Transcript
My Life 7-7-2020 I remember Mom standing in the kitchen washing dishis crying. She had no running water, no inside tolit. But that was not what she was crying about. She was crying over my sister running off. I was only about 10 then myself so my sister could have only been about 12. I huged my mother and told her I would never do her like my older sisters and brother had done, or was doing. Not long after that, I mean only days after my older brother, cousin and there friends desided I was of the age to get started in there life of crime. Thay showed me what to do, what to look fore, were to find it. In those days very fue people locked thire doors. People in the country went out in the filds to work. If thay locked up it was a semple lock. So I was sent into peoples homes. Away of life from the age of 10. Over the years I was used like this by Aunt's, Uncles, and yes even my father befor I was even the age of 15. My father came to the house were I lived with my mother. He ask that I go stay with him for a wile in Indianna. Bargersville or something like that. He looked like he was doing good. Nice car, nice home, red brick home. But he drank like he was on fire and the beer would put him out. So that did not last long. His new wife, a very nice lady. She did not put up with that long. She worked at Krogars in Greenwood and I guess the house was hers. She sure ended up with it. All Dad got was his truck and his close. We came back from that life to Tennessee. Dad left me at his Mom's house. No running water and no inside tolit again. About two weeks had gone by Dad shows up and tells me, lets go. I jump in the truck glad to see him and also glad to be getting away from my grandmothes house. I was the only kid around. We ended up in Mursfreesbaro on Cherry Lane in a house with no running water, no tolit and the women had 3 kids. I think I was 13 at this time. The women did not want me around her girl. Well one of them. I guess becouse she was around my same age. I dont no why dad done what he did but for some reason he told the women that if she was not going to let me sleep with her girl then she must sleep with me heself. Well the women done as he said. She came to my bed and she done things that I had never even thought of much less done. Her girl would have been much safer around me then I was around this women. Then it was like every women Dad went out with, he sent to me. Dad never put a hand on me himself. But he sure had his women do it. After he left this first women I remember he told me he was going to go by her house after her kids were inbed so no one would no I was with him. Wile he was inside with her I was to get into her car and get out her C.B. radio. It was made like a phone you see in your home. Anyways Dad run into this one women. One from his past. They moved in togather and Dad sent her to me at night. He married this one and after she became my step mother he kept sending her to me. Her told her she would like that after he got to old to do for her himself. At 13 this all got to me. I told one of my sisters about it but if she ever told anyone I dont no. She's gone now to just like Dad. Sis that is. Yes my stop mother is gone now also. Anyways at (13) I ran off and went back to my mothers house. Back to the stealing life. Mom worked most of the time. She new of everyones getting into trouble. What she did not no for years to is my part in everyones crimes. I was little and I knew if I told mom when she went to work I had people that would be mad. Was told more then once what thay would do. Dad would come by every now and then and get Mom to let him take me for the night or weekend. My step mom would come at night every time. At (15) I got into trouble with the law. My step mother talked about me. How sorry I was. But not to sorry to stop her from coming to my bed at nights. And I would only lay there wile she done her thing. I look back on the things she done and I no now she was injoying herself with a kid. All this stoped about the age of 16. I stoped going with my Dad for years and after I did go back around them in my 20s I let it be non that those times were at an end. After that thay seemed to never want to talk of it like it never happened. But of coure I was a sorry peace of shit by this time. You see all those years of being sent into people's homes, barns, cars, bulding, stores, you name it. Well this was my way of life by then. Sent off (3) times by the time I came of age. Months not years! Now Im an old man, well getting up in my years. Been in prison a fue times now also. Got alot of years on an inhanced sentence. Non-violent non-persons crimes but after being in prison over and over they seem to put you away for longer and longer. The thing is as we get older we start thinking about the past. We start thinking about what got us to were we are. You have the time that a killer would get! More then some! Sorry for the things you have done! Wishing alot of thing had not gone the way thay did