This is the first day of my lonly diary I felt I need one so I could help with my thoughts and to keep track of my dreams. They have been weird dreams. Either I’m building something or talking to somebody like [redacted] or [redacted]. I can’t tell you what tommorrow brings but who knows.
Things are ok with me and [redacted] but sometimes I just think about death but I guess with the crazy virus going on who can not think about death. Life must get on people. Deep down I know I will be ok but my fears play a dirty game with me.
So for now welcome to my lonly diary if you are reading it please know you can do any thing you put your mind to no matter the situation.
Unconditional love issues
Some times we never ever think about action when moving in life but here I am. I dont know why its so easy for me to forgive those who want to hurt me but its their loss not mine. Im loyal. I do all I can for my family its unconditional love issues.
The topic of this is a double sided coin it can be a friend or a enemie most times its a enemie but I wont get into that because its hurtful when you love people who would rather see you dead than alive or they think they would but really cant deal with out your unconditional love.
Todays a ok day its day 3 outside of my cage and I feel good but I cant seem to stay focused on my bible scriptures. In my eyes I read the whole bible its in my head and heart Im working on the next step of my life.
I don’t think people understand what unconditional love really is they use the phrase alot but I really dont think the understand how to be unconditionally in love with anybody let alone themselves. My family could wait till I turned my back to them before they stabbed me constantly.
They tryed to sneak and do it but in the moment they could wait I made them stabb me strait up, you should have seen the shock in there eyes when the plunged my sword in my beating heart but I guess unconditional love comes with a price
Sometimes I sit and stare at the walls have you ever been trapped in one room for 7 months without leaving. I mean everything gets brought to you dont look at it as a made services cause its not. They put our trays through a hole in the wall. Our lives are waited on by people who don’t think highly of us.
I cant complain cause I understand my action brought this on but still this is a life that appears to be the same every day. They say humans are creatures of habit well they meant jails and prisons. Its society’s big solution that didnt turn out as planned.
I talk a lot about this big idea of a better solution because somebody has to or it will never get fixed. Do I think they should do away with prison no because it has to be able to teach better ways but to say lock us away and not understand the thing that drives us is crazy.
But who am I? but a caged bird that sings sad song and cant hold a tune.
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