years)... (Being confined this way indefinitely)... (Being in this confinement until Lethargy, chronic depression, irrational anger and rage, and emotional and psychological harm sets in).... (Being in this extreme isolation until your heart becomes cold, mind becomes distant, and soul becomes lost)........ This is your imagination, but this is my reality. Solitary Confinement.... Is considered another world. A world where barbarous and uncivilized behavior is the daily norm. A world where this abnormal environment, eventually seems normal. A world where things are not seen clearly through the mind’s eye. Majority of the time, one will not even realize that this environment is abnormal because after living in it for so long, you become a product of it. Majority of the time, one will not even realize that they are paranoid, uncivilized, socially awkward, delusional, bitter, miserable, and mentally and emotionally ill. Someone has to point these things out to them. In this world, often times, one becomes so overwhelmed with ill thoughts and emotions, that suicide is attempted or considered.......... This is your imagination, but this is my reality. Solitary Confinement... Is a nontherapeutic environment, and if the purpose of this confinement is to “fix” someone, then this purpose is defeated because the only thing this confinement will do, is leave one broken beyond repair. The abnormality of this setting can be clearly seen, and it begins with the cells, and the structure of them. At each facility, cells vary in size, but the over all structure remains the same. The doors are steel, and the walls are dull colored, and seem to close in at times. The cells consist of a sink and toilet (at some facilities there are showers in cells). The definition of bathroom, is a room containing “A bathtub or shower and usu. sink and toilet.” So in all actuality, we eat, sleep, and spend 22-24 hours in a bathroom. From the outside looking in, these cells (and cells used for 1 hour outside recreation) give off the impression of a cage used to confine wild monkey’s. Long periods of time spent in this type of confinement, and one could actually become like a wild monkey....... This is your imagination, but this is my reality. Solitary Confinement... The abnormality of this setting, continues with the barbarous and uncivilized behavior, which is considered a big part of this environment, and many are a product of it. Arguments amongst prisoners in solitary confinement, is the daily norm. Verbal degradation is done at the highest level possible, due to the fact that everyone is locked down, and unable to get next to one another physically. “Biological warfare” is another form of savagery that is done at the highest level possible. This “warfare” involves feces, urine, and saliva, and is one of the worst forms of degradation in solitary confinement, if not the worst. It is common to have these things thrown on, or at you, when you are escorted past the culprits cell, or recreation cage. Another tactic in “war” that is used, entails depriving one of sleep, by kicking and banging on their wall whenever they attempt to sleep. Despite all the loud talking, yelling, singing, and banging that occurs on a daily basis, solitary confinement is a very lonely place. In this extreme isolation, one’s thoughts are in constant overdrive, and creating a fantasy world in one’s mind, is most common. Escaping reality for awhile is necessary, but many become so engulfed in these worlds, that at times they find it difficult distinguishing fantasy from reality....... This is your imagination, but this is my reality. Solitary Confinement.... Is a place where I’ve been confined for the past 7 years. My confinement in this extreme isolation has no end date, I am being confined cruely and indefinitely. Unfortunately, this abnormal environment has long ago become normal in my minds eye. I have not taken any part, in any forms of savagery, but when I witness or hear about it occurring, I am no longer disgusted because I have become numb to this type of behavior. Over the years, i’ve experienced mental and emotional anguish, anger, anxiety, despair, loneliness, and bouts of depression. This abnormal environment is full of savagery, degradation, dehumanization, and inhumaly. This abnormal environment breeds misery bitterness, lonlieness, paranoia, hypersensitivity, distorted thinking, irrational rage, Loss of impulse control, depression, hopelessness, and psychological and emotional harm. Whether large or small, and whether you notice it or not, this type of confinement will take a part of you, it is inevitable. Whether you notice it or not, this abnormal setting will make you a product of this environment, and it will become a product of you....... In your mind you can clearly imagine all of this, but in reality, I live it.

Author: Hendrix, Troy

Author Location: New York

Date: May 6, 2013

Genre: Essay

Extent: 2 pages

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