to you or what you done to others. One good thing came out of my life I never done anything to my kids. And for what little time I spent with my kids I did not let anyone els do anything to them. I also tryed to tell them stealing was wrong. I'm sure thay offten wonder why I was so strong on them about doing wrong after the life I'v had and were I am at now. Now all I think of is being there and spending time with my grandkids. I'v never hurt any kid. Dont belieave in it! My girls can tell you that. Thay are my life. All I am or ever will be. I've taken schooling, training, classes. I want to do better. I'm older and see life in a new way. Sorry for the past and may never have any more then what I have in this prison. I say I wish. I wish to be home, that no one had came to me in the night. That I had not been sent into a life of crime from the age (9) or (10) on and on I wish There was a time when I ran when I seen the Law coming. If I was in a car I just put my foot to the floor and went. Got away a fue times to. But at what coust? Lucky I never killed anyone. When I was younger I never thought about it. Only that I got away or must get away. As I got older I would pull over. I still got in trouble, but older I seen that thay were going to end up getting you anyways so you might as well stop and not make things any harder then has to be. Older you get the more you change the more you think. Time changes everyone and how thay think and feel. I dont no how violent offenders think, feel, or change. To kill, rape, do violent things to others is out of my line of being, thoughts, inside structure of a person or I would be one of these violent people myself I guess. I see those people every day here in Prison. Thay talk about what thay have done. Some talk of other things thay done and got away with it. May be true or may not be true. But I do no that in the telling of the storys of violence most do not show sorrow in the telling. Sex offenders make up lies. If thay admit it at all, thay always seem to say me and the girls I was charge with were in love. She was (11) years old dud, were do you get to "love", when you are (30) or more. Make up storys about what happened, ages of victims. They pick up a bible and read like that bible is the most best thing in the world and then run around later with others charged with that crime and talk about the ways the courts done them wrong! What about the way the kids were done wrong. So as I say I do not no the ways violent minds work not being one. And to give violent minds other chences is a hard thought. Another Chance could mean another charge, another Crime, another kid, women, killing, violence. These are the things I see in here! Young people that show no sorrow just like I was. Gang members that are inhere still doing wrong things. People with short sentences, violent offenses and non-violent offenses. If there is any sorrow in here, most are the older inmates. People that are changing. enhanced sentence structures for non-violent offenses. People that have done 5-8-or 10 years and more in prison on non-violent-non-person charges. I got (36) years on enhanced sentence non-violent and I no a man in here that has done (18) years on (90) at 60% on non-violent enhanced offenses. If he gets out or if he got out I dont think he will do what he done again. He keeps getting put off by the Tennessee Parole Board. He's done the % the Judge gave him on his enhanced sentence but the parole Board thinks thay no more then the Judge did I guess. And he's not getting into trouble. If the State or States deside to let people go from prisons thay think, "let the ones go that are close to a release date". Thay let the inmate go that has done the lest amount of time on the smallest sentence. Some will have only done months or even days on the crimes. And thay will keep the inmate in Prisons with the same crimes bassed on enhanced sentence structures. The inmates that have done some time on there sentence. In fact (5)-(8)-10 years or more. On the same charges as the ones getting released. And we are talking about inmates that are getting up in there years. Changing, Thinking, Wishing. I hope all those young people thay let out within days and months have been locked up the time to Think about there life, to feel sorry for the past. What thay done and what people done to them. You ask a non-violent inmate in on enhanced sentence (60%) (80%) (100%) what he thinks about letting inmates out at or past red dates. Ones with small sentences with the same crime as he, he will say I'v done years on mine. Let him do some time on his. Same crime mind you. Your Courts will give probation on the same charges these days to people on the same crimes that you have 100s of inmates in prison fore for years and see no light. Yes give the breaks to the people that have not done any time and keep punishment on the ones that have done years on there cases for the same crimes. Where is the logick or the justice in that? Tony Beasley
